OnlineBookClub.org

I think Mark stayed away from home, in part, due to what you said. His father certainly would not have approved of his sexual orientation. That opinion probably extended to people attached to the family business and perhaps he didn't want to cause problems for the company. I just don't understand why he didn't reach out to his mom and explain what was going on after his dad died. I think she would have been understanding and less hurt by his decision to stay away from his hometown.

It was clear that Mark was living in fear. To his defense, the description of his childhood community made it sound like a very difficult place to live. Everyone had to live up to everyone else's expectations. The book is themed around discrimination; race, gender, socioeconomic. Mark's story also shows that it is also about gender orientation discrimination.

Dman_1996 wrote: ↑19 Sep 2020, 22:08 Mark stayed away from home because he was gay and did not want to embarrass the family. I think his main reason for not coming to visit Lena is because he still has trauma from his father suppressing his true feelings and how his mother allowed his father to behave that way towards him. Bad memories are all he has of home and he was looking for a place where he belonged.

Why do you think Mark stayed away from home?

I totally agree with this. I also wanted to add that maybe the memories for home may have been to strong for him to be willing to come visit. It served as a reminder for all the trauma he had to endure. Along with that, maybe he knew that all those years Lena wasn't ready to acknowledge that he was gay. Maybe he was waiting to come back until he knew that Lena was ready to know.

Mark stayed away from home because he was scared of what Lena would think of him. He feared that Lena would not accept him for who he is.

I think Mark felt that if he came back his mother would not accept him as gay and that he would have embarassed the family.

Mark always hid his sexuality from his family because of shame, and possible violent retribution from his father. I think this fear and confusion made Mark unsure as to how his mother would react. Perhaps he thought Lena would reject him too and thus decided to stay away from them.

At first I couldn't understand why Mark left, and given his anger issues I thought he must have become a criminal. I'm so relieved that wasn't the case. I wish Lena knew what was going on from the start and would protect him. I'm glad he left and got the love and support he needed. Lena's kids turned out to be better than expected and I'm happy about that.

I think Mark knew the hate and ostracism he would have had to endure back home. Not only from his dad and some of his family, but even his community. He wanted a clean slate where he could be happy and live an authentic life.

I think he stayed away because he thought that Lena would be as ashamed of him as his father would have been. Though she loved her children, it was ultimately Joey who made the decisions, even about the sports they played. Joey repressing Lena and her opinions, and her children being oblivious to it, must have made them both look like a team to them. So, I think Mark and JJ both must have thought that it was better to cut off Lena from Mark's life, than telling her about his being gay and seeing her disappointed.

Ruchi Raina wrote: ↑12 Jun 2021, 07:54 I think he stayed away because he thought that Lena would be as ashamed of him as his father would have been. Though she loved her children, it was ultimately Joey who made the decisions, even about the sports they played. Joey repressing Lena and her opinions, and her children being oblivious to it, must have made them both look like a team to them. So, I think Mark and JJ both must have thought that it was better to cut off Lena from Mark's life, than telling her about his being gay and seeing her disappointed.

That definitely makes sense. I just wish Lena had been more involved in her children's lives instead of being a passive observer who knows something is wrong but does nothing to change it. Maybe she could have defied Joey secretly and tried to talk to her kids and understand what was actually going on rather than assuming they were like Joey.

Lena's thoughts after Mattwo told him about Mark implies that Joey would have killed him had he found out he was gay, and that JJ had been protecting him all along because nothing got by Joey. When Mark told Lena he'd visit if he could, Lena shook her head and said, "JJ tracks the undercurrents more than I do, if he's told you, 'Not yet' it would be best to wait. There's no point in taking unnecessary chances." I believe he didn't tell Lena because he didn't know what her reaction would be.

I think Mark didn't want to return home due to all that he passed through while he was still young. The idea of him not going back since he was gay also makes sense since he didn't know if he would still be accepted by his mother.

I believe it was a combination of many reasons. While it is said that all the 'boys' loved their father, Mark must have felt uncomfortable with his father and his many ideals. Mark may have blamed Lena, or at least felt a small amount of resentment but we don't really know for sure. JJ's asking to staying away from home might have given the initial idea to Mark, but I think that Mark himself might have seen the benefits of a fresh start.

Despite all this, I still think both Lena and Mark could have tried to reach out to each other a lot earlier. But I'm just glad things all worked out in the end.

I would have to disagree on this one. I think Mark indeed stayed away because of his family legacy and what his family members would say of his life choice. For some families, like that of mark, the family legacy means everything. And just like we saw when Lena told her mother about her situation with her husband, the family business is more important in their family than personal convenience and satisfaction.

For Mark home was a source of fear and sadness. As a human being, he wanted peace and happiness. He did the right thing by prioritising his mental health.