OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Southern Lace" by Tina Freelove-Haney.]

Southern Lace by Tina Freelove-Haney is a short novel in the mystery genre. Laci Dalton is a former detective who now runs her own private investigative agency, with her mother Lisbeth working as her assistant. She interviews a wealthy client, Gunner Hensley, who is convinced his pregnant wife Lisa wants to kill him. Although there is a $1 million prenuptial agreement, Lisa would receive all of his money plus a $10-million insurance policy if he dies. When Gunner is found shot to death that evening, Laci feels compelled to investigate his murder.

The characters are well drawn, for the most part. Laci is a confident 30-year-old woman who manages her own company. Her widowed mother Lisbeth is a cheerful sort who can be relied on to assist her daughter at work and at home. Even Laci’s dog Snoop is a cute addition to the story. He is a friendly companion as well as a fierce protector of both Laci and her mother.

For a relatively short read, the plot takes a while to get moving. The central plot is clear, but there isn’t much depth to the mystery. There isn’t a sense of urgency about the case. Laci is usually too busy chatting with her mother about the same routine things over and over - Laci’s sensitivity to Lisbeth calling Snoop a mutt, getting hot dogs, William coming by to set up the computer, making coffee, taking the dog out, etc. By the time I reached the halfway point, I started wondering when is something of interest going to happen already. The plot does pick up a bit and there are a few twists in the last third of the book.

There is a lot of tell vs. show in this story. Many conversations could easily have been edited in half. The author tends to repeat the same details multiple times within a few paragraphs, and again after that. For example, Laci tells her mother that she forgot to ask Gunner the name of his father’s company. A few sentences later, she says she is going to call him and see if he can tell her the name of the company. After another few short paragraphs, she says she is going to call and ask him the name of the company. Okay, it’s clear that she is going to find out the name of the company. Information doesn’t need to be clobbered over the head of the reader. Similar instances occur throughout the story.

The story lacks the tension you would expect in a mystery. The characters’ reactions seem unrealistic during events that would cause fear and apprehension in the average person. Right after certain action scenes take place, the characters chat and laugh with each other about ordinary, random things and appear fairly unfazed by what just happened.

The author would have benefitted greatly from the use of a good editor. The story is written in third person; at least, this appears to be the author’s main intention. However, there are inexplicable switches to Laci in the first person for a sentence or paragraph and then back to her in the third person. These switches also occur with Laci’s former detective partner Blaise and her mother Lisbeth. I have never seen this done in a book before and it is confusing and incorrect, to put it mildly.

There are numerous errors throughout the book. Several sentences are poorly worded, such as “So she went to get her a cup of coffee.” This should be either “So she went to get herself a cup of coffee” or “So she went to get a cup of coffee.” It’s not like she was getting another woman coffee, since the male client had already left and there is no mention of her mother/assistant requesting coffee. Frequently, there are inconsistent shifts in tense, sometimes within the same sentence. Other technical errors include the following: “Lisbeth told her mom” should be “Laci told her mom” since Laci is the one speaking to her mother Lisbeth. There are also passages of dialogue without quotation marks, even if it’s a character talking to the dog.

I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. While the characters are likeable, the writing needs improvement. The story had a few interesting twists along the way, but the plot is a little thin and the ending is so abrupt that I thought there might be missing pages. Fans of light mysteries might find this a fun read, but readers who enjoy a fuller plot should look elsewhere.

******
Southern Lace
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Thank you for the insightful and well written review. Too bad about the many flaws, as the premise seems pretty interesting.

Thanks Gali. I agree that the premise is intriguing. With some polishing of the writing and more depth, the "bones" are there for a good detective book series.

Fantastic review! You provided great feedback and well rounded critique. I strongly dislike when a book is repetitive and takes a long time to get to the point.

Thanks Bluemel. The story has so much potential.

Insightful review, as always. You clearly point out the book's flaws, and hopefully the author will use them to revise the book. The premise sounds good, but the execution seems very lacking.

Thanks Tanaya. This was a difficult review to write. It is my sincere hope that the author will take the criticism as constructive, particularly the technical errors.

Very constructive points of emphasis that you gave for the author to look at in a possible revision of the book. Excellent job on the review!

Thanks. The premise of the book was very good and could be the framework for an interesting series.

You are most welcome!

Great review. I wish I can write a review like this.

Thanks Valerie for the kind words and welcome to the forums!

That was a very honest review. The author seems to have a good idea in mind but needs to polish her writing skill.

kimmyschemy06 wrote:That was a very honest review. The author seems to have a good idea in mind but needs to polish her writing skill.

Thanks. It's always difficult to write a less than flattering review, even if the reasons are sound. It is my hope that the constructive criticism will be taken in the spirit in which it was given.