What was his secret of his successful marriage life?

[Sushan Ekanayake]

There are lots of examples of those who did a great service to the world in every field. But when we look at their lives, what we see in common is that many of them have not succeeded in their family lives as they got succeed in their professional lives. But here we see a different occasion of succeeding in both. Dr. Ghoulem Berrah was happily married to his wife for forty years, till death parted them. What do you think his secret is? How did he balance his personal life with his professional life?

I wouldn't base it solely on love. For a marriage to be successful I believe that there has to be a lot of communication, forgiveness and understanding.

I agree. Love can connect two people. They can date, have fun and be together. But when it comes to a marriage, it carries more responsibilities as well as a marriage life hinders each partner to some extent. With that, issues that were never there can occur. Maybe the small issues that were ignored while dating can be highlighted as large issues. To overcome all these obstacles, the qualities you mentioned are needed very much. And I believe that both Dr. Berrah and his wife had those

[Tangerinehippie1]

I think that you need to make family your main priority. Jobs come and go but people you care about are irreplaceable.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

Keeping work and family separated can be tough. I think for all marriages it is important to not let stress from work drag into your relationship, and that communication is very important. His wife was very understanding and supportive, which I think was important in this case. And it definitely helped that he took his wife with him, so they wouldn't be separated for that long.

That is true. Many husbands come home from work with all the stress that accumulated throughout the day. And there is a high chance for them to release that on their wives and kids. That is a major way of marital issues.

Seemingly Dr. Berrah has avoided such situations, probably with his disciplined mannerisms and his religious beliefs. And also he took his wife along with his work trips. So she could understand how busy his husband was and how stressful his job can become. It might have led her to tolerate a little more towards Dr. Berrah and also it might have given her the opportunity to be supportive to her husband whenever needed

[leiabutler]

For sure it was kindness! Dr Berrah's compassion is what mattered in the long run. When you've been with someone so long, little else matters than being with someone who is kind and understanding. He ticks all those boxes!

[Sushan Ekanayake]

For sure it was kindness! Dr Berrah's compassion is what mattered in the long run. When you've been with someone so long, little else matters than being with someone who is kind and understanding. He ticks all those boxes!

That is a good point. Dr. Berrah was a kind fellow, who was true to his religious beliefs.

But we have to keep in mind that he failed in two marriages in his early life. If we take it as his kindness that allowed him to have a life long marriage life with his thrid wife, was he not kind in his earlier marriages? Or is it something that his third wife had, some quality, that the earlier two wives were lacking of?

I think Mrs. Berrah too had a huge contribution for their long lived relationship

[aby johnson]

Love and respect. Two of the strongest pillars in and relationship. Especially marriage. He seems to be so compassionate and loving in his biography and I'm sure that's his secret to a wonderful marriage life.

[Foluso Falaye]

I think love. Real, raw heartfelt love. The kind that is hard to truly finds, but once it is found, you should never let go.

Love is something. Communicate and sacrifice are another. Two key factors I think keep marriages together are letting go of one's ego and being willing to forgive and forget. If both parties are working together to make things work, it is likely to. When one party gives up, based on their projected image of how marriages should be, things become difficult. Flexibility, communication, and compromise are good characters to have to keep a marriage going.

[Maddie Atkinson]

I think love. Real, raw heartfelt love. The kind that is hard to truly finds, but once it is found, you should never let go.

Love is something. Communicate and sacrifice are another. Two key factors I think keep marriages together are letting go of one's ego and being willing to forgive and forget. If both parties are working together to make things work, it is likely to. When one party gives up, based on their projected image of how marriages should be, things become difficult. Flexibility, communication, and compromise are good characters to have to keep a marriage going.

I definitely agree! Pure love is a good foundation, but communication and compromise and effort is what keeps a good healthy relationship! Also the ability to be open with each other about your past, if you're comfortable with it, and to accept that you each may have a past but that doesn't matter so much now you have your own relationship - communication is always key!

[GoodLuck ES]

He understood the place of commitment in marriage. His commitment to his spouse made him strive to achieve that balance between his work life and his marriage. He didn't let his professional life thrive at the expense of his marriage.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

Love and respect. Two of the strongest pillars in and relationship. Especially marriage. He seems to be so compassionate and loving in his biography and I'm sure that's his secret to a wonderful marriage life.

I agree with you. These two are very important features for a strong relationship. Yet, I wonder, was Dr. Berrah a different man when he come to his third marriage? He failed twice in married life, and he could last in a third one till the end. What was the difference between these situations?

What I feel is, Dr. Berrah always had love and respect for women, and he surely have extended them towards his all three wives. But apparently the first two were lacking understanding, which the third one seemingly had in a very large amount. With that, she might have been a very supportive wife and that might have been a major reason for his long lasted third marriage

[Sushan Ekanayake]

I think love. Real, raw heartfelt love. The kind that is hard to truly finds, but once it is found, you should never let go.

Love is something. Communicate and sacrifice are another. Two key factors I think keep marriages together are letting go of one's ego and being willing to forgive and forget. If both parties are working together to make things work, it is likely to. When one party gives up, based on their projected image of how marriages should be, things become difficult. Flexibility, communication, and compromise are good characters to have to keep a marriage going.

I too agree with you. It is true that love is essential to start a relationship. But marriage life is something else. Only when a couple starts to share their lives, they tend to see the shortcomings of their partners. Love is actually blind. But when such things are unmasked, which are blinded by love, then a tendency occurs for the marriage life to be shattered.

So these communication, flexibility, understanding and forgiveness become essential features to keep a marriage life going. Maybe love was the only thing that was there in Dr. Berrah's early two marriages, and that might have been the reason for their short life spans. Later, with maturity, Dr. Berrah might have understood the importance of these qualities for a marriage life and might have applied them to his third marriage. So it was a big success

[Sushan Ekanayake]

He understood the place of commitment in marriage. His commitment to his spouse made him strive to achieve that balance between his work life and his marriage. He didn't let his professional life thrive at the expense of his marriage.

I think that is also a valid point. He married three times. The first two marriages did not last long. Maybe he was not much commited to his first two wives. With much younger mind, he might have been a workaholic, which led to his professional success, but to failures in his personal life.

Later with maturation, he might have understood that he have to put an equal commitment towards his personal life as well to make it a success. Maybe that is why he could hold his third marriage until they were parted by death

[viczboy16]

I believe his secret to a successful marriage was in his character, his love for his family, passion to be successful and also his believe in his creator. Dr. Berrah, despite his busy schedule as a diplomat, also made sure he gave adequate time to his family. He was able to balance work and his personal life and this was also a great factor in a successful marriage.

[Sushan Ekanayake]

I believe his secret to a successful marriage was in his character, his love for his family, passion to be successful and also his believe in his creator. Dr. Berrah, despite his busy schedule as a diplomat, also made sure he gave adequate time to his family. He was able to balance work and his personal life and this was also a great factor in a successful marriage.

You mentioned an important point, his passion for success! Maybe after loosing two marriages he developed a passion to succeed in a marriage life as well, as he succeeded in everything else. So he might have looked at marriage life in the way that his creator has taught and devised a method to make it a success. And then what he had to do was to simply apply it, and it is obvious that he has applied it correctly and succeeded in his third marriage, which lasted till his demise.

[lavkathleen]

I sincerely believe there are no hard and fast rules to this thing called marriage. Everyone has to figure out what works for them and go with the flow.

In Dr Berrah's case, he has the highest regard for women as evidenced by the love he has for his mother and wife. This respect translates into a happy home, thus allowing him to balance his busy professional life with his personal one.

I agree. Couples have to workout their own chemistries and choose the best way to carry on their relationships.

Seemingly Dr. Berrah had an advantage with his deep respect to women, which started with his great love and respect towards his mother. And also I believe that he got lucky to get the most matching woman as his wife. She might have understood his work load and the related stress and might have been a great companion and a great support

Perfect match, indeed. Respect and understanding goes a long way, too, as it's the foundation of any good relationship. I'm not sure about him respecting women in general, though. He's made sexist comments and not enough women were introduced in his book; if he's changed his opinions about us, it wasn't addressed either.