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Posted: **12 Jan 2021, 14:53**

One of the things that I found very striking was how sheltered and ignorant was Embon. I think this lesson also applies today, as a lot of parents think that is better to take care of every need or problem of the child, without taking into consideration his/ her future development. What would you have done differently? Do you think that if Embon had had a different upbringing he would have become a different man?

Posted: **13 Jan 2021, 05:20**

Of course the way we are raised up affects the way we turn out as adults. Another question is, if the result would be better or worse. Raising up children is a rather complicated issue

I can’t imagine what I would have done differently, since it is a different culture and a different era. Anyway, as a parent I think that solving every problem and filling every need of the child might not be the best way to go. The kids need to learn some survival skills and problem solving skills and they definitely won’t learn if they don’t ever have the opportunity for that. Giving challenges that match the child’s age and current skill level adds up with my philosophy better than sheltering the child from just about everything.

Posted: **13 Jan 2021, 11:01**

As much as I love Lady Sougyon as a character I would've done a ton of things differently. You can't allow your child, for example, to kick an elderly person just for the fun of it. And I think, as she was focused on Embon's academic success because he was a prodigy, she neglected other areas of his development. But, of course, it must've been incredibly hard to be a single mother at the time. What I applaud is that she left Embon to make his own opinion about his father, instead of badmouthing him.

Posted: **13 Jan 2021, 19:17**

I thought it shocking that his mother didn't discipline him as a young child. It would have been poorly looked at by other members of his society. Still he grew into a well mannered young man. As for his father I was glad he recognized him for what he was.

Posted: **13 Jan 2021, 21:21**

I didn't agree with Lady Sougyon's parenting myself. I also agree that as parents we can't solve every problem for our children or they will become the spoiled brat Embon was at the beginning of the story. Unless she changed her parenting methods and it wasn't mentioned, I find it very unrealistic that he turned into such a great student. Part of the fun in reading fiction I guess

Posted: **14 Jan 2021, 05:12**

Swirliegirlie wrote: ↑13 Jan 2021, 21:21 I didn't agree with Lady Sougyon's parenting myself. I also agree that as parents we can't solve every problem for our children or they will become the spoiled brat Embon was at the beginning of the story. Unless she changed her parenting methods and it wasn't mentioned, I find it very unrealistic that he turned into such a great student. Part of the fun in reading fiction I guess

I agree with you, this was the fiction part

. We have a saying in our country, something that translates like "the seven years spent at home". If you have them, it means you are well-raised. I believe that education in the early years is crucial for the rest of your life.

Posted: **15 Jan 2021, 15:37**

Kirsi_78 wrote: ↑13 Jan 2021, 05:20 Of course the way we are raised up affects the way we turn out as adults. Another question is, if the result would be better or worse. Raising up children is a rather complicated issue I can’t imagine what I would have done differently, since it is a different culture and a different era. Anyway, as a parent I think that solving every problem and filling every need of the child might not be the best way to go. The kids need to learn some survival skills and problem solving skills and they definitely won’t learn if they don’t ever have the opportunity for that. Giving challenges that match the child’s age and current skill level adds up with my philosophy better than sheltering the child from just about everything.

My mother used to say that parents are always learning how to be parents since it is something that they have never experienced before. Sure, someone might have more than one children but that does not necessarily mean that what work for their first kid might work for another one. There is no formule for raising a child but I truly agree with you. If you solve every problem that you child might have or spoil them too much then they will grow into thinking that the world owes them something. As long as it his something that the children can solve on their own, it is the best to let them be.

Posted: **15 Jan 2021, 23:46**

Yes, I do think that Embon could be a better and stronger person if his upbringing was different. I think lady Sougyon really loved Embon and sheltered him so much because she suffered from a difficult marriage and she was just trying her best to protect Embon and give him so much love and care.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 04:19**

Lady Sougyon was very terrible at parenting if we're to be honest with ourselves. I feel that Embon would have turned out far way better than he did if she did good. Nevertheless, the subject 'nature vs nurture' still comes in play here. Although he wasn't nurtured quite properly, I think his nature eventually prevailed.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 05:41**

As much as I agree that discipline helps mould a child's character, I have seen children who just have a mind of their own. In fact, two siblings could act entirely differently. So, while there's a lesson for parents here, Embon's case is an extreme one that parents must strive to avoid.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 08:38**

This is a very sensitive issue because there is no universal way of parenting. I think its easy to say which way is better or worse for raising a child upon observation, but once we become parents ourselves, wanting to protect your child will be on top of our list. Still, in my opinion, it would be best to prepare them for the scary reality of life.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 14:03**

You can only do so much. Embon was raised well by his mother but still he lied about his whereabouts and went to fight for independence.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 14:26**

As a parent I can understand that parenting is different for different child and in different situations.
As a single mother, Sougyon did her best to pass on her good values to Embon, so he grew up to be a smart, mannerful young boy. Though it surprised me that as a child he kicked an elderly person. But overall his mother did a great job and I can ofcourse imagine that if I would have been in her place I would discipline Embon in the childhood too.
I liked the way she allowed Embon to create his individual opinion about his father.

Posted: **16 Jan 2021, 20:58**

The way a child is raised affects him/her very much in his adult life, and there is a biological example of what sheltering kids really does; children who have never been exposed to bacteria of any kind are extremely sensitive to it, but kids who play in the dirt are immune. I feel the same applies to how we guard kids against other things from the world.

Posted: **17 Jan 2021, 00:05**

It is absolutely important to bring up your children in the way you know best. With that being said, You can be an excellent role model and do all the right things but once the child gets to be a certain age they kind of go their own way and make their own decisions

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