"Motherhood"

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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Aishwarya Chhabra
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"Motherhood"

Post by Aishwarya Chhabra »

Motherhood plays a more prominent role in Kalayla. Maureen faces the daily challenge and complexity of raising Kalayla on her own. Their tempestuous mother-daughter relationship triggers uneasy memories and regrets in Lena about the way she raised her own four boys. At some point while raising their kids, many mothers like Lena and Maureen, ask themselves: What could I or what should I have done differently? And what do I do now?
What can be the inferences?
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Joseph_ngaruiya
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Motherhood is demanding and challenging. It requires that a mother is selfless and relentless. Maureen works 100+ hours a week trying to secure Kalayla's future. But that sacrifices her time with her, which results to Kalayla trying to find herself. One lesson that's clearly given by Lena I that change can come from one person to another. That your story can help you see the potential in others and prevent them from making the same mistakes you did.
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
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Post by Adu Boahene »

Motherhood is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It brings about pride and comes with a different form of maturation. Not all children are the same. Some are very easy to deal with, others, it will only take a miracle for them to be tamed. Most often, it's not about what the mother is doing wrong, but rather the environment in which they find themselves. For example, there was no father figure in Kalayla's life. That can be a factor for her rebellion. Mostly it's single parents who suffer the most because the other partner is absent and not in the picture so it puts all the pressure on the existing one. At times the weight gets too heavy, unbearable and the frustration is released onto the kids. Or the child might be going through something personally, and with no one to share the problem with who can relate, it then manifests in their actions. The questions that arises after can only be answered after critical analysis of the situation. It might be it's too late there's no way to fix anything, or just give them time to come around, or try to be in their sight as much as possible even if they don't want to see you. Better yet, try to realize where you went wrong, maybe your speech might have been offensive or you had no time for them and try to spend as much time as you can making it up to them. Proper communication is important but if none is willing to open up. The relationship won't work. Mothers should be open minded no matter what, a child must be able to relate to their parents on a more personal level, share everything without fear. If these things are put in place, the child going wayward is less likely to occur.
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Post by Allen Cheque »

In my opinion, motherhood is always challenging. Generaly, parenting a child is not an easy task and comes with various hurdles and challenges. Almost all parents wish they could have done better in rasing their kids and that's how Lena felt. She regretted how she raised her four and so wanted to help Maureen raise Kalayla the righ way. That was commendable.
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Adu Boahene wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 01:26 Motherhood is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It brings about pride and comes with a different form of maturation. Not all children are the same. Some are very easy to deal with, others, it will only take a miracle for them to be tamed. Most often, it's not about what the mother is doing wrong, but rather the environment in which they find themselves. For example, there was no father figure in Kalayla's life. That can be a factor for her rebellion. Mostly it's single parents who suffer the most because the other partner is absent and not in the picture so it puts all the pressure on the existing one. At times the weight gets too heavy, unbearable and the frustration is released onto the kids. Or the child might be going through something personally, and with no one to share the problem with who can relate, it then manifests in their actions. The questions that arises after can only be answered after critical analysis of the situation. It might be it's too late there's no way to fix anything, or just give them time to come around, or try to be in their sight as much as possible even if they don't want to see you. Better yet, try to realize where you went wrong, maybe your speech might have been offensive or you had no time for them and try to spend as much time as you can making it up to them. Proper communication is important but if none is willing to open up. The relationship won't work. Mothers should be open minded no matter what, a child must be able to relate to their parents on a more personal level, share everything without fear. If these things are put in place, the child going wayward is less likely to occur.
I wouldn't say motherhood is a curse at all. A child is a blessing, and so is motherhood. Being a mother gives you lessons and a sense of responsibility, which also cultivates wisdom. As a mum, Lena went through trying times. I believe that's why she worked with Helping Hands Shelter for Women. She wanted to be a source of hope for other women.
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Allen Cheque wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 13:25 In my opinion, motherhood is always challenging. Generaly, parenting a child is not an easy task and comes with various hurdles and challenges. Almost all parents wish they could have done better in rasing their kids and that's how Lena felt. She regretted how she raised her four and so wanted to help Maureen raise Kalayla the righ way. That was commendable.
I also agree that parenting is challenging. You can feel the distress from Lena's voice when she says, "it didn't matter how much I talked about good behavior. Those two were always huddled together, whispering, planning, and getting "smarter" about what they did, just like Joey taught them."
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
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Post by Lilyflower-x2 »

Their is no manual on motherhood. It is natural to make mistakes. By helping Maureen, Lena was trying to ensure history did not repeat itself.
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” – George R.R. Martin
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Post by Joseph_ngaruiya »

Lilyflower-x2 wrote: 15 Sep 2020, 23:44 Their is no manual on motherhood. It is natural to make mistakes. By helping Maureen, Lena was trying to ensure history did not repeat itself.
This is very true. There's no one rule that fits all. Every family is different. It can be seen through the way they handle their issues, relate with each other, and carry themselves. Lena’s family knew all about buying and marketing real estate, while Joey’s family knew all about rehabilitation and construction. They both came from different backgrounds and Joey had a very radical approach to dealing with mistakes. Lena had to fit in for the sake of her boys, but that ended up hurting her even more. She learned from her mistakes. That's why you can see her seeking to change Kalayla's and Maureen's relationship.
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
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Post by Laura Mich »

Motherhood is like trying out a new recipe. You add or omit one ingredient and you end up cooking a dish different from what you expected. Learning from the past mistakes helps you improve on your kitchen skills and prepare a better dish the the previous. Motherhood is a blessing and a malediction in disguise. Lena helped Maureen to ensure her bitter history doesn't repeat itself.
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Post by Laura Mich »

Lilyflower-x2 wrote: 15 Sep 2020, 23:44 Their is no manual on motherhood. It is natural to make mistakes. By helping Maureen, Lena was trying to ensure history did not repeat itself.
True. There's no perfect family. Depending upon the past experiences, every mother has her own way of bring up her child, and there's no shame in making mistakes.
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Post by Laura Mich »

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 00:43 Motherhood is demanding and challenging. It requires that a mother is selfless and relentless. Maureen works 100+ hours a week trying to secure Kalayla's future. But that sacrifices her time with her, which results to Kalayla trying to find herself. One lesson that's clearly given by Lena I that change can come from one person to another. That your story can help you see the potential in others and prevent them from making the same mistakes you did.
Children cannot understand the sacrifices their parents make until they're parents themselves. Kalayla does not perceive the sacrifices that Maureen make in bid to secure her a better future, rather she sees her mother's absenteeism.
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Post by Scerakor »

Laura Mich wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 06:29 Motherhood is like trying out a new recipe. You add or omit one ingredient and you end up cooking a dish different from what you expected. Learning from the past mistakes helps you improve on your kitchen skills and prepare a better dish the the previous. Motherhood is a blessing and a malediction in disguise. Lena helped Maureen to ensure her bitter history doesn't repeat itself.
I really like that analogy. We, as parents, may think that we are just changing one minor detail in our parenting style from one child to another, but an entirely different result occurs. This is partially nurture, but likely has a bit of nature as well. Like you mentioned, Lena helped Maureen to ensure her bitter history doesn't repeat itself. This, unfortunately is not always the case in that those that have troubled pasts are often more likely to repeat those same mistakes. That shows the importance of this kind of external influence.
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Allen Cheque wrote: 11 Sep 2020, 13:25 In my opinion, motherhood is always challenging. Generaly, parenting a child is not an easy task and comes with various hurdles and challenges. Almost all parents wish they could have done better in rasing their kids and that's how Lena felt. She regretted how she raised her four and so wanted to help Maureen raise Kalayla the righ way. That was commendable.
Becoming a mother-type figure in a person's life is a calling. It takes a lot to be willing to pour into the life of someone who is not your flesh and blood. I agree, it is very commendable.
1 Cor 15: 19-20, 26 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
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Goodness, motherhood is tricky no matter who you are. Mom guilt is a real thing, but I believe the best moms have the most. They are the ones truly concerned with doing a good job at raising children. Especially in the world we live in today it is extremely difficult. You never really know if you’re making the best choices for your kids, you just do the best you can and pray.
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Children do not come with manuals, we learn by trial and error. The most important thing for me is to raise and guide them with love because nothing is ever black or white in this life.
Documented history is a gift from the past to the future! - NqobileM
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