A lesson for parents

Use this forum to discuss the January 2021 Book of the month, "The Vanished" by Pejay Bradley
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Betty Gitonga
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Re: A lesson for parents

Post by Betty Gitonga »

raluca_mihaila wrote: 12 Jan 2021, 14:53 One of the things that I found very striking was how sheltered and ignorant was Embon. I think this lesson also applies today, as a lot of parents think that is better to take care of every need or problem of the child, without taking into consideration his/ her future development. What would you have done differently? Do you think that if Embon had had a different upbringing he would have become a different man?
As a parent, you want the very best for your kids. But since they have no understanding of real life, the child can become spoilt. Embon had a childhood that was very sheltered, but he nevertheless became a responsible young man, which might not always be the case. In order to develop critical skills for adult life, children need to have exposure.
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Post by Mtracey »

I agree that it is often a parent will ignore their child's less desirable qualities, especially when they are young. When children are young and told their and behaviors are cute, they will continue to misbehave into adolescence and adulthood.
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Post by Mutai Marshal »

I will credit Lady Sougyon for her child's upbringing. This is because I believe Embon's other aspects of development could have been brilliantly complemented by a father figure in his life. This is, however, not to say that the lady was perfect.
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Post by tafta »

I believe the upbringing Embon received is nothing short of what a parent or parents should provide. It is a parent's sole responsibility to provide and shelter/protect their offspring to the best of their ability and understanding. Children at the end of the day are different. Deliberate exposure of children to harsh conditions to one may mould them well, but to another it may become their destruction.
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Post by Upeksha »

raluca_mihaila wrote: 12 Jan 2021, 14:53 One of the things that I found very striking was how sheltered and ignorant was Embon. I think this lesson also applies today, as a lot of parents think that is better to take care of every need or problem of the child, without taking into consideration his/ her future development. What would you have done differently? Do you think that if Embon had had a different upbringing he would have become a different man?
I also agree with your point. As I think children should be allowed to experience the world on their own and that is the only way parents can be assured that their children are grown into adults, who are able to take care of themselves.
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Post by Lalit_kendre14 »

Woman Sougyon was truly horrible at nurturing in case we're to be straightforward with ourselves. I feel that Embon would have turned out a far route in a way that is better than he in the event that she progressed admirably. By the by, the subject 'nature versus sustain' still becomes an integral factor here. In spite of the fact that he wasn't sustained appropriately, I think his temperament in the long run won.
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Post by natasha juhl »

Our parents are always very critical to our early development as people however we still ultimately become who we want to be. we can blame our parents for certain characteristics we inherit, however it is not the deciding factor on how our life is going to go. Embon may have had a slightly different outlook on life and might have had a few variable characteristics, however having different parents probably would not have completely changed her outcome.
“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” – Lemony Snicket
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Post by scaryeyes_25 »

As much as I don't like how Lady S decides on things for her and Embon, I cannot fault her much. Her own upbringing and their culture had a huge influence on how she acted. Although I was puzzled about Embon's turned about, I was just glad he did. One of the things I could teach Embon is to be independent. That is a skill that most kids today don't have. Some parents tend to solve problems for their kids, making them too dependent.
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Post by K+SQUARE »

Everyone is born to encounter and solve problems. Sheltering a child from life denies him/her the needed development for adulthood and the challenges when the person doing the sheltering is no longer around.
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Post by Etienneza »

Discipline needs to serve as a guide, perhaps. Children have unique needs and would be served best by guidance on case be case basis. Parenting 101 evolves with the family and with time. If a parent had difficulty herself in a certain area and have managed to triumph and understand her capabilities and limitations in particular area while in her parent's home ,she would be in an excellent place to offer advice. To the contrary , if the parent is a work in progress in the area where she now needs to parent, both child and parent might stand to learn if open to do so.
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Post by Faithy_Goody_Star »

The fact that one's upbringing affects their behavior is not even debatable. I'm certain Embon could have turned out far better. Regardless, his attitude when he grew older was good enough.
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Post by Ngozi Onyibor »

Before I became a parent, I had a textbook size of things I would or wouldn't do. But now that I am one, I have realized that there are no rules to it. One can only do the best they can and hope for the best. That being said, I don't think sheltering kids is a good idea. I believe it's important to expose them to different facets of the world in reasonable doses. It's simply impossible to shelter them forever.
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Post by GoodLuck ES »

Embon would most definitely have turned out differently had his parents not solved every of his problems. Letting children tackle some of their problems, without the help of the parents, helps them develop a thick skin against lives numerous challenges, and that ensures they don't get subdued so easily.

They acquire problem solving skills faster when they fix the problems theselves than when their parents help them fix it.

Again, the difficulty in coming up with solution to problems teach them wisdom. It teaches them to avoid whatever will get them in trouble the next time. So yeah, Embon would have turned out smarter and stronger.
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Post by Brainiac140 »

I've always been of the opinion that nurture plays a very important role in shaping one's character. I believe Embon would have turned out different if his mother had raised him differently.
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Post by Sou Hi »

Embon was indeed arrogant and sheltered. I suppose that's how rich children behave, especially when he is of royal blood, and everyone around him has lower society status than himself. Besides, Embon is the only one who would take care of Lady Sougyon when she grows old. So I think it's natural that she would allow him to do everything he likes. I also dislike how the young him treated his servant, but as he grows up, it seems he becomes more humble. The only time he acts like a master is when Duman comes to visit him. Other than that, he gets along well with his friends and comrades.
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