Review by Bertha Jackson -- Dying Well

Post by **Bertha Jackson** » 06 Sep 2020, 16:08

[Following is a volunteer review of "Dying Well" by Susan Ducharme Hoben.]

4 out of 4 stars

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Dying Well: Our Journey of Love and Loss by Susan Ducharme Hoben is a written accounting of Susan and Bruce’s lives after Bruce is diagnosed with cancer and given three months to live. Susan begins their story with her surviving breast cancer and heart surgery. They host annual “Celebrations of Life” to commemorate her survival. With everything going so good, it comes as quite a shock to find out Bruce has cancer seven years later. She goes into detail about the treatment options and difficult decisions that Bruce has to make. Does he want quantity or quality of life? They must have difficult conversations with their family and friends. Bruce struggles within himself to determine if he had lived a good life and if he had had an impact on others. With a good support system of family, friends, and doctors, Bruce was able to choose how to die, just as he had chosen how to live his life.

Susan does an excellent job covering all the issues that someone with a terminal illness goes through. There are many loose ends to tie up and emotions run high. Anger that a healthy lifestyle had been maintained and he still got cancer. They have to explain to their grandchildren what is happening with their grandfather without scaring them from ever getting sick. Emotionally letting go, turning inward, and wondering what the afterlife is like is a concern for many people who are dying.

I really liked this book because of how Susan and Bruce focused on living in the present, not the past or the future. Susan was honest in her feelings of fear, despair, and anger that this was happening to her husband. Although Bruce was the one dying, he demonstrated great strength by being supportive of Susan, his family, and friends. He was always more concerned about not upsetting them than the fact he was dying. There are many good examples of what they did throughout the book. There was nothing about this book that I disliked. The story flowed smoothly, was well-written, and was error-free.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with a terminal illness, either themselves or with a loved one. It provides great guidance for tying up loose ends, communication issues, and provides support for both the positive and negative emotions that you go through.

This is an exceptionally well-written book with no grammatical or typographical errors. There are no erotic scenes and only has one borderline piece of profanity when they are given t-shirts with the words “F#CK CANCER” across them. I consider this borderline because anyone who has had cancer or knows someone who has, probably will not be offended. In fact, they will probably agree. I rank this book 4 out of 4 stars.

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Dying Well
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Alice Ngugi · Post by **Alice Ngugi** » 12 Sep 2020, 01:13

It is indeed a relevant book. One way or another we may know a friend or relative with terminal illnesses. I think reading this kind of book definitely helps one know they are not alone. Great review