Brideshead Revisited: Lovers Or Just Friends?
Posted: 01 Oct 2015, 08:23
Hello everybody. I recently finished Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh, and I absolutely LOVED it. One of my favourite books of all time, that’s for certain. Since then, I've been reading several posts and analysis about the themes and questions the book tackles. It seems to be a still-lingering disagreement about the true nature of the relationship between the two main characters: Charles Ryder and Sebastian Flyte. Were they lovers? Were they friends with benefits, like we like to say nowadays? Or were they plainly friends? Or were they in love but didn't engage in sexual activities? Do you think Sebastian was in love with Charles but Charles didn't love him back and this heartbreak, alongside his inner religious conflict, caused his alcoholism and rejection of the world? Does Charles feel responsible for this at the end of the novel? Did Charles try to marry Julia because it was the closest we could get to Sebastian in a socially acceptable fashion?
Throughout the novel, there are several obvious hints of a sexual relationship:
- Cara's monologue about young love. She easily presumes Charles and Sebastian are in love, but in an immature way. Charles hasn’t found mature love yet, according to her.
- Sebastian’s Oxford friends are referred to as “the sodomites” and are led by the fabulously brash Anthony Blanche.
- Charles explicitly confess to Julia that he loved Sebastian and he was "the forerunner".
- Sebastian’s possessiveness towards Charles and his apparent lack of interest towards women.
- Charles states that Sebastian was always present in his thoughts during his affair with Julia.
- Sebastian and Charles are called "fairies" by two prostitutes and aren't bothered by it.
- How Charles consistently fawns over Sebastian’s beauty, personality and eccentricities during the first half of the book.
- Sebastian’s dubious relation with Kurt (was he a reductive substitute for Charles?)
Although I see evidence for both sides of the question (lovers or just friends), I’m inclined to share Cara’s point of view: I think they were lovers, but Charles realized his relationship was a temporary infatuation unlike Sebastian, who truly loved him. This clash of perspectives caused Charles to fall for Julia and Sebastian, for alcoholism.
Tell me what do you think, I'm extremely curious!
Bonus Question: What do you think about the way Sebastian’s story ended? Too ambiguous? Too devastating? Understandable? Inspiring? I'm still crying

Throughout the novel, there are several obvious hints of a sexual relationship:
- Cara's monologue about young love. She easily presumes Charles and Sebastian are in love, but in an immature way. Charles hasn’t found mature love yet, according to her.
- Sebastian’s Oxford friends are referred to as “the sodomites” and are led by the fabulously brash Anthony Blanche.
- Charles explicitly confess to Julia that he loved Sebastian and he was "the forerunner".
- Sebastian’s possessiveness towards Charles and his apparent lack of interest towards women.
- Charles states that Sebastian was always present in his thoughts during his affair with Julia.
- Sebastian and Charles are called "fairies" by two prostitutes and aren't bothered by it.
- How Charles consistently fawns over Sebastian’s beauty, personality and eccentricities during the first half of the book.
- Sebastian’s dubious relation with Kurt (was he a reductive substitute for Charles?)
Although I see evidence for both sides of the question (lovers or just friends), I’m inclined to share Cara’s point of view: I think they were lovers, but Charles realized his relationship was a temporary infatuation unlike Sebastian, who truly loved him. This clash of perspectives caused Charles to fall for Julia and Sebastian, for alcoholism.
Tell me what do you think, I'm extremely curious!
Bonus Question: What do you think about the way Sebastian’s story ended? Too ambiguous? Too devastating? Understandable? Inspiring? I'm still crying






