Review of Cant See Around Corners

[joshfee77]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Cant See Around Corners" by Josie Townsend.]

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2 out of 4 stars

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Can't See Around Corners is a supernatural thriller by Josie Townsend. Sharon and Annie are twins, the daughters of wealthy Australian couple Warren and Edna Karce. Having completed their university degrees, the two young women travel to Europe for an extended holiday. However, a bitter rivalry simmers beneath the surface of Sharon and Annie's relationship. While in Romania, Annie finds a mysterious pendant that was previously owned by Vlad the Impaler from Castle Dracula. Soon, the pendant's demonic influence starts a downward spiral in the lives of these two young women...

This book has a bold cover design featuring a few story elements to intrigue the reader. The conflict between the characters is entertaining, including the rivalry between the rich sisters and another pair of sisters in their social circle. Mean and self-centred, Sharon Karce has an acid tongue and no tact whatsoever. I disliked her and cheered when she got what she deserved, indicating strong character development. Townsend includes interesting information about the European destinations visited by the sisters, suggesting a passion for travel and exotic locations. She also features some gripping Slavic myths and legends. Overall, I enjoyed the book's plot and its supernatural elements. There are also a couple of erotic scenes for those who enjoy sex in their thrillers.

My main gripe with this book is the prose. The issues begin with a plethora of dialogue attributions. There are six different words used for "said" on the first page alone. Intrigued, I decided to list them all down. In the first 50 pages, I saw no less than 68 distinct attributions, from the weird ("conversed", "initiated", and "emitted") to the outright nonsensical ("buzzed", "irked", "miffed", "shined", and "signposted"). A character can be miffed (or irked) but they can't "miff" or "irk" their dialogue. The author seemed to be trying to impress me with her vocabulary instead of just telling a great story.

There are other odd word choices in this book, too. Townsend often tries too hard with her descriptive prose. Occasionally, she even says the opposite of what she means: "Annie retired to a quiet area of the parlor and watched Sharon and Tony dancing cheek to cheek as the music slowed down to a romantic cavort." To cavort is to jump around excitedly, so it doesn't accurately describe a romantic slow dance. Similarly, one character says another looks like "the cat that swallowed the canary" when they appear sorrowful; however, the phrase means smug or self-satisfied.

Many of Townsend's sentences are long and complicated. Can't See Around Corners ultimately reads like a first draft in need of editing. There is also some bizarre description: "The mist of her breath reverberated like dragon smoke while she contemplated taking the life that stood before her as her continual sonic wails rang vibrantly in the ears of the posing challenger." Aside from the inaccuracy of associating reverberation (a sonic characteristic) with smoke (a silent phenomenon), the "sonic wails" are a woman's screams in the face of a prison guard; I don't understand why he was described as a "posing challenger" as if they were gladiators facing off in the Roman Colosseum.

The dialogue also sounds unnatural at times. If the dialogue stands out, it's usually for the wrong reasons. Good stories that are told well just flow. This book also contains punctuation errors and some other minor errors. Dialogue from a new speaker doesn't always start a new paragraph, and the occasional lack of paragraph gaps for scene changes is confusing, especially when the story shifts between different countries.

I have rarely been so conflicted when rating a book. Townsend's great story and solid research are let down by unwieldy prose and bizarre vocabulary. My advice as a fellow Stephen King fan is to keep it simple. Aside from his amazing storytelling prowess, King's biggest appeal to the average reader is that he writes in simple English, using interesting words only when necessary. I did enjoy the story, however, so I rate Can't See Around Corners 2 out of 4 stars. With input from a professional editor, it would be worth 3 stars. I feel that fans of supernatural and crime thrillers would enjoy this book. However, in its current form, it is a frustrating read.

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Cant See Around Corners
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[Patty Allread]

Your comments about the prose would be enough to stop me from reading this book. I noticed even the title of the book has an error. There is a missing apostrophe in "cant." I hope the author can generate more confidence, so she writes less dramatically and in her own voice, i.e., how she speaks.

[Amy Luman]

You make a great case for reading this novel, after editing. While all of the problems that you stated will probably keep me from reading this book, I am intrigued by the story.

[Phil Akor]

I was drawn to the review because of the rating. It is sad that you found problems that didn’t let you enjoy your read. I’m sure if the book is improved, it’ll be a great book to read.

[joshfee77]

Your comments about the prose would be enough to stop me from reading this book. I noticed even the title of the book has an error. There is a missing apostrophe in "cant." I hope the author can generate more confidence, so she writes less dramatically and in her own voice, i.e., how she speaks.

Great comment, thanks! Writing in natural-sounding prose without affectation is a skill that can be honed with practice. Unfortunately, any sort of pretension in your writing usually stands out like a sore thumb, as in this case. Just being yourself in your writing is definitely a good start!

[joshfee77]

You make a great case for reading this novel, after editing. While all of the problems that you stated will probably keep me from reading this book, I am intrigued by the story.

Thanks! It is definitely a frustrating read in its current form. I wouldn't read it again. However, the story is good.

[joshfee77]

I was drawn to the review because of the rating. It is sad that you found problems that didn’t let you enjoy your read. I’m sure if the book is improved, it’ll be a great book to read.

Yep, I think every book needs an editor, even when the author thinks it doesn't. No, scratch that - ESPECIALLY when the author thinks it doesn't. Thanks for commenting!

[NetMassimo]

Sometimes, style can become a burden when it overshadows the story's substance. A shame considering that this novel seems to have great potential with its great story. Thank you for your honest review!