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AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 12:22 Is that what every parent ask themselves all the time. Am I doing okay? Am I making the same mistakes as my parents? Everybody does them. The mistakes I mean. It is hard for me to judge the choices they made. I think Kalaya turned out just fine. You also have Jamal and what is his brother name I forgot, two sons raised by the same parents and in the same environment that turned out differently. Then you have four kids that Lena had that are raised in domestic abused household. Soemtimes you just roll with what you get. I wouldn't put blame on anyone but they certainly had an impact, together with other sources.

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: ↑05 Sep 2020, 00:05

AntonelaMaria wrote: ↑04 Sep 2020, 12:22 Is that what every parent ask themselves all the time. Am I doing okay? Am I making the same mistakes as my parents? Everybody does them. The mistakes I mean. It is hard for me to judge the choices they made. I think Kalaya turned out just fine. You also have Jamal and what is his brother name I forgot, two sons raised by the same parents and in the same environment that turned out differently. Then you have four kids that Lena had that are raised in domestic abused household. Soemtimes you just roll with what you get. I wouldn't put blame on anyone but they certainly had an impact, together with other sources.

Clarence is the name you forgot. I see you narrowed it down to an individual level. To some point, I'd say everyone is responsible for their own decisions. Okay, parents may also have something to do with it, but you ought to choose how you respond to it. But then, how does a child grow without doing the awful things he/she sees or those that have been taught by their parents?

Christieee wrote: ↑07 Sep 2020, 08:01 Parenting is difficult. A parent could do everything within their power for their child, but something unexpected could always happen. As a parent though, you love your child regardless. This, I think, can also be applied all the relationships explored in the book. Lena loved her boys, but her love was not enough. Unexpected things can always happen.

unamilagra wrote: ↑09 Sep 2020, 12:34 I think this question implies that the kids didn't turn out ok, which I feel is untrue in this case. I think even though Lena was not close to her two surviving boys, they were both good people. Kalayla has some issues which are common to tweens, but I think she's going to turn out ok as well.

Every parent makes mistakes and has regrets about them. But I honestly think this book is a testament to the fact that kids are resilient, and maybe we as parents don't need to sweat every little mistake they make.

Twylla wrote: ↑12 Sep 2020, 09:50 I have seen children grow up in the same home where one was never a problem and the other was nothing but rebellious. God created a perfect world for Adam and Eve, and they still made poor decisions. King David was called by God to be the King of Israel, but he committed adultery and murder. There are no guarantees that being a good parent will result in good children.

I think they all did the best they could based on their life experience, and that is all you can expect from people.

Rave4 wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 02:45 Children in the end decide how they turn out in the end, but this decision largely hinges on the kind of influence their parents had on them, so parents play a very huge role in who their children end up becoming

Allen Cheque wrote: ↑14 Sep 2020, 18:19 I believe that to some extent the parents are to blame. Joey did not help the boys by letting them get away with almost anything. Lena should have done more to keep her boys in check. Maureen should have spent more time with Kalayla or asked someone else to keep an eye on her daughter. Nevertheless, if we have to be honest, these same parents were doing their best the way they know how to. They could have done better, yes, but as the saying goes, no one is perfect.