Everything else could wait...or could it?

Use this forum to discuss the May 2021 Book of the month, "Surviving the Business of Healthcare: Knowledge is Power" by Barbara Galutia Regis PA-C
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Sushan Ekanayake
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Re: Everything else could wait...or could it?

Post by Sushan Ekanayake »

ALRE SYD wrote: 12 Jun 2021, 08:58 One's job, family and health are all equally important. But I think the author has a great deal of empathy for patients and that is why she always put them first. From what I heard so far, such diseases that are chronic, its to know that you have it up until it is at stage three and at worst its peak. But I think she never anticipated ever suffering from such because I would like to think that her knowledge about science gave ways of how to take of self.
She had all the knowledge that a doctor can have about her illness. What she did not have was the necessary determination to serve hers. She wanted to be selfless as much as possible, but in the long run it affected her own self in a bad way. Yes, as you mentioned, maybe she is not wallowing over what happened. But I see a doctor's life as well as a lifetime's service being wasted.
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Kuchi Mercy wrote: 13 Jun 2021, 15:38 In as much one could be extremely passionate about their work or career, especially when they view it as not just the source of a paycheck, but also a means of creating impact and relevance, I suggest that care for personal and family life should not be left in the rear. We most times are effective in our careers as much as our personal and family lives are. Some other things can wait, but things like personal health and family should not.
It is a good thing to do your job as a service rather than thinking of it as your source of income. Such people will do a better service to the others. But at the same time you should balance your work as well as your family life. Family too needs you and your service, and you should keep that in mind.
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Kanchan Sharma wrote: 14 Jun 2021, 08:08 It is not necessary that if she would have taken more care of herself, then she wouldn't have acquired cancer. Many seemingly healthy-looking people also get caught by the disease. For the author taking care of her patients was her first priority because it was her passion and not merely a job. That is why kept aside everything else and concentrated on her job only.
Actually she did not kept her illness aside after the diagnosis. It was before the diagnosis and with the presumption of that being a benign condition. So it is doubtful whether it was done out of real sympathy and determination towards the patients or merely due to her negligence towards her own self. If it was the latter, I do not think that it is either a healthy or a noble practice.
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britcott30 wrote: 14 Jun 2021, 11:21 I simply believe that if something already has "too much" in it, the result will never be good. If you put your heart too much into the job, it will never be good for other aspects of your life. And vice versa, if you put your priority too much on your family, it will affect the others. So if we can live our lives with balance, hopefully, it can reduce bad things that will happen to us.
Giving attention too much for one aspect will make you loose attention towards every other aspects, not only in your life but everything else. It is good to balance everything. It can be hard when you have a specific passion, like this author's passion to treat her patients. But every reader can use the consequences that this author ended up as an eye opener.
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ReaderAisha2020 wrote: 14 Jun 2021, 15:46 I don't think the cancer would have been prevented if she had been less dedicated to work. There is most likely some other cause. However, although we can't really blame her I wonder why she did not notice the symptoms sooner.

In any case I think that being dedicated to her patients may have benefitted more than anything and if you believe as I do that everything happens for a reason, maybe this happened to help her understand her patients better or even to receive back some of the treatment she herself gave to others.

We really don't know how things would have been if she had not been so devoted to her work, but actually it is said that helping and supporting others actually helps to improve our health and well being so maybe it could have slowed it from spreading at least - but no one can know for sure

Also, many people have been directly I'll from coronovirus and we see them as hero's. I think we cannot really blame altruistic people if they get affected or I'll for helping others. It is sad but admirable, and they are only intending to help others not get ill
I agree. Her illness could not have prevented howevermuch care she gave to her own self. But she being negligent about the condition at the initial stages made it to become worse. Yes, indeed she did a great service to the society. Today with this Corona Pandemic we see how healthcare workers give their lives to treat and save others. In no way this author's service can be undermined. But she could have done more if she cared a bit more about herself.
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Kiran Kanwar wrote: 15 Jun 2021, 02:27 I think that you should be your first priority always. Family, career, people around you, etc should be secondary. Take care of yourself first, that helps in having better relations with others and your career too.
I agree. A person should learn to treat and care for his own self before taking care of others. A person who knows the importance o his own self will serve the others well. I do not say that this author did a bad service as a doctor. But being a doctor you should be an example, and being negligent about your own illness will be a bad example to the patients.
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Post by Sushan Ekanayake »

the_ashfeathers wrote: 15 Jun 2021, 13:04 That's some hardcore dilemma. But we can't have everything at the same time, can we? Something will be missed as you enjoy something. Regrets will never perish entirely but we can still minimize them, live to the fullest.

Happiness is a relative term, anyway.
You have a point. We cannot care for each and everything in the same manner in our lives practically. And that is why we should prioritize our responsibilities and choices. And we should be flexible enough to change the priority list as per the situation. It is true that her main priority was her patients, but she should have taken herself up in that priority list at the early stages of her illness.
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Nancy Morara wrote: 15 Jun 2021, 13:05
MBerretta wrote: 01 Jun 2021, 15:19 This is such a hard question. Yes, if she had taken time to care for herself, rested, and relaxed maybe she might have caught the symptoms sooner? I'm not sure if we can blame ourselves for something so unknown. She could have very well-developed cancer regardless.
I agree and it's hard to escape the inevitable, indeed she could have still developed cancer. What she needs to do is not to beat herself for what she didn't do, but rather focus on her medication and making herself happy in the meantime that's the least she can do. She shouldn't spend or waist her time thinking what ifs , but to ensure she lives her life to the fullest.
Wise thinking. Yes, what is happened is happened. There is no use of regretting now. She is ill now but already on treatment, so there is some hope. And at the same time she has not fully succumbed to her illness so she can continue what she love to do, treat her patients. So she can live happily whatever the short time period that is left.
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Simran Jha 1 wrote: 16 Jun 2021, 23:31 I've never put any important work or goal of mine waiting because of the hurdles of life,i've always thought that waiting is something that the doer should do and not the thing that the doer has to do. When you think that the other person could wait..... NO, they leave immediately after they think that you are taking them for granted. so according to me you should never keep things or people on waiting when they are important for you.
You are correct. Your loved ones will tolerate up to a certain extent with the understanding of how important your other priorities to you. But if they feel like you take their sacrifice for granted, then they will leave without any hesitation. So if you want your loved ones to be with you, you should care for them adequately as well.
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Post by Sushan Ekanayake »

Jordan Cane wrote: 17 Jun 2021, 18:01 The most important thing to do is what makes you feel content and peaceful. The nature of life is that this is not the same for every person - each has their own set of priorities and what sits at the top varies. People who have grown up or around toxic family members may prioritize their education above all else. Others who found solace in helping others may list this as their first priority. The reality is that it all depends. Therefore, it is important that she, the author, focus her energy on what allows her to live a healthy and fulfilled life as should we all.
Yes, she focused on serving her patients and that made her a wonderful doctor. And I respect what she did. But living is important and it is necessary to be happy. She was living happily until she came to know of her delayed diagnosis. What might have happened to her happiness then? Could she last content even after that? Will she be the same person?I don't think so.
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Sushan wrote: 31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
I also thought she could have paid more attention to herself, but I notice a habit among doctors to do quite the opposite of what they prescribe. Also, the best doctors tend to be selfless and ignore their own health for some reason. Notice that Regis calls medicine her 'calling'. Not many jobs can described like that. Nevertheless, I don't think a being committed to your work and caring for your loved ones are mutually exclusive things.
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I think the author's recounting of how she reacted to the spots on her face and arm are how we all would react. We go into denial. She knew these spots were not normal and hoped they would just go away. - I have found myself in many situations where I have NOT reacted in the way I had thought I would. Even when we have the knowledge, it is difficult to foresee how we will act when reality hits. Do we go into action or do we freeze up in emergencies? I appreciated her honesty.
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BETTY KHAINZA wrote: 18 Jun 2021, 10:16 Priorities are determined by what we hold passionately. she is passionate about her profession and this makes her patients be considered first before everything else. It is unfortunate she gets ill too. She is sincerely devoted to her job and therefore it is her priority. I will support anyone who brings their passion first because it breeds the positive energy from with in.
A passion is a personal priority. A person can chase his/her passions and be content if he/she lives alone. But the usual human who has binds to his loved ones and family cannot do that without hurting his loved ones. Here the author says that her husband understood her passion. But he may have a different story to tell. It is good to follow your passions, but it is better to balance things in your life.
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Parahiyo wrote: 20 Jun 2021, 02:15 We all don't have the same priorities. But I believe that I can love doing my job, take care of myself and my loved ones. The three can be fully balanced considering that you need the job to take care of yourself and your loved ones. For one to work well, you have to love your job wholeheartedly.
Everyone need money to give necessary care for the family and one's own self. For that you need a job and you should do it well. But you should not forget why you do your job, it is mainly to fulfill the needs of you and your family. So if you tend to forget that and be attached to your job to the level of neglecting your own health and the wellbeing of your family, I do not think that will be a healthy situation.
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Post by Sushan Ekanayake »

Dzejn_Crvena wrote: 21 Jun 2021, 04:08 Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer?
She'll still get sick in one way or another. She may not get the cancer, but other illness may befall on her.

What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
Depends on the job. I have a love-hate relationship with my job, so I think it's better if I care for my loved ones.
Job can replace me anytime. To my loved ones, I'm one of a kind.
You can get any illness at anytime despite whatever the precautions you take. But if you neglect your wellbeing, you will be easily succumbed into illnesses.

You have pointed out an important fact. One should understand that he/she is not the only one who is capable of his/her job. If the employer loose him/her, he will hire another one. But for your family you are the only one of your kind and you cannot be replaced by anyone else. You have to keep that in mind and give a good care for your family along with your own self.
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