Review of The Ultimate Love
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Sylvano Mwansa
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Review of The Ultimate Love
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Ultimate Love" by Sherine Anniruth.]
ONLINE BOOK CLUB –BOOK REVIEW
The Ultimate Love by Sherine Anniruth
The ultimate Love by Sherine Anniruth is a non-fiction book devoted to the memory of her son, who died at the age of 25, after suffering from cancer for six months. Nadeem was the firstborn in the family and left behind his parents, a brother, and a sister. The book contains an outpouring of emotions and feelings through which the author has expressed the depth of her grief-- four years after the death of her son. She hopes that by writing this book she will share in the grief of those similarly placed and provide them an opportunity to understand their situation and override their circumstances.
Sherine describes the pain she felt when her son died as ‘piercing and numbing’ and claims that the pain has only reduced in intensity but will not disappear. Through a quote, she equates the pain she has suffered to that of a person whose leg has not completely healed but has learned to dance with a limp. Thus she cries often and questions why her son had to die before his time. She hurts seeing other people’s children prosper, marry, bear their own children, or celebrate birthdays. To keep her son’s memory alive, the mother has erected a ‘shrine’ in the house upon which she lights a candle every morning. She has kept his room intact and goes there to clean and tidy up. She posts quotes, and images on a website created in her son’s name. She communes with her son in spirit, as she looks out for signs indicating his presence.
I was inclined to consider her mannerisms excessive and more likely to hinder the recovery process. However, we should not allow our judgment to gloss over the strong bond that mother and son shared. Nadeem was greatly endeared to his mother: “A caring, loving and kind person who put other people’s interests before his own, a hero who achieved much in the short time he lived on earth, a role model to his siblings, a person who exhibited a strong enduring spirit even at the point of his death.” Sherine cannot manage to brush aside --or even push to the back of her mind-- memories of the times they used to lie together and talk about his early childhood, the times they cooked or went shopping together, the daily morning pecks on her cheek with the usual “I love you, Mum”. Even when the son was giving up his ghost the mother was there with him. When the son was ailing the two of them remained together providing strength and encouragement to each other.
Sherine offers guidance and advice to people who may find themselves in similar circumstances. For them, she has a number of dos and don’ts. She thinks it’s wrong to face grief with passive resignation, hopelessness, sorrow, prolonged denial, impulsive satisfaction, or pleasure-seeking. Instead, she recommends that afflicted people should --among other things—seek meaningful rest, share their experiences with other people, and renew their trust in God if they are believers. They should also talk to family members or professionals, and adopting useful pass-times like writing or singing which she herself has taken up.
What I don’t like about the book is its repetitiveness. There are twenty-two chapters in the book, each with its own sub-heading, but with remarkably similar content. This, however, is excusable because other themes notwithstanding, the book is essentially a eulogy. It’s like beads on a Rosary: by repeating herself, the author has managed to create a garland around the neck of her departed son. I like her expert mix of similes, metaphors, quotations, and images to blend her narrative. Another likable trait is her frankness: She doesn’t hide her feelings and actions, and by so doing, she has unwittingly illuminated her character as a loving mother. She also has a subtle way of silencing criticism when she makes the following assertions: There is no grief stronger than that caused by the loss of one’s child; no reason, however sound, can justify the passing of a child at their young age; no amount of time can completely obliterate the pain and grief that the parents feel after the death of their child; mothers have a stronger bond with her children, and men react to grief differently. I think she has defended herself well, though these statements are debatable and might depend on circumstances, personality, and other factors.
The book is well-edited as it contains few errors. It contains no profanity or vulgar language. I give it a rating of 4 out of 4 stars.
This book must have a special appeal to women in general and mothers in particular, so I recommend it to them. But I also recommend it to everyone else -- except those who are not old enough to understand -- because we are all bound to lose a loved one if we haven’t already. I wish to congratulate the author on her quest to secure long-term memories for her son. Through this book, Sherine has not only succeeded in talking to a wide audience, but she has also bestowed some immortality upon her son: As long as this book remains in circulation, it will provide the desired virtual extension to his short life.
******
The Ultimate Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
ONLINE BOOK CLUB –BOOK REVIEW
The Ultimate Love by Sherine Anniruth
The ultimate Love by Sherine Anniruth is a non-fiction book devoted to the memory of her son, who died at the age of 25, after suffering from cancer for six months. Nadeem was the firstborn in the family and left behind his parents, a brother, and a sister. The book contains an outpouring of emotions and feelings through which the author has expressed the depth of her grief-- four years after the death of her son. She hopes that by writing this book she will share in the grief of those similarly placed and provide them an opportunity to understand their situation and override their circumstances.
Sherine describes the pain she felt when her son died as ‘piercing and numbing’ and claims that the pain has only reduced in intensity but will not disappear. Through a quote, she equates the pain she has suffered to that of a person whose leg has not completely healed but has learned to dance with a limp. Thus she cries often and questions why her son had to die before his time. She hurts seeing other people’s children prosper, marry, bear their own children, or celebrate birthdays. To keep her son’s memory alive, the mother has erected a ‘shrine’ in the house upon which she lights a candle every morning. She has kept his room intact and goes there to clean and tidy up. She posts quotes, and images on a website created in her son’s name. She communes with her son in spirit, as she looks out for signs indicating his presence.
I was inclined to consider her mannerisms excessive and more likely to hinder the recovery process. However, we should not allow our judgment to gloss over the strong bond that mother and son shared. Nadeem was greatly endeared to his mother: “A caring, loving and kind person who put other people’s interests before his own, a hero who achieved much in the short time he lived on earth, a role model to his siblings, a person who exhibited a strong enduring spirit even at the point of his death.” Sherine cannot manage to brush aside --or even push to the back of her mind-- memories of the times they used to lie together and talk about his early childhood, the times they cooked or went shopping together, the daily morning pecks on her cheek with the usual “I love you, Mum”. Even when the son was giving up his ghost the mother was there with him. When the son was ailing the two of them remained together providing strength and encouragement to each other.
Sherine offers guidance and advice to people who may find themselves in similar circumstances. For them, she has a number of dos and don’ts. She thinks it’s wrong to face grief with passive resignation, hopelessness, sorrow, prolonged denial, impulsive satisfaction, or pleasure-seeking. Instead, she recommends that afflicted people should --among other things—seek meaningful rest, share their experiences with other people, and renew their trust in God if they are believers. They should also talk to family members or professionals, and adopting useful pass-times like writing or singing which she herself has taken up.
What I don’t like about the book is its repetitiveness. There are twenty-two chapters in the book, each with its own sub-heading, but with remarkably similar content. This, however, is excusable because other themes notwithstanding, the book is essentially a eulogy. It’s like beads on a Rosary: by repeating herself, the author has managed to create a garland around the neck of her departed son. I like her expert mix of similes, metaphors, quotations, and images to blend her narrative. Another likable trait is her frankness: She doesn’t hide her feelings and actions, and by so doing, she has unwittingly illuminated her character as a loving mother. She also has a subtle way of silencing criticism when she makes the following assertions: There is no grief stronger than that caused by the loss of one’s child; no reason, however sound, can justify the passing of a child at their young age; no amount of time can completely obliterate the pain and grief that the parents feel after the death of their child; mothers have a stronger bond with her children, and men react to grief differently. I think she has defended herself well, though these statements are debatable and might depend on circumstances, personality, and other factors.
The book is well-edited as it contains few errors. It contains no profanity or vulgar language. I give it a rating of 4 out of 4 stars.
This book must have a special appeal to women in general and mothers in particular, so I recommend it to them. But I also recommend it to everyone else -- except those who are not old enough to understand -- because we are all bound to lose a loved one if we haven’t already. I wish to congratulate the author on her quest to secure long-term memories for her son. Through this book, Sherine has not only succeeded in talking to a wide audience, but she has also bestowed some immortality upon her son: As long as this book remains in circulation, it will provide the desired virtual extension to his short life.
******
The Ultimate Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Latest Review: Kalayla by Jeannie Nicholas
