Official Review: Wendy Won't Go by Amanda M. Lyons

[PashaRu]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Wendy Won't Go" by Amanda M. Lyons.]

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A recent work by horror/paranormal author Amanda M. Lyons, Wendy Won’t Go is the story of a father and his daughter haunted and menaced by “Wendy.” She literally haunts them for years, and is by no means a beneficent ghost. And Wendy won’t go. Why does she haunt them? Will they ever be free from her? Ah, no spoilers.

We are first introduced to Billy, a writer who works from home. His daughter Sarah resembles her mother - her mother, Billy’s now-dead wife, Wendy. And Wendy visits them often, a strange, misshapen version of her former self. She never speaks, just stares with cold, angry eyes. Thus begins this tale of horror and the supernatural. A frightening and sinister event follows, and then the narrative takes us back to the time before Wendy’s death, and gives us some insight into Wendy’s strange and regular visits since her passing. Without giving anything away, this portion of the story is very well written, containing some disturbing imagery and suspense which will play on the nerves of the more squeamish, but you’ll keep reading anyway.

There are only three characters in the story: Billy, Sarah, and Wendy. The character of Billy is well developed for a short story. We are allowed to see his concerns, worries, fears, sadness, and loneliness. We feel pathos for his character; even as we are repulsed by the evil which has infiltrated his life, we are allowed to feel sorry for him because of what he lost, and what his once dear and loving wife has become. The character of Sarah is less developed; we don’t get to know her as well. This is not necessarily a weakness in the story, but knowing her better would perhaps have added more layers to the story and given more impact to the ending. Wendy remains a mystery, as well she should.

The narrative moves along quickly and holds the reader’s attention. My ebook comes in at 16 pages, so it can easily be read in one sitting. There are no unnecessary details; no long, drawn-out descriptions; nothing to impede the narrative from speeding along to its climactic conclusion. There are several places in the story where the suspense is quite good; you’ll be reading with the swiftness of a gazelle to find out what’s going to happen. This is really the strength of the story and of Ms. Lyons’ writing. I didn’t find the story very frightening – although, admittedly, I’m not easily frightened. After finishing, I could easily turn the light off, roll over, and sleep like a baby. Nothing here to keep me up at night.

Of course, we are offered an explanation for the strange goings-on in Billy’s house, for the haunting, and for the final climax of the story. I suppose there is no concrete explanation possible for such fictitious, paranormal hocus-pocus, but the explanation furnished was, for me, less than completely satisfying. I still had a few “whys” in my mind after it was all said and done.

Ms. Lyons is a capable writer. I was glad to see no run-on sentences, no bad grammar, no improper punctuation. These days, it seems that it is becoming rarer to find writers who can actually express ideas skillfully and effectively. Which is why the next point is unfortunate, but maybe I’m just being picky:

There are, what seem to me, arbitrary and unnecessary changes in verb tense (past & present) throughout the story. This is not wrong in itself; it can be an effective literary device. With Ms. Lyons’ skill as a writer, I can hardly believe this was an accident. These changes in tense don’t seem to have any rhyme or reason. For me, they don’t add anything to the narrative. If anything, they detract and distract from it. For example:

“He walked past the bookshelf and through the doorway. He and Sarah’s rooms are up above. With an effort he resisted the urge to look back down the hall to see if she has followed.” Walked, are, resisted, has. Why different tenses? I’m not sure.

Another:

“At first he hoped that it was only this; that somehow the pain had been too strong and that was all, but the truth is all too clear as she rocks back in the bed.” Hoped, had been, was, is, rocks. Again, why the change in tense? The next sentence is past tense, but subsequent sentences in this same paragraph contain mixed tenses. One paragraph, later in the story, contains all past tense verbs except one. I’m not a stickler for rules; any literary device, if it adds to the effectiveness of the narrative, is okay with me. Break the rules. Be creative. However, the changes in tense, which occur so frequently in this story, don’t contribute anything helpful to the narrative.

Okay, enough griping.

Wendy Won’t Go is well-written and suspenseful. I give it 3 out of 4 stars. I can’t say it won’t scare you. Maybe it will. Maybe you will be more satisfied with the end than I was. It wasn’t the ending itself that I was slightly disappointed with, but the explanations given for the spooky goings-on in the story. For me, it just didn’t all add up to a nice, logical, sensible package. Like a Scooby-Doo episode. But maybe it’s not supposed to. Maybe leaving a dash of mystery is what will keep some readers awake at night.

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[npandit]

Great review!

[PashaRu]

Great review!

Thank you!

[TrishaAnn92]

This sounds like a really interesting story! I am gonna have to check it out!

[PashaRu]

It's a good read, overall. I'm an English teacher, so I probably pay more attention to aspects of writing style than most. I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse.

[TrishaAnn92]

I can understand. I tend to notice style and errors more than most. Hence why I got into reviewing and have even started taking steps to get into copy editing. I think it can be a curse when there really isn't a lot of errors in a book like you see with a lot of these e-books coming out.

[PashaRu]

I've often thought that copy editing would be interesting. What are you doing to get into it?

[TrishaAnn92]

Actually an author that went through this site contacted me because I had mentioned there were a lot of errors in his book and I reread the book I had reviewed and sent him a list of the errors I found and then he asked me to copy edit a book for him before it was published after that.

I'm still looking at how to get more into since it would be a good job being a stay at home mom.

[PashaRu]

Cool! I've "criticized" spelling/grammar/punctuation in some my reviews. Ha, maybe I'll hear from one of the authors if they're not too mad at me.

[TrishaAnn92]

I definitely feel blessed to have been given the opportunity. My name is both the books he has out. His stories are fascinating though. Definitely good reads I think.

[gali]

Thank you for the lovely review. I don't like books that short, so I will pass.

I also don't like unnecessary changes in verb tense and typos bother me as well. The last few books that I have reviewed were ok on this front. I did mention in some of my other reviews the errors in them.

Trisha, good luck!

[PashaRu]

Thank you for the lovely review. I don't like books that short, so I will pass.

I also don't like unnecessary changes in verb tense and typos bother me as well. The last few books that I have reviewed were ok on this front. I did mention in some of my other reviews the errors in them.

Trisha, good luck!

Thanks Gali It's more like a short story, and I enjoy short stories in between longer reads. I usually don't read this genre, so it was interesting to me. Changing verb tense is a stylistic choice; if it contributes to the narrative in some way, I'm okay with it. When it's too frequent and/or arbitrary it annoys me. Typos, bad grammar, improper punctuation, etc., are quite a different story. These are not choices but mistakes. I don't have a lot of tolerance for that.

[gali]

Thank you for the lovely review. I don't like books that short, so I will pass.

I also don't like unnecessary changes in verb tense and typos bother me as well. The last few books that I have reviewed were ok on this front. I did mention in some of my other reviews the errors in them.

Trisha, good luck!

Thanks Gali It's more like a short story, and I enjoy short stories in between longer reads. I usually don't read this genre, so it was interesting to me. Changing verb tense is a stylistic choice; if it contributes to the narrative in some way, I'm okay with it. When it's too frequent and/or arbitrary it annoys me. Typos, bad grammar, improper punctuation, etc., are quite a different story. These are not choices but mistakes. I don't have a lot of tolerance for that.

Good morning (or evening) to you!

I see. Short stories aren't my cup of tea, but I may read them if they are good.

Since English is my second language, I am more "tolerant" on such mistakes. However, It does bother me if there are too many errors in the book.

[TrishaAnn92]

Thanks also gali I agree I am not a huge fan of short stories but if they really pique my interest I will read them. I love long books though.

[PashaRu]

To Gali:

I certainly didn't mean to imply that I look critically at anyone that doesn't speak/write English perfectly. I teach English as a second language, and almost every day I am in contact with people who make mistakes when they speak. I applaud and appreciate their efforts. I speak Russian, but not perfectly all the time (it is my second language), so I am not unsympathetic.

But I think that when someone chooses to write and publish a book in English, he should take reasonable steps to ensure that the language is used "properly"; that is, that grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors are eliminated (unless they are intended for stylistic reasons). Being a good author is one thing, being a good editor is quite another skill set.