Selfishness vs selflessness

Use this forum to discuss the September 2020 Book of the month, " "Kalayla" by Jeannie Nicholas.
Gabriella H
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Re: Selfishness vs selflessness

Post by Gabriella H »

I think Maureen was a bit (or well, a lot) of a scatter-head. She was all over the place and she hadn't really gotten to know herself before she jumped into a marriage and had a child. As a result, she ended up feeling overwhelmed and incapable. I think she couldn't fully be there for Kalayla because she hadn't gotten to know herself, was carrying around her own baggage and feelings of not being good enough after being disowned by her family, and she was overwhelmed.

I believe she loved her daughter and in the book she often worried about her and how to raise her.
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Post by Oyedele Tomijane »

Maureen was just a child herself. She married young, had a husband who supported her no matter what, but when she lost everything, I believe she rose to the challenge. She definitely had a difficult time coping with Jamal's death, but she worked multiple jobs and even set aside "Sunday bonding time" for her daughter. I don't believe she was ever selfish. Sure, she wasn't always mature in how she handled things, but she was never selfish.
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Post by Akangbe Opeyemi »

Mauren truly was not a typical mother, she seems to be too focus in just her own shell and life without much thoughts about her child. Though she loves Kalayla, she had no idea of how to show it. She was too engrossed in her grief that it added to her inefficiency. I didn't really like her character, she didn't portray any motherly character
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Post by Chinazo Anozie »

JHING Estanislao wrote: 03 Jul 2021, 02:00 Maureen was consumed by her great love for Jamal that she married young and became a mother thereafter. After the sudden death of Jamal, she became a shell of a person just trying to survive. For eleven years, she just grieved for the love of her life that she forgot to bring-up the life of her own daughter. She worked tirelessly to provide food, education and shelter; but there is a great absence of deep love. Rarely did I see an encounter in the book in which Maureen tried to think of what would make her child really happy.

Was this because she was a young mother and not yet prepared for the challenges life threw at her or was this denial of responsibilities?
I think it's just her personality and the fact she always had people taking care of her, first her parents and then Jamal because even before Jamal's death, there were times when she would be so engrossed in her paintings that Kalayla and Jamal would be left to fend for themselves.
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Post by Manas Ranjan Mishra »

No doubt Maureen loved her daughter Kalayla. But i agree with the opinion that she was overwhelmed. Maybe she could have tried more with her own family to reach an agreement and could have taken more time. Anyway, she's a strong woman.
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Post by jimmy02 »

I think, Maureen marrying young, becoming a mother and then her losing Jamal happened all too quickly for her to get on terms with. She seems to be grappling at things (like her forced Sunday 'family times') till Lena's arrival.

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Post by Berry_ »

I think she did not really deal well with Jamal's death. Moreover, I think that lack of a partner and being the breadwinner makes her neglect or forget some things. I think it emphasizes how being a single parent is not easy.
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Post by Samuel Mamo »

It was because she was a young mother who was not raised strong. The way she was raised and the way Jamal treated her made her weak as there was a lot to guard her.
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Post by Shillah Andeso »

I don't think much about Maureen's character. I live in an African home and am used to parents mainly working to just provide for their children. I however think that she tried her best with raising Kalayla with the little knowledge she had of parenting.
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Post by fire_spice »

JHING Estanislao wrote: 03 Jul 2021, 02:00 Maureen was consumed by her great love for Jamal that she married young and became a mother thereafter. After the sudden death of Jamal, she became a shell of a person just trying to survive. For eleven years, she just grieved for the love of her life that she forgot to bring-up the life of her own daughter. She worked tirelessly to provide food, education and shelter; but there is a great absence of deep love. Rarely did I see an encounter in the book in which Maureen tried to think of what would make her child really happy.

Was this because she was a young mother and not yet prepared for the challenges life threw at her or was this denial of responsibilities?
Maureen was struggling with a lot, struggling to cope. I think she did everything she could humanly possibly do for Kalayla given the tough situation they were in. Some times we need a helping hand and Maureen needed that not just with raising Kalalya but with taking control of her life too.
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Post by Moneybag »

I really can't lay a finger on what was really wrong with Maureen. I think she really neglected Kalayla so much. I understand that she was exposed to the reality of life so suddenly but I am sure were ever Jamal was he would have wished Maureen did more for thier only Daughter.
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Post by Glorious Jack »

I think Maureen did the best that she could, given the circumstances. She was just recovering from the loss of her husband. She had more responsibilities to think about. She did not have a support system, cause I believe in the saying, it takes a village to raise a child. She did not have a good example of what being a mother entailed.
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Post by Emilia Kvatchadze »

I believe that Maureen was trying her best to raise kalayla in the best way possible. However, I think her traumatizing past made it hard for her to give Kalayla 100% percent. I think Maureen was barely hanging on herself, and therefore it in some aspects was very hard for her to raise kalayla. I also believe that Maureen doubted herself in many aspects, which I think also made it harder for her to raise her daughter.
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Post by Donald Trust »

I wouldn't blame her for that, Maureen was loving coping with life after she lost Jamal was a lot to bear. Also, the responsibility that awaits her as much. I was glad she recognized that she hasn't been a good mum.
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Post by Ohna Martin »

JHING Estanislao wrote: 03 Jul 2021, 02:00 Maureen was consumed by her great love for Jamal that she married young and became a mother thereafter. After the sudden death of Jamal, she became a shell of a person just trying to survive. For eleven years, she just grieved for the love of her life that she forgot to bring-up the life of her own daughter. She worked tirelessly to provide food, education and shelter; but there is a great absence of deep love. Rarely did I see an encounter in the book in which Maureen tried to think of what would make her child really happy.

Was this because she was a young mother and not yet prepared for the challenges life threw at her or was this denial of responsibilities?
For someone in the same situation you have to think first of what is the basic need. Food, a house, basic daily needs that must be provided before we can start to think about anything else. It does not matter whether you are a young or old mother, basic needs first then everything else.
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