Official Review: Infidelity- Exploding the Myths

[ParadiseLost19]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Infidelity- Exploding the Myths" by Julia Hartley Moore.]

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This is, I found, a particularly fascinating book. As a work of non-fiction, it does a very good job of keeping the reader informed as well as entertained. Not only does it do what it says on the tin (busting common myths about cheating), the author also goes above and beyond by providing examples and personal experiences, which make everything that is said relatable and believable.

What I enjoyed in particular was the encouraging, and sometimes sarcastic, tone that was maintained throughout the book, which was implicated through repetition (“You set your relationship up the way you want it to be” made several appearances). This was effective in that, while it is obvious that the author knows what she is talking about more than most, I didn’t feel as though I was being talked down to. The reader is clearly addressed as an equal in possession of a functioning brain, which is more than I can say for some non-fiction books I’ve encountered.

Leading on from that, there is the matter of blame, which of course had to be addressed in light of the topic. While there is one section that sort of covers this (“Who’s the boss? Wives who blame the other woman and confront her boundaries”), it is a running topic throughout. What I find especially refreshing is that the blame for infidelity is never assigned to one party alone, but rather to both in more or less equal measures (the philanderer decided to cheat, but the partner condones it if they do nothing about it).

However, for everything I enjoyed, there are also things I didn’t quite like or agree with. For instance, there are one or two occasions when it’s said that young women have more sexual experience. While that is probably statistically true, it can be quite generalising, and there are quite a few young women (myself included) who have little or no sexual experience, so perhaps it would be better if the language used on were a little more tentative on instances such as this. The same can be said for one particularly controversial point near the end – “When people treat you badly, it’s because you let them” – as this is rather context dependent.

Another suggestion for improvement I can offer is that the language can sometimes be a little discriminating towards men. While this was justified in the Acknowledgements section, I would recommend moving it into the introduction or the first chapter, since a lot of people don’t read the acknowledgements.

Overall, Infidelity – Exploding the Myths is a good balance of informative, sympathetic and entertaining, so it gets 3 out of 4 stars from me.

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