Official Review: Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going
Posted: 29 Aug 2020, 18:30
[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going" by Dee.]
When I chose to review Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going, I never thought I would be reading the autobiography of a person that was my Doppelganger. Dee J.C. writes as though she is a lifetime friend visiting for the day. There are many instances in the book where I could literally say "I do that," or "That sounds just like me!" It goes without saying, this book has had a profound impact on how I view my life.
The author broke her life story into three major parts. Part One describes her adolescence and what began molding her "helper" behavior. She was raised in a home where alcoholism and domestic abuse were a daily occurrence until she convinced her father to go to AA meetings. Surviving her upbringing, she felt the need to "rescue" her future boyfriends from their poor lifestyles since she had "experience" with their issues. Part Two details her adult life dealing with her personal substance abuse, the legal system, and the reality that she couldn't save anyone by sacrificing herself. At one point she stated, "Sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves, our attitudes, and our false beliefs." This really hit home as I have low self-esteem from consistently feeling like I disappoint everyone by failing to earn approval growing up. Part Three of her story details how she chose to change her life and focus on her faith in God.
After telling her life story, the author begins to aid readers to learn from her mistakes and offers tools to enhance life. She has a system called the 6 Cs that she uses when making weighted decisions. By Utilizing the 6 Cs (Care, Compassion, Control, Concern, Consideration, and Communication), the ability to avoid dependent behavior and negativity is effortless. The author clarifies codependency as more than just depending on other people. One such example given was "avoidance: some codependent people engage in unhealthy, extreme ways to avoid getting emotionally hurt, avoiding intimacy at all cost". I had to stop and reread that sentence several times thinking I can't really be considered codependent? I don't rely on anyone for my happiness, nor lack thereof; sure as day, avoidance is a very unhealthy coping behavior. She advises in the chapter that being aware is the first step in recovery.
Now aware of my behaviors, my favorite parts of the book became the Appendix Sections at the end. Appendix A gives an emotional scale that allows me to pick how I feel as a starting point. Anything that scores below happiness is an area that I need to work on improving. The author warns that change can take a long time but that it is worth the effort. Appendix C is a list of the insights she hopes readers will gain from the book. Many of them were repeats of notes I had highlighted for myself while reading. Appendix E is an insight exercise involving questions for readers. I am still filling in the answers to the questions but I really like that the author also answers the questions with her own responses.
I am rating this book a 4 out of 4 stars. There is nothing that I dislike about the book and I only found a few grammatical errors. Due to the weighted issues addressing domestic abuse, a rape, drug dependence, and unsavory affiliations, this is a book better suited for adults. What I found to stand out the most, is that the author avoided using profanity, despite some of the situations she faced. I found this book an eye-opening experience for myself. I have adopted the 6 Cs when making major decisions, and find that I am no longer second-guessing myself like I used to.
******
Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
When I chose to review Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going, I never thought I would be reading the autobiography of a person that was my Doppelganger. Dee J.C. writes as though she is a lifetime friend visiting for the day. There are many instances in the book where I could literally say "I do that," or "That sounds just like me!" It goes without saying, this book has had a profound impact on how I view my life.
The author broke her life story into three major parts. Part One describes her adolescence and what began molding her "helper" behavior. She was raised in a home where alcoholism and domestic abuse were a daily occurrence until she convinced her father to go to AA meetings. Surviving her upbringing, she felt the need to "rescue" her future boyfriends from their poor lifestyles since she had "experience" with their issues. Part Two details her adult life dealing with her personal substance abuse, the legal system, and the reality that she couldn't save anyone by sacrificing herself. At one point she stated, "Sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves, our attitudes, and our false beliefs." This really hit home as I have low self-esteem from consistently feeling like I disappoint everyone by failing to earn approval growing up. Part Three of her story details how she chose to change her life and focus on her faith in God.
After telling her life story, the author begins to aid readers to learn from her mistakes and offers tools to enhance life. She has a system called the 6 Cs that she uses when making weighted decisions. By Utilizing the 6 Cs (Care, Compassion, Control, Concern, Consideration, and Communication), the ability to avoid dependent behavior and negativity is effortless. The author clarifies codependency as more than just depending on other people. One such example given was "avoidance: some codependent people engage in unhealthy, extreme ways to avoid getting emotionally hurt, avoiding intimacy at all cost". I had to stop and reread that sentence several times thinking I can't really be considered codependent? I don't rely on anyone for my happiness, nor lack thereof; sure as day, avoidance is a very unhealthy coping behavior. She advises in the chapter that being aware is the first step in recovery.
Now aware of my behaviors, my favorite parts of the book became the Appendix Sections at the end. Appendix A gives an emotional scale that allows me to pick how I feel as a starting point. Anything that scores below happiness is an area that I need to work on improving. The author warns that change can take a long time but that it is worth the effort. Appendix C is a list of the insights she hopes readers will gain from the book. Many of them were repeats of notes I had highlighted for myself while reading. Appendix E is an insight exercise involving questions for readers. I am still filling in the answers to the questions but I really like that the author also answers the questions with her own responses.
I am rating this book a 4 out of 4 stars. There is nothing that I dislike about the book and I only found a few grammatical errors. Due to the weighted issues addressing domestic abuse, a rape, drug dependence, and unsavory affiliations, this is a book better suited for adults. What I found to stand out the most, is that the author avoided using profanity, despite some of the situations she faced. I found this book an eye-opening experience for myself. I have adopted the 6 Cs when making major decisions, and find that I am no longer second-guessing myself like I used to.
******
Who Am I, Where Am I, Where Am I Going
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Great work!