Mother/Son relationship

[lavkathleen]

I think that the mother probably had similar love for others. But, since this is the author's memoir, he's writing from his point of view. Which is exactly how he saw her actions and affections from his own end.

Right. But it makes me think that maybe he wasn't that close to his siblings. He barely wrote about them. There was nothing from his childhood, even as grown-ups, there's nothing too. I was thinking that maybe if they were close, he'd share their stories about their mom too and how they perceive her.

[lavkathleen]

I believe his description of his mother's kindness is from his own point of view, how he saw things from his own side. Perhaps his mother standing by his bed ,looking at him adoringly was a one time scene he never lost memory of, and may have subsequently imagined she was always doing it.

You can't just imagine that kind of thing repeatedly and then proceed to write it down as a reality in your memoir because it's special and unforgettable. A lot of people already shared their experiences of this so it's far from being a lie. But you're absolutely right that this came from his own point of view. So no matter how it translates to readers, it can't be far from how he perceived it himself.

[lavkathleen]

I agree. I've done the same with both my children and I remember my mother watching me, staying up all night praying when I was sick. don't think it's possible to judge another person's parent-child relationship.

Exactly. We can't really say which is exaggeration or lacking because our relationships with our parents differ from one person to another. It could be a number of reasons: gender, culture, tradition, etc. In my opinion, though, what Dr. Berrah had with his mother was not overdone. It was lovely and special and I envy him for that as much as I'm happy for him.

[lavkathleen]

I get your point. But I think most mothers love all their kids though some have favorites. I also think that the author is trying to reach out to his audience on a personal level and how he perceived his mother's love toward him.

That could very well be the case. I am sure he had a kind and loving mother, I just felt his description of their relationship was a little over the top. Mothers and sons are usually very close, so maybe his description was spot on.

It's confusing when you say it was "a little over the top" but also say that maybe it was spot on. Anyway, like what Saint Bruno said, he was trying to reach to his audience on a personal level, which is exactly what a memoir should do. If this was how he perceived it and translated it into words, we can't judge it like that.

[lavkathleen]

I'm sure his mother loved all of her children. Mothers and sons have a special bond, but that doesn't dim the mother's love for her daughters. I just feel the author embellished on a lot of different things in his story.

Embellishment is quite a bold accusation towards a reputable person who's played a huge part in a country's history. I disagree. Some of you saw the book as overly positive and such, but I think the book just succeeded on being inspiring and passionate while you all failed to see the tiny details and see the two sides of the coin.

[lavkathleen]

He saw only his relationship., not his siblings. Hard to explain . His mother seemed to be very caring but then again we only see it from his point of view.

You are right. I would have enjoyed hearing a little about his own relationship with his siblings, but his focus on the subject of the family was his mother.

He barely wrote about his siblings. I can't help but think if they were close or not. He could've written how their mother treated them, how they bonded as family, their get-togethers as grown-ups, etc. It would've been nice to read as I have a brother, too.

[lavkathleen]

These are the memories he has of his mother. It might sound too good to be true to us, but he experienced his mother's love that way. I think it's beautiful how lovingly he talks about this mum.

Exactly what I've been saying. He simply put into words how he saw his mother, what their relationship was like, and how he felt about it. We can't say whether it was exaggerated or not, because this is theirs and theirs alone. And I personally love what they had. Knowing how cruel the world can get, a child needa to know love from their home first.

[lavkathleen]

His siblings may well have similar memories of their mother or others best suited to them that are just as poignant. However, as so many others have pointed out, this book is written from the author's point of view, so it was natural for him to use a particularly fond moment between him and his mother to demonstrate her affection toward him. Although it may seem a bit overdone to an outsider, I do not doubt that he chose a perfect moment in time to show her feelings.

Right? I never experienced that and I only saw it in the movies. As an avid reader, it was quite a different experience to read about it this time. It was so intimate and warm. I commend Dr. Berrah for putting their relationship in such a way.

[lavkathleen]

I strongly believe that some things he tells the readers about his mother’s affection toward him were an embellishment of the facts. However, I don’t see it as a bad thing because I feel like it added to my experience while reading the book as it made the book more dramatic and I love that.

How is it an embellishment? I feel like you'll have a good reason since you said you strongly believe. I actually expect it to be different than what I've read in the replies to this topic. Because a lot of people here too shared their experience about doing/experiencing it themselves. If you're basing this reply from your own experiences, then I'm sorry that you had such terrible memories. I didn't get this kind of affection from my mom too but there's nothing about Dr. Berrah's story that made me think it's embellished.

[lavkathleen]

I think because it is his memoir that he is recounting his relationship with his mother. I know as a mother that both my children would remember fond memories of me, but they may only tell it from their perspective, not their sibling's perspective unless they were in that particular memory that was shared.

True. But it made me think that he must not be close with his siblings. He barely wrote about them; they were barely there in his childhood stories and they were completely absent in his life as an adult. If they were close, maybe he could've written about what he saw as their mother interacted with his siblings.

[lavkathleen]

He saw only his relationship., not his siblings. Hard to explain . His mother seemed to be very caring but then again we only see it from his point of view.

I agree with you here. We only see the relationship between the two of them so we can't know whether this was different from her behaviour with her other children. I also think that we all tend to remember things differently from how they really happened. What is important here is the relationship rather than perhaps exacts moments between the two.

I guess I can agree with that. What came off was an affection and care so intense that some people thought that it couldn't possibly be real. I'd say Dr. Berrah did a good job at portraying their relationship; what they had must've been really special for that to happen.

[lavkathleen]

Everybody has their own type of relationships with their parents. It is unique to the family and culture.

Exactly. I don't know everyone here and where they were from, so I can't really comprehend how they saw it as an embellishment. But I think we've all seen someone's parent be overly and openly affectionate with their child/ren to not think that this was exaggerated. It's weird to me. Anyway, it would be really interesting what are the key differences in parenting considering culture, gender, etc.

[cd20]

I think because it is his memoir that he is recounting his relationship with his mother. I know as a mother that both my children would remember fond memories of me, but they may only tell it from their perspective, not their sibling's perspective unless they were in that particular memory that was shared.

True. But it made me think that he must not be close with his siblings. He barely wrote about them; they were barely there in his childhood stories and they were completely absent in his life as an adult. If they were close, maybe he could've written about what he saw as their mother interacted with his siblings.

I totally agree with you! If I were to write a story and include my childhood memories, all my siblings would be there somewhere. I don't have many memories that they are not in! I hadn't really thought of it that way, thanks for your perspective.

[Naaya123]

I do think that it’s all about perspective. Perhaps, he didn’t quite open his eyes to how his mother was with his siblings.

[Michael Jerry_]

I strongly believe that some things he tells the readers about his mother’s affection toward him were an embellishment of the facts. However, I don’t see it as a bad thing because I feel like it added to my experience while reading the book as it made the book more dramatic and I love that.

How is it an embellishment? I feel like you'll have a good reason since you said you strongly believe. I actually expect it to be different than what I've read in the replies to this topic. Because a lot of people here too shared their experience about doing/experiencing it themselves. If you're basing this reply from your own experiences, then I'm sorry that you had such terrible memories. I didn't get this kind of affection from my mom too but there's nothing about Dr. Berrah's story that made me think it's embellished.

Dear this is just what I thought about the book you didn’t have to make it personal by assuming I had terrible experiences

If you feel like it was not exaggerated in any way then say it and go you are not here to convince me why I’m wrong or you are correct you are here to drop your opinions and go.

Having said that I enjoyed this book. however, my opinions are still the same and not because of any experiences what so ever, you said you didn’t get much affection from your parents maybe that’s why you didn’t find anything in this book that makes you think it’s embellished because maybe you simply wish you had such but didn’t. maybe your experiences are what’s clouding your judgment... just my opinion though