Official Review: The Theory Of Nothing by Adam Walker

[H0LD0Nthere]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Theory Of Nothing" by Adam Walker.]

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The Theory of Nothing is a farcical romp set in England. It is named for Joseph Nothing, the protagonist, whose sadistic criminal brother Victor drags him into a wild goose chase that will range through the circles of organized crime, academia, hip young artists, an illegal hospital, a fake Chinese restaurant, and a Japanese wonder worker named Horenzo who makes the best sushi no one has ever heard of. And all this is in pursuit of a flash drive on which is saved the Theory of Everything, a mathematical formula that unifies all theories of physics and might make space travel possible.

The book is intricately plotted. The author does a fine job of expositing the mysteries and misunderstandings, all while whirling us through the action, which basically consists of a motley group of characters stampeding back and forth across the stage, screaming and cussing as their crisis keeps sprouting new hydra heads every few minutes. There are many funny moments. If you enjoyed Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, or if you enjoy P.G. Wodehouse’s Bertie stories, you will probably enjoy this one. Although it is not quite as good as theirs, for reasons I will describe below.

Much of the book’s humor is found in the dialogue. The dialogue in the first third of the book is just terrific. The author plays off the difference between nervous academic Simon, and the quick, crude, and stressed-out Joseph. There is plenty of action even in this section, but after that point, the action really picks up, and continues nonstop from there. That’s when the cussing starts.

Almost all of the characters have really foul mouths. In the last two-thirds of the book, I would estimate that they average about two f-bombs a page … and that’s not counting the other four-letter words (both milder and fouler). For most of the book, Simon is the only character onstage who does not pepper his conversation with really bad words. Also, all of them scream all the time. Any character, at any moment (including Simon), might choose to utter his thoughts in a yell, scream, or shriek. Granted, the action is fast and there are plenty of life-and-death moments, but still. All this is wearing on the reader.

The ubiquity of foul language, paradoxically, undermines the colorfulness of the various characters. I will take just one example (and I don’t think this will constitute a spoiler, because there are so many twists and turns in this book, there is no way you could spoil it). At one point, some of the characters have to go to a “hospital” that turns out to be an unofficial hospital, serving mostly illegal aliens and others who need urgent medical help, but don’t want to attract official attention. This hospital’s doctor, when he shows up, is quick, abrasive, doesn’t want to know anyone’s name, and (you guessed it), has a tendency to bully his patients while screaming cusswords. Now, all of this should be delightfully shocking and funny. And it almost is … but not quite, because everyone else in the room is also screaming cusswords and trying to take control of the situation.

In the case of Joseph, the cussing behavior makes him look ineffective. In the first third of the book, Joseph often drives the action. But as things get more complicated, Joseph’s default reaction to any new development becomes to scream you-know-what at the person nearest to him. Others suggest ideas, and Joseph yells at them to shut up …then decides to adopt the ideas. This does not make him a particularly relatable main character. It’s not a fatal flaw, as it would be in a more serious book, because this is after all a farce, and Joseph is more Bertie Wooster than James Bond. But it does give the impression that the author got a bit lazy and began to rely exclusively on shock and panic rather than using a variety of forms of humor.

There are frequent typos. One very common typo is the use of a participle (a verb with -ing), when a main verb is called for. The other one, which crops up quite a bit, is the accidental substitution of one character’s name for another. Detective Henry is Dean Charlie’s best friend. So why, when Henry is talking about Charlie, does the author so often call Henry Charlie? Luckily, if you are following the plot at all, you can spot these errors, so they will not lead to terminal confusion.

The book is well plotted and has a huge, terrific cast of characters, but because of the issues discussed, I can only give it three out of four stars.

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Buy "The Theory Of Nothing" on Amazon

[milyjohnson37]

This is an excellent review. Thanks so much for sharing.

[H0LD0Nthere]

Thank you!

[AdamWalker]

Hello. The writer, Adam Walker, here.

I just wanted to come on and say a huge thank you to H0LD0Nthere for being the first to review my story. Also, while I'm at it, a huge thank you to everyone out there for doing reviews like these. They are truly invaluable.

This is my first shot at writing a novel. To be honest, even though I've been tinkering with flash fiction and short stories for a few years this is pretty much the first time I've really shown someone outside my family any of my fiction.

As you can imagine, I was really nervous about reading my first review (despite my mum and wife assuring me it was brilliant) so this has made my day. Hell, it's made my year!

Like I said, this review is absolutely invaluable to me. I need to do two or three more read throughs to iron out those typos and the swearing, well, that's something I'm definitely guilty off. My potty mouth's been getting me in trouble since school.

But one of the main things I'm taking from this is encouragement. I'm lucky enough to be a very busy graphic designer and I pretty much only write in my lunch hour. I write because I love to do it but, sometimes, it can feel a little like an uphill struggle when there are 60,000 words to go. Next time I'm flagging, I can read this review again to remind myself that it's all worth it.

I'm working on my next book now. When it’s finished, I'll be reading through more thoroughly and I promise a lot less swearing.

[H0LD0Nthere]

Adam, I cannot believe that you wrote such a well-plotted book on your lunch hours. I think if you keep your promise about less swearing , the next one could be truly side-splitting. Please do persevere, and when you come out with your next one, I hope I'm the first to snap it up to review.

[npandit]

Great review. I don't mind reading swear words when it seems appropriate to the context, but having all the characters screaming in the same way does seem one-dimensional. Sounds like an interesting story, though.

[ALRyder]

Another wonderful review HOLDONthere! As for the swearing, I do know that it can overshadow wonderful characters, but one of my favorite authors has this same issue. Anyone ever noticed this with Stephen King? Just read "It" and I'm sure you'll catch on. With how good this book looks otherwise, it's definitely one to be added to the TBR list. I may wait a bit to actually buy it though, in the hopes that it's been more thoroughly cleansed of typos.