Everything else could wait...or could it?

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 05 Jun 2021, 23:40

Suzer6440 xyz wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 22:15 Cancer has a mind of it's own. I don't think think anything would have changed no matter what she did because this illness dies not care how it invades the body. Whatever makes you happy in life is what you should do. Every person has their own set of priorities. And some things take more residence over other things!

That could have been said about something like a renal cancer, where the origin is hidden from the eyes and when you know that you are ill, your time has already finished. But this author had a skin cancer, which was pretty obvious to the eye. Just think of yourself in a similar situation. Would you not go to a doctor at the earliest possibility? But this author postponed it because she wanted to continue with her work life, and ultimately that workaholic behaviour made her very sick.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 05 Jun 2021, 23:43

Kavita Shah wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 23:29 Something's wait but some things don't wait. If work versus family situation arises many would choose based on their judgment. For the author it was giving care to the patients. If the cancer was earlier detected then sure, she would have been at her home being taken care of but maybe she felt like she hadn't done enough to help others. Things like work can wait and things like illness, time, season won't wait.

Illnesses won't wait for anything. And your time also does not wait. That is why one has to utilize it in a wise manner. One can care for others selflessly. But that does not mean that you have to neglect basic care for yourself. Being a doctor, she should have considered her own condition with more care. Neglecting that did her or her patients nothing but reduced the service that she can do and they can get from her.

Michael Jerry_ · Post by **Michael Jerry_** » 06 Jun 2021, 00:40

in life, nothing should come after your safety or health, not even other people's safety or health because to help others you have to first be in good health. You are no good to anyone if you’re not healthy or safe and that’s why on planes you are required to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Doctors owe it to their patients to be healthy and I think it’s part of a doctor's job to be healthy first.

Yvonne Monique · Post by **Yvonne Monique** » 06 Jun 2021, 05:54

I can very much relate to this quote as I also tend to put work, family, friends etc. first before my own health or happiness. I suppose that self esteem has something to do with it, too. I believe that the author's story is an eye-opener to have an honest look at our own lives and start looking a bit more after ourselves.

Mariana Figueira · Post by **Mariana Figueira** » 06 Jun 2021, 10:59

I think you can't take care of others if you can't take care of yourself, and the healthiest thing you can do is put yourself in the first place. However, I also come from a family of physicians and this sums it up perfectly: they are the worst patients. Being around ill people, they think they are invulnerable, so maybe that's something that could've played a role for the author.

Esther11 · Post by **Esther11** » 06 Jun 2021, 13:37

We can never define the quality of life by how much time we have. The author clearly cares about her job and her patients. She doesn’t think of her job as something she does for a paycheck. In this case, caring more about herself may or may not prevent the cancer but it won’t make her more happier and satisfied with herself.

Dimi1 · Post by **Dimi1** » 06 Jun 2021, 14:47

There's always a golden equilibrium between your career and yourself/your family. When you're at work you should give 100% but this is also the case when you're alone or with your family.

Creole · Post by **Creole** » 06 Jun 2021, 21:25

Many persons tend to prioritize career duties over individual and sometimes, sadly, family care. The author had an intuition but chose to ignore it. How many times have we been guilty of similar actions? The question of whether she would not have got cancer if she had taken care of herself is difficult to answer with a straightforward negative or positive. Some persons take excellent care of themselves but still suffer from major illnesses. Life is precarious, eventful, vivid. Life is many things. Let us take better care of ourselves, though. This is a timely, thought-provoking message.

Ahbed Nadir · Post by **Ahbed Nadir** » 07 Jun 2021, 04:41

A doctor is one of the most important professions in the world and as such people who pursue this career have a great deal resting on their shoulders. It's only fair to assume that they will have a great deal of stress and problems, juggling their career life with their family life and so I feel she did the right thing focusing on her work as she was making an impact on people's lives.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 07 Jun 2021, 05:19

Hogwarts03 wrote: ↑03 Jun 2021, 03:14 Everyone's take is different. I don't think her cancer was caused by her work and even if she ended up taking more time off, it would have developed nonetheless.
Medicine was her calling. It was what made her happy and happiness and health should always come first.
Yes, I agree that if she had taken a little time out for herself and hadn't been so detrimental towards her health, she would've been in a better place.
At the end, it's what makes you get up in the morning and what makes you happy.

Definitely she did not get her cancer due to her work, but it spread because of her work. Not actually because of her work, but she spending more time on her work and less on her own self. If one can get up in the morning and be happy about one's selfless service to others, that is good. But if that someone can be healthy and do that service for a longer period, that would be better.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 07 Jun 2021, 05:22

Nouria el saftawy wrote: ↑03 Jun 2021, 06:42 Some people are extremely loyal to their jobs like her, they are very hardworking and put their job at first above everyone else, while this might be useful to her patients and work and she’s definitely trying to help people and she means good, but I don’t think this is right as her life is so unbalanced, from my personal opinion I think it’s only right if she gives everything in her life it’s right including herself.

Exactly. Each and every person has a right to be healthy. That is common to doctors as well. She has served to give that right to many of her patients, but in the process she has deprived her own self from that right. It is sad to hear because it happened because of nothing else but her own ignorance about the developing symptom.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 07 Jun 2021, 05:24

Eriny Youssef wrote: ↑03 Jun 2021, 11:02
Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
I think that will always remain a choice to be made daily in our lives—or at least thise who care for others. By i believe both are equally important. We just have to find the balance and keep making informed decisions.

Your job is important. And your life and your loved ones lives and happiness is important too. If you serve one more by compromising the other, can it be called as success? There are millionaires who are unhappy, because of nothing else but ignoring the small things that will make their own selves happy and chased after money. I do not say that this doctor chased after money, but ultimately she lost the balance and met with bad consequences.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 07 Jun 2021, 05:27

Taiwexzy100 wrote: ↑03 Jun 2021, 14:13 I think the best way is to balance the love of your work with the love of your loved ones, but to be frank, family should always comes first and not have to compete with your profession.

Family has to come first, there is no argument about that. But that does not mean that you can ignore your job. You are bound to do your job correctly, at least for the salary you get if you have no love towards what you do. But here the author loved her job very much and could not keep her work life separate from her personal life. If the two were separated and had given the same care, her illness could have been diagnosed far more earlier, and the current situation would have been better.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 07 Jun 2021, 05:42

Kirsi_78 wrote: ↑03 Jun 2021, 14:32
Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
Well, there's no way of knowing if she would have gotten cancer anyway. What is sure is that it would have been easier to treat had she gone to see the doctor sooner. Anyway, second-guessing won't change the outcome. What comes to your second question, I think it is clear you have to care for yourself and your loved ones first. Because, if you don't, one day there might not be much left of you to do your job wholeheartedly. To me, it appears that the author was under some false sense of omnipotence. As for myself, I know how easy it is to push your own issues aside and concentrate on others instead. Unfortunately, that is not a very healthy approach. I am battling with this issue weekly. The story of this author serves as another good reminder.

It is not correct to look at the past and say that this could have been done instead of that. What has happened is happened and what has done is done. But this sort of stories, as you said, can be taken as reminders for those who find it difficult to balance personal life with professional life. That does not mean that all of them will be ended up with bad health. But ending up with bad relationships is far more worse.

Post by **Kirsi Cultrera** » 07 Jun 2021, 07:43

Ahbed Nadir wrote: ↑07 Jun 2021, 04:41 A doctor is one of the most important professions in the world and as such people who pursue this career have a great deal resting on their shoulders. It's only fair to assume that they will have a great deal of stress and problems, juggling their career life with their family life and so I feel she did the right thing focusing on her work as she was making an impact on people's lives.

I don’t think it is appropriate to say one profession is more important than others. Of course doctors are important, but what I think is that they could not do their job without other just as important professions. Firstly, somebody had to build the building they are working in. Secondly, somebody has to clean the building. Thirdly, somebody has to provide supplies. And so on. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the work the doctors are doing, but I am just saying they couldn’t do their jobs properly if the other important professionals didn’t do their jobs first.