Official Review: Seed of Evil: An Ancient Evil Rises

[npandit]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Seed of Evil: An Ancient Evil Rises" by Robert Friedrich.]

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Seed of Evil is an action story set in the year 2147, that follows the journey of a marine, Corey, who is sent on a search and rescue mission to Mars with a group of marines (who have very funny back stories that are briefly and cleverly mentioned in the story's beginning). At the start of the novel, Corey lies on a hospital bed severely injured, and recounts his mission to a representative from the "Global Union Authority" who is trying to figure out what went wrong. The book then turns into a flashback to Corey's experiences starting from forming the team of marines, to encountering the “Evil” that lurks on Mars, and his miraculous escape.

The book is very fast-paced, going from one action sequence to another, and is very visual. The experience of reading this book is like a cross between watching an action movie and watching someone play a video game. It's quick and easy to read, and never gets overly dull.

However, my enjoyment of the book was completely obscured by its biggest, most glaring flaw: the author very clearly has not used a decent editor.

In the first few pages, the narrative switches between past tense and present tense freely. Instead of using minor descriptive information to indicate who is speaking, the quotes usually end with something like “said Hoffman”, or “thought Corey”, even when it’s not needed because it’s obvious who is speaking or thinking. There are many basic syntax errors throughout the book. For example, one sentence reads:

" ‘It was supposed to be a routine mission…’ narrated Corey his thoughts.”

And some of the narrative feels as though an enthusiastic teenager is describing an action film:

"Hailstone took out two more Siks but then ran out of ammo."

Often, the author’s attempt at creating drama gets muddled in the amateurish writing style:

“He froze in caution and stared, stared right through a hole in the visor of a blood-soaked helmet.”;

“Exhausted, Corey was unable to reach the bag in time; hence, he struggled to get out of the Buggy.”;

“There was blood on nearly every surface; however, there were no bodies; none at all.”

Another element that doesn't work in this story is the fact that it reads like a film script. The author uses italics in between action scenes to signify that the present-day Corey is still recalling his memories while in the hospital, much like a voice over—a structural element that usually works very well in films, and may, if done correctly, work in a book--but here, the interruptions become comical, rather than dramatic. The author doesn’t use his medium to its fullest extent—most of the scenes are described visually, as if you are watching them play out on the screen. But without the benefit of actually getting to see what is going on, much of what you read is lacking. The narration, for instance, hardly gives any insight into the main character's individual traits or personality. There is little information about the setting of the story outside of what you might see if watching a film. Though some of the dialogue between the characters is funny, there are virtually no physical descriptions of them, and each marine’s voice seems to blend in with every other’s indistinctly. The descriptions of feelings, too, only focus on the visual: rather than describing how Corey may feel victorious, for instance, he is only described as having a ‘smirk’ on his face. There is one part of the novel where Corey laments the death of a colleague with whom he was supposedly intimate (in yet another oddly structured sentence):

“A vision of Hailstone, and their intimate secret relationship and affection they shared for one another and then seeing her smile right before she got wounded behind the blast door separating them forever.”

--and nothing of their relationship is ever mentioned before or after these lines, much like it may have been in a film. It is one thing to write a book that is inspired in some part by film sequences, but in trying to completely overlap one medium's storytelling method onto the other, the book feels rushed and incomplete.

The supernatural conflicts that the protagonist faces and the eventual resolution of the novel are not unimaginative, but certainly far from original. The concept of the evil villain at the end is interesting and unique, but his lines are extremely clichéd. The creatures that Corey comes into contact with are described in vivid detail, but when both he and the reader encounter them for the first time ever—somehow magically—Corey, in his narration of the story, refers to them all by name.

"The whole creature seemed bizarre as it was deadly, we encountered – a “Sik”."

It reminded me of video games in which random villains jump out at you from shadowy corners, with their names popping up helpfully on the screen to identify them. If there had been some background information that established this universe, the aliens, and the setting earlier in the story, the action scenes wouldn't have had to be interrupted to painstakingly describe the aliens, or bluntly assign them names.

Despite all these flaws in structure and its somewhat juvenile execution; amazingly, I actually thought the book was entertaining. It would have been made much more so, however, if either it was converted into a parody of an action film, an actual action film, or a video game script.

I cannot recommend this book, in its current form, to anyone, because it looks more like a rough draft than a final product. In this book, the author’s intrinsic storytelling talents and strengths are clearly evident. But without furious editing, even the best writers appear sloppy. If the author takes this review as constructive criticism, and uses some of this as feedback to improve his storytelling, his work will be a delight to read (or watch) and will likely do very well. However, in its current state, I cannot give this book more than a 1 out of 4.

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