Official Review: Finding Grace with Grief

CataclysmicKnight · Post by **CataclysmicKnight** » 02 Sep 2019, 17:06

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Finding Grace with Grief" by Tasha Holland-Kornegay, PhD, LPCS.]

4 out of 4 stars

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Grief is a monster. It's bad enough that we lose something or someone we care about, but to have to face off against a process of acceptance and moving on is the icing on the cake of pain. Luckily, lots of work has been done on studying how to process grief, with the five stages of grief developed by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross being one of the most widely accepted methods. The Kübler-Ross model's five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - are far more well-known than the official name given to the process, but just what happens in these stages, and how does one get through them?

Finding Grace with Grief by Tasha Holland-Kornegay, PhD, LPCS is a workbook that helps people through the five stages of grief. This 42-page paperback book is broken down into the five stages, each of which has five days worth of work to do. Each day presents readers with a bit of text explaining the stage of grief and how the exercise included will help, followed by the exercise itself with lots of blank space for readers to work. If one was to put this book to work every day, they could potentially work through their grief in less than a month!

I really enjoyed the layout of this book. While it's mostly in black and white, the author does a good job of applying a bit of color here and there. The bits of text each day do a good job of explaining what a person may be feeling, and each exercise is unique to the day. For example, day one of denial asks you to explain your loss before day two gets more specific, utilizing a word bank of potential emotions to choose from and go into further detail. Day three asks you to find physical stress in your body and mark it on a rudimentary diagram of the body, day four asks you to specify what you're having difficulty coming to terms with, and day five is a bit of guided meditation. The other stages are just as varied, and each exercise makes perfect sense.

I also loved that the book applies to all types of grief. It's just as applicable for someone whose parent, spouse, or pet died as it is for someone who has had their house burn down or their phone destroyed. The author is encouraging and writes in a way that's both easy to understand and follow. While I did find four grammatical errors (three of which were on one page), the writing was smooth enough that I was able to briskly read through the book. The author also mentions that the five stages of grief don't necessarily happen in any particular order, and while the book is set up in a specific order, each stage of grief is separate. You could jump into them in any order and not be confused or miss out on anything.

Finally, while I didn't dislike any of the exercises, there were three I particularly enjoyed. Exercise 8 (day 3 of anger) explains that while grieving, it's easier to get angry or upset about things, but that it's also difficult for friends and family to know what a grieving person wants or needs. The exercise tasks readers with listing "the things that you find yourself frustrated with or upset about when approached by others" and then with writing "a list of what people could say and do to help you feel supported and comforted". I feel like this would be handy for all sorts of people, such as people with anxiety or depression. Another interesting exercise compares the feelings that accompany depression to visitors. Each visitor comes by for a while, has a little chat, and then leaves. The author says "[These feelings] are there with purpose, they are there to give you attention, and they are there to find closure and leave." The last exercise in depression then asks readers to describe their hopes for themselves, the world, and the future. I find that when I'm depressed, focusing on a task list to improve my situation, and fantasizing about how much better things can be.

Finding Grace with Grief is an excellent guide to making peace with what's been lost and accepting what's happened. I typically don't mention price in reviews, but Amazon has the book listed at only $6.99, which is pretty remarkable for an independently-published book. Despite the errors I found, I can't help but give this book 4 out of 4 stars simply because I wouldn't hesitate to buy a copy for a friend or loved one that's processing grief. And when the day comes that I need to deal with it again myself, I'll be happy to have a guide to help me through the tough times. With that said, it should come as no surprise that I wouldn't recommend the book to anyone who isn't grieving; even if some aspects of the book apply to other situations, a lot of the book wouldn't.

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Finding Grace with Grief
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ReneeBrown · Post by **ReneeBrown** » 03 Sep 2019, 23:37

Wow, that is so cool that this book is well written enough that you would recommend it to your friends and family who are processing grief. I love finding books like this. Thanks for the well-written review!

Fazzier · Post by **Fazzier** » 04 Sep 2019, 00:59

This seems like a resourceful book. I like the fact that the author actually goes ahead and explains what happens in each of the Kübler-Ross model's five stages of grief. I think that approach makes it simpler to understand and apply. Thanks for sharing!

celannecruz · Post by **celannecruz** » 04 Sep 2019, 03:21

This is a great book. At some point, I can relate to the author's idea. It is recommendable to your friends and relatives. Great job. I love it.

Letora · Post by **Letora** » 04 Sep 2019, 05:01

What a great concept. I wish I had known about this when my roommate's grandfather passed away. She struggled with his death due to her depression and I think this could have been a big help.

LauraLeeWasHere · Post by **LauraLeeWasHere** » 04 Sep 2019, 05:56

Dear CK,

Thank you so much for picking, reviewing and recommending this book. I had almost every member of my close/immediate family die is less than 2 years. Since then I've been having to say "goodbye" to life long friends as well. Since so many people know this about me, whenever someone is facing a death in their family or among their friends they often seek me out for help/advice. I know how Jesus got me through without losing my sanity but what do I tell others? We each process our grief differently even with the common five steps.

It's good to know there is a workbook/resource out there that can help me help others. And the fact you would recommend it to the people in your own life says a lot of your opinion about this topic and how useful this book will be. If a Christian can't come right out and discuss death and what happens next, than who can?
Thanks for such a helpful review (and for keeping up your profile picture of you wearing your knightly crown)

Sincerely, Laura-Lee

Rachel Lea · Post by **Rachel Lea** » 04 Sep 2019, 08:53

I love the idea of a book that systematically helps the reader work through their grief as they're experiencing it. What a useful resource. Thank you for your review!

Sangeetha+Narayan · Post by **Sangeetha+Narayan** » 04 Sep 2019, 09:33

Definitely an interesting concept. We all have gone through grief at some stagee of our life. A very good review. It would be handy to have a guide like this at a time of loss. Definitely will check it out.

Amenrodion · Post by **Amenrodion** » 04 Sep 2019, 16:04

I am sorry but this book sounds like great theory with little to no application value. Having suffered from grief, and dealt with anxiety and depression; I do not think I would have the presence of mind to communicate what sort of comfort I would need from people. Then again, it might just be me

Stephanie Elizabeth · Post by **Stephanie Elizabeth** » 04 Sep 2019, 17:57

I like this type of self-help book that gets the reader to read and then do excersises. Thanks for the excellent review!

Kelyn · Post by **Kelyn** » 04 Sep 2019, 21:23

Although the book presents an admirable idea and a hopeful aspect, having experienced intense grief I can tell you that at no time in that process would I have been able to sit down with a book such as this and put together my thoughts into a workable order. Grief is shattering, body, mind, and soul. A lovely concept but it just doesn't sound realistic to me. Thanks for the well-written review.

Wyland · Post by **Wyland** » 05 Sep 2019, 06:24

A book that tackles grief is quite helpful to have or recommend. I look forward to doing both. Thanks for the helpful review.

Bhaskins · Post by **Bhaskins** » 05 Sep 2019, 10:57

What an incredible review. I’m a therapist that specializes in trauma and have only done the very basics of grief. This sounds like such a great tool for myself and my clients. Thank you.

V 1 5 · Post by **V 1 5** » 06 Sep 2019, 17:52

Interesting way to sort out grief. May this book really be of help to those going through the stages. Great review!

Shahere10 · Post by **Shahere10** » 07 Sep 2019, 08:00

This book sounds interesting. The writer provide details of grief stages and ways to overcome it. I guess this book is reccomended to all readers because we had undergone these grief stages in our life. Thank you for your great review!