Are The Parent To Blame?
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Re: Are The Parent To Blame?
- Raluca_Mihaila
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Parenting is such a complex task, so we should not judge parents for their mistakes. I think that we should judge their intentions, instead. If a parent makes a mistake without intention, it is not a mortal sin in my book. Sometimes mother or fathers want the best for their children, but they fail because they are victims of the society or their upbringing.Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
- car-mbz
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There are many factors outside home that contribute to a child's growth, however, when a child acquired an unfitting attitude it can be corrected at home. In the case of Joey and Lena's children, they extracted their bad behavior directly from their home—from Joey. Lena was aware that her children echoes Joey's harmful lifestyle, yet she remained dominated by Joey and too feeble to undo her children's morality. Regarding Maureen's parenting, I think that she was always overwhelmed with her work and sorrow to give Kalayla a reasonable amount of attention daily. Their mother and daughter relationship would've been lovelier if she had used her creativeness about replacing their bland "Sunday talks."Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 09:45 Joey is always saying that the boys should be left alone to toughen up. Maureen is too busy working to take care of Kalayla, and Lena has had it with the boys. From their stories, what is your view on parenting? Is it the reason Kalayla and Lena's children grow the way they are? Would you blame parenting to the moral uprightness or bad character of a child?
Did Joey, Jamal, Maureen, and Lena nurture their children properly?
- Gabby S14
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I agree with you. There is usually an internal need to protect and justify actions as a parent, but sometimes that is not always necessary or helpful to the development of a child. People make mistakes, that goes for both children and parents, so we shouldn't put so much emphasis on blame for either member of the family when it was a reasonable mistake. Learning experiences are good but not always easy.unamilagra wrote: ↑09 Sep 2020, 12:34 I think this question implies that the kids didn't turn out ok, which I feel is untrue in this case. I think even though Lena was not close to her two surviving boys, they were both good people. Kalayla has some issues which are common to tweens, but I think she's going to turn out ok as well.
Every parent makes mistakes and has regrets about them. But I honestly think this book is a testament to the fact that kids are resilient, and maybe we as parents don't need to sweat every little mistake they make.
- Gabby S14
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So, I think what I'm trying to get at is the boys in Lena's family had a lot of problems growing up that were caused by their parents and the way they were raised (even Lena's distance caused some trauma), but at the end of the day, the boys showed that they knew right from wrong and they defended each other even when it was hard.
- Mys_Trea
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In Lena's case she definitely could have done more instead of assuming that her boys are like Joey and hence, nothing can be done to help them. Maybe if she had secretly tried to talk to her kids, they wouldn't have been estranged as adults.
But the worse parenting in the book comes from Jamal's parents. I understand that Clarence had a traumatic experience as a child, but letting him behave as he pleases to the point he tried to rape Maureen is disturbing. If they had intervened at the right time, it wouldn't have come to that.
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