Mother/Son relationship

[GoodLuck ES]

The book is the author's memoir and it can only be written from his viewpoint, and not from that of his siblings. The mother could have cared equally for all his siblings, but the author concealed that cause the book is about him and not his siblings.

[Cwaganagwa Dorothy]

From his story I pick that he was the only male child, brought up by his mother only because unfortunately, his father passed away, while he was still very young, extra push by mother for him to attain a good education and, according to him, she was always right, in whatever she said or did. Plus the so many other things she did for him which explain the goodness of their relationship.

[viczboy16]

I believe some aspects of his mums fondness to him were true. There seems to be always a special affinity to the best behaved child and the authors shows some of those traits although he might have done some exaggeration. Thanks.

[viczboy16]

I believe some aspects of his mums fondness to him were true. There seems to be always a special affinity to the best behaved child and the authors shows some of those traits although he might have done some exaggeration. Thanks.

[K+SQUARE]

I feel that since it's his memoir, he'd focus on his life and what others did in relation to him and not his siblings. A mother's love cannot be quantified, therefore I think his assertion is valid.

[Kirsi Cultrera]

The author places a lot of emphasis on his relationship with his mother, especially as he was growing up. I believe his mother was a special person, from his descriptions. However, I wonder if some of the things he tells about his mother's affection toward him were maybe an embellishment of the facts. For example, how he would wake up at night and find her "standing by his bed, looking at him adoringly." He only mentions his siblings briefly, and rightfully so since it is his memoir, but he doesn't share whether his mother was just as affectionate with them as she was with him. It sounded to me like he was the only thing she focused on! I wonder if his siblings ever awoke during the night and found her "looking adoringly" at them? I just thought it was a relationship too good to be true! What are your thoughts?

I think the relationship with his mother was actually the factor that made it possible for him to be such an exemplary husband to his wife later on in his life. The love and respect he learned from his mother carried on to this other most important relationship, and I find this amazing.

I also think that the mother loved his siblings egually, but as the story has been told from his point of view, we only see what he tells us. It would be very interesting indeed to hear stories from their childhood from his siblings! And what comes to a relationship too good to be true, I would not agree. This kind of relationships are rare, but they do exist. Actually, every child would deserve to be loved like that, but unfortunately it is not always the case.

[lavkathleen]

His mother seemed like a very good and caring mother. After losing his brothers she may just be more protective of him. They seem to have a very close relationship. It is clear that he deeply loved his mother.

Yeah. There was a part of their culture that he mentioned, the one where he had to wear an earring. His mother actually made him wear it—perhaps only to honor the tradition or it really meant a big deal for her that he's the only surviving son. It shows a lot about their circumstance as mother and son and how it perhaps made her favor him more.

[lavkathleen]

I understand what you mean as there is the tendency sometimes for people to look at the past more fondly that it was especially with regards to someone they love.
However, I think the portrayal of his relationship with his mother is believable. I have woken up many times in the middle of the night when I was younger to find my mother checking up on me, adjusting my blanket or whatever. Also, I have heard the same narrations from some of my friends as well. Yet, here mothers aren't known to be overly affectionate in our customs. It is easy to believed that his mother would do this is a place where it is the custom for mothers to be outwarldly affectionate.
Also, if she is great with his, it is only to be expected that she would be great towards his siblings as well.

I don't know why it only sunk in now, but I just remembered that mothers and daughters have a different kind of relationship. I imagine her showing a bit more of tough love to her daughters compared to Dr. Berrah. Nevertheless, I hope they experienced, even if only sometimes, that same affection she showered him with.

[lavkathleen]

Yes, I can agree with what you said. As a mother myself, I often checked on both of my children during the night. I just felt the adoration was a little overdone, but the author was writing it from his own point of view, and it must have been very special to him that his mother would do that!

Yeah. Its coming off as 'overdone' says a lot about how he sees her. It's quite difficult to put feelings into words but for it to seem like that to some of us shows that he's done a good job at it. It feels so special and sweet, and I'm glad he had that with her, especially since we know the hardships the world was going to throw at him after her death.

[lavkathleen]

I get your point. But I think most mothers love all their kids though some have favorites. I also think that the author is trying to reach out to his audience on a personal level and how he perceived his mother's love toward him.

True. He did a good job at putting his feelings and memories of his mother into words, so much so that some of us started to think that it seemed exaggerated. Perhaps it was too good to be true for them, but there really are parents who are showy about their feelings and affection. Dr. Berrah was proof of that, and as someone who didn't have someone like her, I'm happy for him.

[lavkathleen]

I do think it's possible. Throughout my childhood I spent every night with my mother and when I finally moved to my bed she'd still come at night to check on me. Mothers are very amazing humans. I believe his mother showed his siblings how much she loved them in other ways.

I was just thinking of how mothers have a different relationship with their daughters compared to their sons. They're from an Arab-African country, so I imagine her giving them more tough love than she would with Dr. Berrah. Nevertheless, I hope they experienced the same level of affection that he received from their mother too.

[lavkathleen]

I think he wanted to give some extra credit to his mother. I am pretty sure that his mother was an amazing woman, and he had raised such a wonderful kid. But he could not have been her only focus. So he might have used a little exaggeration when describing how he found her standing at his bedside at night when he suddenly woke up

I wouldn't say that it was an exaggeration. Mothers and children alike have mentioned countless times that they do/experience this. I imagine her doing the same with his siblings. You're right about him wanting to give her extra credit, though. The way he wrote about her... it shows his fondest memories of her and how much he cherished her.

[63tty]

I think even if parents deny it, they do have favourites. I think maybe he was his mother's favourite. Also, just because he mentioned that one part doesn't mean their relationship was perfect.

[Ngozi Onyibor]

I suppose he wanted the spotlight to be on him. His mother might have been as loving to his siblings, but even if she wasn't he probably couldn't tell at the time as long as she was good to him.

[lavkathleen]

I think that the mother probably had similar love for others. But, since this is the author's memoir, he's writing from his point of view. Which is exactly how he saw her actions and affections from his own end.

Right. But it makes me think that maybe he wasn't that close to his siblings. He barely wrote about them. There was nothing from his childhood, even as grown-ups, there's nothing too. I was thinking that maybe if they were close, he'd share their stories about their mom too and how they perceive her.