"Motherhood"

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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evraealtana
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Re: "Motherhood"

Post by evraealtana »

Laura Mich wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 06:38 Kalayla does not perceive the sacrifices that Maureen make in bid to secure her a better future, rather she sees her mother's absenteeism.
There's a quote that I love:
“No one ever said on their deathbed, ‘I wish I’d spent more time at the office.’ ”
— Harold Kushner
I think Maureen's struggle goes back to this concept. She's trying so hard to support Kalayla in terms of money, when what Kalayla wants is support in terms of time spent together. In the end, I think that Maureen will grow to regret missing this time with her daughter, no matter what she was choosing instead. Kalayla regrets it already.
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Post by Budhal »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 00:43 Motherhood is demanding and challenging. It requires that a mother is selfless and relentless. Maureen works 100+ hours a week trying to secure Kalayla's future. But that sacrifices her time with her, which results to Kalayla trying to find herself. One lesson that's clearly given by Lena I that change can come from one person to another. That your story can help you see the potential in others and prevent them from making the same mistakes you did.
That's very well put. Indeed you can learn from your elders' mistakes and avoid doing them yourself. Same thing applies to parenting as well. We can learn good things from our parents and avoid the mistakes that they unknowingly did while bringing us up.
What isn't said is as important as what is said.
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Post by JGretz-7 »

Motherhood is best done with reflection and honoring the individual. We have to reflect on the decisions we've made, ponder what may have been a better choice, and be honest with ourselves and our families (blood and surrogate). We learn by making mistakes, reflecting, and adjusting. All of the women in the story model how they honor each other with respectful, caring actions.
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Post by Readinggrl18 »

Parenting is an extremely challenging job. There is little appreciation for the sacrifices and work as a parent. I think mothers have it harder than fathers. Fathers often get commended in society for the littlest efforts whereas the expectations put on a mother are much greater. They are often expected to give full time care, extra attention, homework help, keeping up the house, disciplining and more. Add a job to that and it is an impossible task. I have know fathers who were praised when out with their children for "babysitting" them. As one responded, "I am not babysitting my children, I am being a good father." My point is, Maureen and Lena both tried to do their best for their children. They have made mistakes, as does every parent, but want what is best for their children. We must learn from our mistakes and try to do better the next time.
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Post by zainherb »

Allen Cheque wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 13:25 In my opinion, motherhood is always challenging. Generaly, parenting a child is not an easy task and comes with various hurdles and challenges. Almost all parents wish they could have done better in rasing their kids and that's how Lena felt. She regretted how she raised her four and so wanted to help Maureen raise Kalayla the righ way. That was commendable.
I agree.

I also think the realisation comes after time has passed and the mistakes made by the mother-or father, can't be reversed or fixed. This is why, they say, that grandparents spoil their grandchildren.
It is a way to try parenting again while having the experience of 20plus years of raising their own children, and be better at it the second time around.
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Post by ElizaBeth Adams »

Kalayla's story shows how important it is to never give up on your child, to parent them with all you have and to surround your child with positive influences who will also support you in that role. Kalayla could have easily gone down a different path. Maureen was doing all she knew to do as a parent. Lena's wisdom made a big difference. As mothers, we shouldn't be afraid to seek out help from others when raising our children.
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Post by tafta »

Being a mother is a challenge that relies heavily on balance. I think while you work on provision of the necessary environment and needs like in Maureen's case as a single mom, taking care of the non-materials should not be ignored. Children in my opinion need love and attention to be secure and to blossom more than anything. It is a very difficult balance to strike.
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Post by Gift5 »

Nothing in life comes easy, especially not motherhood and parenting, i think motherhood is all about insight and foresight, a parent or a mother needs to see beyond the now and into the Child's future to be able to know what would be best for that child.
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Post by JC gull »

I can relate to Maureen's circumstances not from a maternal point of view, but being a single parent of a teenage daughter. Trying to balance work , bringing money in to keep you both going, maintaining a home life, while keeping a good relationship and trying to guide your child down the right path is never easy without support.
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Post by PeterRabitt20 »

If anything, this book shows how hard it is to be a parent, especially a mother. Both Lena and Maureen feel strong guilt about their shortcomings. They seem to be harder on themselves.
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Post by _khush_p »

Allen Cheque wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 13:25 In my opinion, motherhood is always challenging. Generaly, parenting a child is not an easy task and comes with various hurdles and challenges. Almost all parents wish they could have done better in rasing their kids and that's how Lena felt. She regretted how she raised her four and so wanted to help Maureen raise Kalayla the righ way. That was commendable.
I fully agree with you! I think no parents feel satisfied with how they handled parenthood. There is always room for improvement.
“See the good in everything, and the best of it will find you.”
- We Are Voulhire: A New Arrival Under Great Skies.
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Post by kalgaonkarsnehal »

No matter what a mother does or how hard she works for her kids or how successful her kids are, a mother always asks whether she could have done something differently or better. While the book gives a direct insight into Lena's and Maureen's roles as mothers, we all face a daily struggle.
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” ― Isaac Asimov :techie-studyinggray: :D
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Post by Sou Hi »

Parenting is never an easy job to do, especially when it comes to women. Lena was submitting to her husband and had no right or will to fight against Joey. I always thought that if Lena chose to ask for Mattwo's help back then, perhaps her sons would be saved from their fates. As for Maureen, she didn't work until Jamal's dead, and maybe that was her mistake. I admire her determination to raise Kalayla alone, though it didn't work very well. Maureen lacks both financial ability and experience to do so, after all. However, life has no "buts." What has been done has been done, so we can only brave ourselves and face reality. Being mother is hard, but as long as women have enough love for their kids, they can do very unexpected things.
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Post by Vivian Jabeya »

Motherhood is not a simple task. It is a phrase filled with doubts. All moms want to provide the best for their children and will keep on questioning themselves about this.
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Post by iammiape »

Aishwarya Chhabra wrote: 10 Sep 2020, 15:14 Motherhood plays a more prominent role in Kalayla. Maureen faces the daily challenge and complexity of raising Kalayla on her own. Their tempestuous mother-daughter relationship triggers uneasy memories and regrets in Lena about the way she raised her own four boys. At some point while raising their kids, many mothers like Lena and Maureen, ask themselves: What could I or what should I have done differently? And what do I do now?
What can be the inferences?
Regret does arouse discernment on the past and evaluation for the future. Parents face regret; some when their decision influenced the growth of their children against their favor. Their mistakes can significantly impact their children adversely, but what will they do about it will resonate more than the mistake they made.
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