Are The Parent To Blame?

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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Janet Kimetto
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Re: Are The Parent To Blame?

Post by Janet Kimetto »

Parents do have a huge influence on how their children turn out, but they are not the only influence. There's the society, the friends they hang out with, and even the books they read. And if they make bad decisions when they're older, that's on them.
“Be wary. Be clever. Be good.”
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Post by Nathaniel Owolabi »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
I have to say 'no' to that last question. The did not. Although the circumstances they found themselves in might have had a role to play in how they raised their children, however, they could have done a better job. The role of parenting is very important in a child's life. Although children might rebel, there are some fundamental aspects of their lives that would come from how they were raised.
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Post by Kira Bonita Reece »

I think Lena tried the best she could. Parenting is a partnership. If children see parents not agreeing, especially when handing out punishments, the children often become resentful. If they know that the parents don't see eye to eye then they can find loopholes to avoid consequences for their actions
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Post by Oyster »

Parents are always to be blamed if they fail to bring up their kids properly. So maureen and Jamal takes the cake for Kalayla's foul attitude.

But sometimes, a parent could all that they ought to and a child would still turn up to places with a foul attitude. In such instances, the parents can be excused
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Post by DyanaFl »

Parents certainly play a major role in shaping the character of a child but there a lot of other factors and focusing on just parenting is unfair. We can realize where Maureen, Jamal, Lena went wrong in their parenting, but I think you could consider it hindsight or having an objective/third-person view on the matter. In their situations they tried to do their best. I object to considering Joey as considering a good one though.
In the end, parents at best can just guide. Children pick their own paths on how they could turn out.
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Post by Neshboy Aburi »

I would not entirely blame parents for how their kids turn out but the author seems to think differently in this book.I would say this because things end well for everyone when they are in sync.
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Post by Nikhila Kulkarni »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
The parents have the most influence on the kids, either positive or negative. The kids learn from them initially, but not only from them. The parents are however responsible for inculcating good values or setting an example. But parents are human, and they can too be wrong and make mistakes. Its about owning those and taking responsibility. This is what the book teaches us. The parents took wrong decisions at some point, but they were hardly bad for their kids. After all, Lena's kids learned good manners despite their weird, abusive father.
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Post by Ra Ka »

I think that the way parenting is practiced has a role in how children grow up and behave, but it is not necessarily that if you are good, your children will be as well, and on the contrary, if you are bad, your children will become bad. Children also have their own thinking
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Post by J Edwards »

Parenting is not a white or black issue. There are no absolute standard parenting practices. I wish to consider it more of a relative affair. It usually depends on the situation at that particular time. So I wouldn't entirely blame parents for all the issues.
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Post by 19blueofficial »

No one is perfect and I can say that parents do make mistakes sometimes, but what can you say? No one is perfect. Parenting is not like a seminar where one sits down to learn. It is a practical experience and comes with a lot of diligence. All parents tried their best in raising their children. Even Joey tried his best in making his children toughen up and not act weak, it might be due to his personal experiences, but we rarely saw anything about Joey's childhood experiences. As for Lena she did her best, Maureen is learning what being a mother truly is, and Jamal was an awesome dad.
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Post by Rizki Pradana »

I think parenting is where you nurture your kids with love. But I will say that Kalayla and Lena's children grew up because of what parenting that their parent has given and the situation itself. I would not blame parenting because sometimes the environment can play a part in it. The parents in this book did not nurture their kids properly because of the characters of their parents and the prejudice that happen in the story.
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Post by Claire Twy »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
In the end, there is no right way to be a parent. All that can be done is for parents to try their best in nurturing their children. Even though Maureen and Lena regretted not doing enough for their children (we don't really see Jamal or Joey's point of view), it seems that Kalayla and the four boys turned out okay. Although they're all rough and tough on the outside, we can see kindness and a fierce devotion to their loved ones e.g. the twins threatening their dad to save their mother, Kalayla putting in so much effort for Maureen's birthday, JJ shielding his brother from his father's disapproval etc.
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Post by Tebogo Eugene M »

Yes children, are influenced by their parents everything children do they take it from their parents. Parents are to be blamed for their children's behavior.
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Post by Samuel Mamo »

Yes! who otherwise? No one grows without influence, all trait is taken from someone or something, so Joey and Lena should take the blame.
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Post by Berry_ »

I think Lena tried her best to be a good parent considering she had a narcissist for a husband and she had four boys to raise. The children turned out the way they did because of Joey's bad parenting. Kalayla on the other hand turned out stubborn because she was neglected by Maureen after her father died. So, yes, the parenting had a great impact on their characters.
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