2 out of 4 stars
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AIDS is a horrific disease. It's terrible not only for those who live with (or die from) it, it's also terrible for those who have loved ones who suffer from AIDS. David W. Driver, author of Surviving AIDS: The Many Stories of Survival in Our Twenty-Five Year Battle Against HIV/AIDS (which I'll refer to merely as Surviving AIDS) is one such man - he discovers 2 years after marrying his wife, Kari-Ann, that she has not only HIV but full-blown AIDS and later discovers their daughter Jordyn has it as well. Kari-Ann tragically survives for less than a year after her diagnosis, leaving David to raise their daughter alone.
As the title states, this book comes 25+ years after AIDS first came into the lives of the Driver family. However, this isn't a book about medical battles or the intricacies of AIDS treatments. Instead, Surviving AIDS focuses on David's life, the life of a man who lost the love of his life to AIDS a mere 2-3 years after they were married and who has stood by his daughter, making impossible choices about her treatments for 25 years. AIDS was a much less understood disease decades ago, making his choices even more difficult.
Survivng AIDS is a collection of thoughts and short stories that largely feels like a selection of diary entries with a couple letters added in. The vast majority of these stories are two pages or less, giving little glimpses into his life. This format had great potential, and sometimes it was excellent insight into a man whose life changed so drastically forever.
Unfortunately, the majority of the book focuses on David's general hatred for what his life has become. There's no way I can fully understand just how rough David has/had it, and I wouldn't have faulted him at all for including some bits about feeling down or pleading for life to get better. David frequently says he tries to stay positive and looks for silver linings, but from the stories selected for this book it definitely doesn't seem like it. When approximately half of the book is just back-to-back clips of this negativity it really weighs the reader down. I was also surprised at just how little HIV and AIDS are mentioned - HIV and AIDS are what drive everything and they're what set up their situation, but there are no specifics about them whatsoever. He mentions having to make difficult decisions but examples are incredibly rare, and aside from her phantom stomach pains that doctors couldn't diagnose for over 10 years and waking up to her screaming in agony there's no real discussion about their actual lives.
To make matters worse, at least a couple of the stories probably shouldn't have been included as they currently are. Two stories particularly felt like they shouldn't have been made public, and I was embarrassed for Jordyn as I read them. Apparently Jordyn went through a phase in which she essentially stole money from relatives by running up their credit card. David explains in one of them that he felt in the middle of the argument, with his daughter who suffers daily on one side and his family who were betrayed and now forced to come up with loads of money rightfully angry on the other. While I understand how rough that must've been for David, without some further details it just felt like airing family drama.
I was pretty excited when I first learned this book highlighted a side rarely shown when it comes to life with AIDS. David had a really rough time with losing his wife so soon after being married and then having to raise their daughter without her. The support he received from his family was pivotal, but I really, really wish this book included more about their battle against AIDS, their day-to-day life or insights into the relationship between David and Jordyn. Despite being only 70 pages I felt like I had to force myself to continue reading Surviving AIDS. There are some really relatable, deep lines (who hasn't felt terrible when a loved one is suffering and there's nothing we can do to help?) but the majority of the book felt far too empty. There were also numerous grammatical errors - I counted 27 within these 70 pages, including two misspellings of "Kari-Ann", David's wife's name. As such, my official rating of Surviving AIDS is 2 out of 4 stars. If you would like a short book with some insight into what it's like to be David and don't mind the hit-and-miss stories, you should check it out!
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Surviving AIDS
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