"Motherhood"

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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jimmy02
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Re: "Motherhood"

Post by jimmy02 »

Maureen is unable to give more time to Kalayla due to her hectic work hours. She has to work through these hours for Kalayla herself. It's a necessity for her. Yet, her unavailability creates friction between her and her teenager. Mothers across the animal kingdom face this conundrum. And I think they know what's best for their wards as well. If Maureen had stopped working to spend more time with Kalayla, there might be no food for both to have, or worse, no place to live. She does what she does because she has to.
There is no friend as loyal as a book.
~ Ernst Hemingway

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Themmie10
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Post by Themmie10 »

Motherhood has always been tedious and it demands wisdom of God, and also a lesson from experienced people. Motherhood demands a lot of sacrifices too, your children’s happiness over yours most times.

I pray all mothers out there get the wisdom needed to train their children.
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Post by Bridgette C 2 »

Motherhood is quite challenging. It is a lifetime responsibility and duty. I think what I can infer from the Kalayla in terms of motherhood is that, there is no perfect mother and that everyone can be a mother whether blood related or not. Being a mother is all about sacrifices and selflessness. I saw in the story all the things a momma could do for her child. Motherhood is a powerful love.
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Post by Samuel Mamo »

The thing is, it is not about the amount of love we have for them that we build them. Look at what Lena does, she first observes Kalayla, searches for the causes, acts over it, and then changes strategies.
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Post by khaulah »

I feel that Lena did the best she could. Forget about taking care of her children, she couldn't take care of herself, considering how much of abuse she put up with. She easily could have overlooked her children, but she did whatever she could for them. On the other hand, Maureen was really care less with Kalayla. Granted, Jamal's death must have been crippling. But her daughter only has her and she was left to her own devices, which I felt was unfair for the child.
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Post by fire_spice »

No one is ever ready for motherhood and all the challenges that come with it. There's no text book. Even Lena who raised four boys struggles to find the right initiatives and responses to Kalayla. Then there's life and all its uncertainties. I think what I established from the story is that community is strong and it can help protect families. Motherhood is not the work of the mother alone and sometimes mothers too need help.
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Post by Shillah Andeso »

I am yet to be a mother but I think it would be nice to be a mother. I, however, don't think you should be a mother to understand what it takes. Some of the children who have been raised by single mothers understand what it takes to be a mother. Some have also raised their siblings. It all depends on the conditions.
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Post by Moneybag »

Being a mother comes with a whole lot of responsibility. With the difficulties Maureen must have been through i feel she did not do so well being a good mother to Kalayla. However the guilt we feel for our incompetence can plunge us into doing the right thing. I think this was the case of Lena.
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Post by Glorious Jack »

In my opinion, every mother will always have regrets on what they did, what they could have done better, what they should not have done. The best any mother can do is love, care and support their children and hope for the best.
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Post by Emilia Kvatchadze »

Motherhood is extremely challenging, and it always will be. You take on such a big responsibility when giving life to a human being. I believe that a mother will always question herself, and how she has raised her child. She will probably also regret a ton of things, but at the end of the day, then a mother did her best, and she has just come out on the other end stronger, with now a lot of knowledge. Lena had so many regrets about her sons, and I think that's why she has such a big love for kalayla.
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Post by Donald Trust »

Motherhood is a very demanding stage of life. My take on this is that everyone should be prepared for it before embarking on it so as not to make a mistake that would affect the child.
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Post by Cocobutta »

Parenting is a very difficult task especially when the children start to form opinions of their own and start getting influenced by the people around them because they begin to question their parents. Mothers always struggle with understanding each child and addressing their issues in the best way possible. It is all trial and error.
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Post by maycherono91 »

Motherhood can be complex depending on the child. There are those kids who make it easy to be a mother, but there are also those like Kalayla. But all in all, it is a real honour when God chooses you to be somebody's mother
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Post by Jerry Anozie »

Motherhood is a very complex stage of life. I should even suggest that one needs a school of motherhood to be able to succeed in it. Because a lot of people have made a lot of mistakes in it. Everyone should be fully ready and prepared to start the journey.
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Post by Precious Oba »

Motherhood, just like many other phenomena in our lives, do not come with any perfection or step-by-step guide. There's no guarantee at all that a woman will become an awesome mother whether she's ready (married to a good man) or not ready (unmarried, teenage pregnancy, death of her partner, as in the case of Maureen, etcetera).

A woman simply matures into motherhood like any other human being matures into adulthood, a profession, a task, etc. We all question our actions with the intention of knowing whether we have done well or not, and this is the same with mothers.

That being said, there are certain common sense tactics one can apply in raising children. For example, it is general knowledge that kids will mostly not understand complex life lessons, so any adult dealing with a child, must learn to break it down in the simplest terms. The fact that there's no guide to motherhood does not mean that wisdom, knowledge and love cannot be applied in raising a child.

At the end of the novel, Maureen's reached a certain level of maturity. She no longer spoke nervously to Kalayla or Lena but with more certainty and composure. She learnt a lot of lessons from Lena and on her own by facing her fears.

She finally reached the gold she had been mining all the while. Lena had reached there a little later than her because of a major factor (her abusive husband) which was not a factor for Maureen. But at the time Lena meets Maureen, she is able to 'fill in' for her, thus mothering both Maureen and Kalayla.

Lena shows Maureen a good example of what she could do to raise the kind of daughter she has properly. In all, motherhood involves a lot of learning, unlearning, relearning, as well as teaching.
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