Leaving Behind Trauma

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
Ohna Martin
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Re: Leaving Behind Trauma

Post by Ohna Martin »

Dreamer80 wrote: 22 Sep 2020, 15:19 Mark was most definitely protecting his own self by staying away from his parents as they had mentally left a mark upon him. Even though his father had died, he held his mother just as accountable
This is true, his mother is just as much to blame as his father because she kept quiet about all this. It would be traumatic for anyone. He does not have a place to return to, because he could never be himself he felt uncomfortable calling any place home.
Cocobutta
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Post by Cocobutta »

Dman_1996 wrote: 19 Sep 2020, 22:08 Mark stayed away from home because he was gay and did not want to embarrass the family. I think his main reason for not coming to visit Lena is because he still has trauma from his father suppressing his true feelings and how his mother allowed his father to behave that way towards him. Bad memories are all he has of home and he was looking for a place where he belonged.

Why do you think Mark stayed away from home?
I strongly agree with this perspective. Even when someone does not directly inflict trauma on a person, their action or lack of action could contribute to the trauma. I think this is the case with Lena and Mark.
Jerry Anozie
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Post by Jerry Anozie »

Well, I wouldn't blame mark he needed a place he would be accepted the way he is. Because staying in a place where he is not accepted could affect his mental health.
Odindi Omo
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Post by Odindi Omo »

I believe he just wasn't proud of how he found himself to be gay. I mean, the mean guy, his dad, was dead. He could have come back to home he was proud of who he is now.
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Hazel Mae Bagarinao
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Post by Hazel Mae Bagarinao »

Damian Keyes wrote: 19 Sep 2020, 22:08 Mark stayed away from home because he was gay and did not want to embarrass the family. I think his main reason for not coming to visit Lena is because he still has trauma from his father suppressing his true feelings and how his mother allowed his father to behave that way towards him. Bad memories are all he has of home and he was looking for a place where he belonged.

Why do you think Mark stayed away from home?
I think that's the main reason. He wants to stay away so he won't remember the trauma he experienced at home. That's the bad side of his father - not accepting his son for who he was.
Unique Mary Iloakasia
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Post by Unique Mary Iloakasia »

Everyone deals with trauma differently. I do think why Mark never came home was because he didn't trust his mother.
Agbata Trust
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Post by Agbata Trust »

Honestly, I don't know what to say in this scenario because Mark being a gay could also be a trauma to his parents. And him not getting the necessary love is also a trauma to him. The best was for him to find his kind. It pains though.
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