"Motherhood"

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
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Imstaci-1
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Re: "Motherhood"

Post by Imstaci-1 »

A common saying in m culture is that "You will understand when you have your own kids". Women who are mothers are at the end of the day humans first. being a mother in my opinion is a superhuman strength because it really can be tough. If we take mothers as humans and not superhumans then we should understand that they are also humans with their own set of strengths and weaknesses. All a mother can do is love their children wholeheartedly. With love comes a lot of other things like sacrifice, providing and guiding. Yes, at times the guidance is lacking and things fall apart.
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Post by Amara911 »

Motherhood is challenging but its never a curse. There is a whole lot of blessing that comes with it. The most important is to raise a child in love, selflessness, humility and God. Motherhood has no manual
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Post by Aishwarya Chhabra »

Lilyflower-x2 wrote: 15 Sep 2020, 23:44 Their is no manual on motherhood. It is natural to make mistakes. By helping Maureen, Lena was trying to ensure history did not repeat itself.
I totally agree. A mother is not the one who gives birth to a child. Any female who plays an eminent role in the life of a being is a mother. Lena is a mother figure for both Kalayla and Maureen. Take a live example of MOTHER TERESA. She was a motherly figure for lot many people.
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Karina Nowak
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Post by Karina Nowak »

Mothers are just people at the end of the day. People with flaws who make bad judgement just like anyone else. Becoming a mother doesn't suddenly turn you into this perfectly mannered, all-knowing being. I think when looking back at things you could have done better, it is very hard not to feel guilty like, 'if only I had done this' or 'if only I had said that', but like Maya Angelou says, you do the best you can in any situation and when you know better, you do better.

Lena now knows better, so she should do better. Whatever happened with her sons are in the past, and she should try to do the best she can now in the situation. Maybe it is also a blessing that Maureen came into her life so she can help her avoid the mistakes that she made. I honestly feel this is why you see grandparents doting on their grandchildren because they probably wish they had more time to dote on their own children when they were that age, instead of being madly busy providing for them.

I think if someone knows that despite misconceptions that you love them because you have shown them time and time again that they are important to you, eventually any challenges can be overcome.
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Post by MeganDJ »

Being a mother is a demanding and grueling task, especially if you are a single mother. Her working constantly to put food on the table is commendable and important, however the relationship between mother and daughter needs to be maintained through constant time and understanding. There should always be a balance as much as possible and I am sure the daughter would appreciate more time with her mother than getting something trivial and materialistic.
He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe - Marcus Aurelius
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Post by dianaterrado »

Aishwarya Chhabra wrote: 10 Sep 2020, 15:14 Motherhood plays a more prominent role in Kalayla. Maureen faces the daily challenge and complexity of raising Kalayla on her own. Their tempestuous mother-daughter relationship triggers uneasy memories and regrets in Lena about the way she raised her own four boys. At some point while raising their kids, many mothers like Lena and Maureen, ask themselves: What could I or what should I have done differently? And what do I do now?
What can be the inferences?
I'm not a mother so I can't fully understand or know the kind of challenge and hardship motherhood is. But I saw my mom raising us. And I know she's far from perfect but she did the best she could the best way she knew how. And I'd like to think she raised us right.
"We should all have something to be weirdly passionate about."
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Post by lillyk12 »

Motherhood is always somewhat of a controversial topic. There are simply so many different openings and very personal points of view that it’s always harder to judge from the outside. We can never really know what Maureen feels about how she raised her daughter and whether she deems it a success or a failure, but maybe mothers shouldn’t even have to face this question in the first place!
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Post by Pearl Hijabi »

Motherhood is always challenging. Mothers always have to go through various hurdles and challenges. But then again there's no manual to refer to. We learn through errors and mistake. In KALAYLA Lena regrets how she brought up her 4 boys hence she wants to help Maureen with bringing up Kalayla.
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Post by Pamela Bianca Mas »

Children can be taught about being good sons and daughters, but there are no lessons about being good parents. Each of us needs to learn about it all by ourselves, which makes parenthood a very exciting adventure. But I think no one will argue when I say the path to motherhood is more difficult because the bond that’s built between a mother and a child in those 9 months of pregnancy is very precious time, making mother more protective and attached to the child.
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Post by Huini Hellen »

I equally assert that motherhood is very challenging and often depressing, especially if not handled well. But then, one cannot really claim that there's one one standard way that a mother should conduct herself. This noble task requires resilience and determination and probably acceptance, just like Lena's resolute desire to accept her inadequacies.
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Post by The_Vivian »

Motherhood as many have said is a life long school that doesn't come with an instruction manual. However, it is very challenging and I believe that the only way we succeed at it is by taking the lessons one day at a time. This minute you might get it wrong but you always have the next minute to try and make it right, and truth is, there is never an easy way out. Also, treating two children differently because of the fear of repeating some mistakes almost never turns out well because what you think is a guide today may turn into a whole new ball game tomorrow. It is therefore not an easy task, and finding out what is best to do right now depends on your understanding of a particular child, not your experience. Because I can categorically say that experience is not the best teacher when it comes to parenting as one man's food can turn out to be another man's poison tomorrow.
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Post by Kreads1 »

Aishwarya Chhabra wrote: 10 Sep 2020, 15:14 Motherhood plays a more prominent role in Kalayla. Maureen faces the daily challenge and complexity of raising Kalayla on her own. Their tempestuous mother-daughter relationship triggers uneasy memories and regrets in Lena about the way she raised her own four boys. At some point while raising their kids, many mothers like Lena and Maureen, ask themselves: What could I or what should I have done differently? And what do I do now?
What can be the inferences?
Actually, I feel like Lena felt this way for quite some time, and when she saw Kalayla struggling she was inclined to help her. At first, I don't think she did this consciously in order to over come the feelings she had regarding her own children, but if I recall Lena does at some point state that she hopes in helping Kalayla she is doing something she couldn't do for her boys. Lena's character, in my opinion, undergoes the most evolution in Kalayla. She goes from being dressed in all black, trapped in a state of despair and mourning, to a woman who is once again seizing the day and content with life.

On a personal note, as a parent there are times I ask myself if I have made the right parenting decisions, and how those decisions led to "XYZ", but there is no sure fire way to raise children. What works for one parent, child, or family may not work for another. In the end I respect the decisions parents make, becuase they are often hard ones.
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Post by Luluwa79 »

Scerakor wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 08:14
Laura Mich wrote: 16 Sep 2020, 06:29 Motherhood is like trying out a new recipe. You add or omit one ingredient and you end up cooking a dish different from what you expected. Learning from the past mistakes helps you improve on your kitchen skills and prepare a better dish the the previous. Motherhood is a blessing and a malediction in disguise. Lena helped Maureen to ensure her bitter history doesn't repeat itself.
I really like that analogy. We, as parents, may think that we are just changing one minor detail in our parenting style from one child to another, but an entirely different result occurs. This is partially nurture, but likely has a bit of nature as well. Like you mentioned, Lena helped Maureen to ensure her bitter history doesn't repeat itself. This, unfortunately is not always the case in that those that have troubled pasts are often more likely to repeat those same mistakes. That shows the importance of this kind of external influence.
There's a saying that those that refuse to learn from experience learn their lesson the hard way. Maureen Learned her lesson from the experience of Lena.
Always seek God in all your dealings and He will help you find the right path.
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Post by Faithy_Goody_Star »

Truly, being a single parent isn't a walk in the park. This also applies to two parents. And of course, one cannot even know a pattern of raising kids that will work perfectly. You just have to be changing patterns at different points to arrive at one that best suits you and your kids.
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Post by mustaharleena »

From conception to rearing a child to moulding them for a good life, motherhood is not a simple task. A mother undergoes a lot of changes both physically and emotionally in raising a child. The mother has no time for herself in trying to make sure her child has a good life, like in the case of Maureen, who works so hard to provide for Kalayla while depriving herself and Kalayla the quality time together as mother and daughter. In the case of Lena,who finds fault in her former parenting skills towards her sons, we see her wanting to make amends through Kalayla. Motherhood is the greatest joy of life that no woman would wish to miss out on, except those who don't understand it. I learnt a lot in the story that I can use to improve my own parenting skills.
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