OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Jump at the Chance" by Karin Halls.]

The Henesey family consists of six children, all of whom live on the family farm with their mother. Erika is one of these children, an 18-year-old who has a passion for horseback riding, especially with her favorite horse Ben. Life seems to be at a standstill; with her daily chores on the farm, Erika doesn't have any time for self-discovery or serious relationships.

All that changes when Reeve arrives, a grad student sent to help with the restoration of their old, historically important family barn. Erika is hesitant to get too close to him – she still hasn't recovered from her father's death, and she doesn't think she's ready for a relationship. Things get even more hectic when Reeve suggests Erika tries show jumping, a competitive equestrian sport, with the help of his aunt who has connections in the field. How will Erika cope with all these changes disrupting her idyllic farm life?

In Jump at the Chance, Karin Halls describes Erika's coming-of-age story, featuring a cast of multiple other characters with their own subplots. The highlights of the book are definitely the uncommon farm setting, as well as Erika's character development. City dwellers like myself will certainly appreciate the seemingly simpler aspects of life in the country, surrounded by animals and nature.

Erika is an average character at the start, but the best part is watching her grow from an unsure young girl to a confident, mature young woman. While she's extremely family-focused in the beginning, she comes to learn that one can balance career and family. Her father's death, which used to hold her back, eventually becomes a motivating force for her. Following your dreams really does work out sometimes.

Unfortunately, the book is not without its weaknesses. Oftentimes, authors ramble and use more words than necessary. The opposite is true here. At only 194 pages long, there are far too few words for everything that is going on. Many descriptions are left out entirely. For instance, Reeve tells Erika that he wants to take her out to "the most unusual place" for dinner. The next scene shows the conversation they have there, with absolutely no description of what makes this place so unusual. We have no idea where they even are.

The short length also leads to everything feeling fast-paced – there is simply far too much plot to stuff into so little words. Reeve arrives on page 6; by page 20, his and Erika's relationship has progressed to the point where she tells him she can't get close to him because she hasn't moved on from her father's death. It felt like it came out of nowhere.

Ultimately, this book would benefit from using the advice of showing and not telling. For the most part, the author does not describe the characters' movements or facial expressions while they are conversing. Things change without warning; in one scene, Erika makes a phone call to Reeve. Mid-conversation, the author writes that Erika calls her family. There are no goodbyes or anything, as if they got cut off while talking. There are multiple other sudden scene changes more drastic than this one.

There are also a number of grammatical errors present. The word "then" is commonly misused in places that require a comma before or after it, as well as some other minor errors. Some sentences feel rather old-fashioned and awkward. For example, "I have an even greater respect for Dad now" would sound more natural if it were simply "I respect Dad even more now."

I wanted to enjoy this book a lot more, but I can't give it more than 2 out of 4 stars due to its improper writing. It definitely deserves more than 1 star for its heartfelt characterization and setting.

Although the book features minimal profanity, a few curses are present. There are strong Christian themes; abortion is discouraged, and Erika wants to save sex for marriage. A minor female villain is shown to be sexually promiscuous, adding to the traditional theme that sex is only for marriage. All in all, older religious people would probably enjoy this book the most.

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Jump at the Chance
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I really found this to be a helpful review, thank you for your specific examples and honest opinion of the book! Adequate scene development is certainly essential for an author's vision to be portrayed effectively. The equestrian world at the center of a love story can be an enjoyable start to a fun read because it's easy to envision and identify with, especially for those of us with a riding background.

It seems the title represents many things in the book: jumping scenes, literal and otherwise, and jumping to conclusions. It's non-fiction; could the author be Erika(rin)?

I've read short books that still feel developed, but this doesn't seem to be one. The author needs to expand on some of the ideas presented. Hopefully, it can be fixed. Thanks!

I really like the premise of this one and love the introduction you have. It just seems that the story needs to be developed and polished a bit more. I hope the author can address some of the issues you mentioned. Thanks for this excellent, thorough review! Cheers:)

AvidBibliophile wrote: ↑16 Sep 2019, 14:32 I really found this to be a helpful review, thank you for your specific examples and honest opinion of the book! Adequate scene development is certainly essential for an author's vision to be portrayed effectively. The equestrian world at the center of a love story can be an enjoyable start to a fun read because it's easy to envision and identify with, especially for those of us with a riding background.

I definitely agree with you, thank you for the thoughtful reply.

While I think the initial idea and setting for this story has promise, it sounds like the author wasn't able to carry it out well, which is unfortunate. The stereotypes featured in the book are a detractor as well. Thanks for your honest review!

I also have problems properly describing things when I'm writing, so I can definitely understand the author's struggles. This is exactly why you need a good editor to point things out and help you polish your work. Thanks for the review!

I go away for a few days and you get an official review published! Congrats on that. Is this a true story? I am surprised to see it in the non-fiction section, based on your review. (Though we all know books sometimes get mis-categorized.) This reminds me of my most recent review where I also felt the book needed to be longer. It does sound like things happened very quickly in this one and with almost no transitions, which would make it hard to read.
I will keep it in mind though, because I still have a soft spot for "girl with a horse" books.

Great review. Funny too! I like your description of the scene with the phone call(s).

It is really sad that such lovely stories are left unjustified with poor editing. I liked your honest review and true to say that it is funny too.

This sounds like a great storyline but if the books is rushed and most things are left out, then its unfortunate. Thanks for this great review.

It sounds as if this could have been a good book if the author had taken the time to flesh out the characters and scenes a little better and get a professional editor to fix the errors. Thanks for a very nice review!

esp1975 wrote: ↑17 Sep 2019, 11:07 I go away for a few days and you get an official review published! Congrats on that. Is this a true story? I am surprised to see it in the non-fiction section, based on your review. (Though we all know books sometimes get mis-categorized.) This reminds me of my most recent review where I also felt the book needed to be longer. It does sound like things happened very quickly in this one and with almost no transitions, which would make it hard to read.
I will keep it in mind though, because I still have a soft spot for "girl with a horse" books.

Thanks so much! I feel like whenever I'm trying my best to write a review, I always have your reviews in the back of my head as an example to strive towards.
Yeah, I was also a bit confused about the genre at first. (Should have mentioned that in the review, oops.) I think this is definitely fiction as certain things are just a bit too 'out there' to be real. But then again, the author mentions her own favorite horse is Ben, and the horse in the book is Ben, so... Another reply here suggested the author might be Erika(rin), who knows?

Miriam Molina wrote: ↑16 Sep 2019, 15:13 It seems the title represents many things in the book: jumping scenes, literal and otherwise, and jumping to conclusions. It's non-fiction; could the author be Erika(rin)?

I love that suggestion, I didn't even think of Erika(rin)! Might be true, but a lot of the scenes in this book are rather unrealistic so I doubt it. It's probably just mislabeled as non-fiction (which I should have mentioned in the review...) The author's real horse and the horse in the book are both Ben, so I guess it's mostly fiction with a lot of the author's personal life mixed in.