Review ↠ The End of Eve: A Memoir, By Ariel Gore
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Sparrow
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Review ↠ The End of Eve: A Memoir, By Ariel Gore
TITLE: The End of Eve: A Memoir
AUTHOR: Ariel Gore
GENRE: Non-Fiction/Memoir
TAGS: Non-Fiction/Memoir, Biography, Contemporary, United States, New Mexico, Portland Oregon, Mothers & Daughters, Death & Dying, Palliative Care,
RATING (from 1-5): ★★★★½
This book just blew me away.
My introduction to Gore's work was about 12 years ago, during the third trimester of my pregnancy - The Mother Trip jumped out at me while I was perusing the myriad of Stepford-Wife style pregnancy memoirs at my local bookshop. Gore's writing, with the Mother trip, and with her follow up books, left something to be desired- but her story, her voice, and her sage-mama wisdom left me smitten with her.
Most of her books have fallen into the motherhood role, and collectively, they're similar- part of what makes the writing style problematic for me is that Gore seems to waver between writing a memoir, or a self-help book. What you end up with a combination of the two, but the voices are so different that it can be jarring at times- not bc she's displaying two different personalities (she's not), but bc she's clearly a very, very intelligent and well spoken, so when she's writing self help/reference/how to type chapters, it feels like you're reading a well-styled professional's book. When she's writing her memoir chapters, she's still highly intelligent & well spoken, but much warmer, more relaxed, and highly personal. It doesn't always work, but none of her books are bad or unreadable- quite the opposite. Irregardless, Gore, as herself, has always been reason enough for me to keep reading anything she put out. So when I heard she was working on The End of Eve- a memoir about her ordeal as primary caretaker for a mother she often struggled with- I jumped on ordering it.
I should also mention that because I've read her past work, about being a mother, I was already somewhat familiar with the fact that she has a rocky relationship with Eve, her mother. You don't need to read her other stuff to appreciate or understand this novel, but to clarify, this is not a sad, sappy, but incredibly sweet story about the unbreakable bonds of motherhood, as the daughter cares for her mother and simultaneously questions how she'll ever live without her. That aspect of it is what resonated most with me, as I have a tumultuous relationship with my own mother, and typically, I avoid mother-daughter collaborations or plot themes like the plague. I can't relate, they don't do anything for me- but this was an exception. I'm not saying you need to have a bad relationship with your mother to “get” this book either; I just want to give you some idea of the tone and tension that emanates from this book from page one.
That Gore could have been raised the way she was, and become such an incredible, strong, talented, woman and an incredible mother, despite her upbringing, is something I have a deep respect and awe of. Eve (Ariel's mother) is fascinating enough in her own right- a complete narcissist, but also a passionate artist, who dated Henry Miller in her heyday and lived a rich and vivid bohemian lifestyle. When she is diagnosed with terminal cancer, she just presumes that Ariel is going to care for her, and amazingly, that's exactly what Gore does.
Most people naturally are inclined to be caregivers for their parents, b/c there is a sense of obligation and familial duty to care for the people who once cared for us- but Gore more or less raised herself. Yet she put her entire life on hold, sells her home, moves to another state, and dives headfirst into what she knew could very well break her spirit.
The book is the story of that journey- from Eve's diagnosis, to the multiple moves, changes, and moods she expects Ariel to quietly go through on her behalf, to the end of Eve's life. One minute she's manic and demanding their new home be entirely redecorated in expensive décor, the next she's threatening to kill a worker for almost scratching her cabinets. Somedays she's manipulative and cruel to her daughter, crossing her out of her will and instead adding in a handy man she'd only recently met and hired, only to add Ariel back a few days later. She spends money she doesn't have, demands total and complete devotion and worship, terrorizes the hospice nurses that come to visit & kicks Ariel out of Ariel's new home, which she only bought bc she had to sell her previous, back in Portland, so she could move to NM and care for Eve.
Ariel spirals into debt and exhaustion as she tries to provide palliative care for Eve, raise her own son, and maintain her relationship with a selfish partner. Her friends visit; new ones are made. The medical staff that filter in and out (the turnover rate was a bit high) eventually are weeded & develop into a small, core group who remain dedicated and supportive to both Eve and Ariel. New love blossoms. Eve outlives her original expected death “timeline”, Ariel tries to pick herself up and stand her ground, telling her mother no when she needs to, and she struggles to remember her own needs in this chaos, but her newly forged family holds her up when she can't, and they bandage the wounds with huge dinners and a collective recognition of the need for togetherness. Sometimes the family you find is stronger than the one you're born to.
I read the book in a single day- just couldn't put it down. Finishing a book in a day is something I did often before I had my son, but regrettably, I rarely can afford myself the luxury these days- but I made time for this one. . She didn't pepper her recollections with self-help advice; instead she just keeps pouring it all out, bleeding for the pages, and carrying you with her through the massive highs and lows of the journey.
This is Gore's opus.
I think anyone could find something in this book that moves them. This is Gore, vulnerable, raw, shell-shocked, and incredibly strong- and this is the kind of woman the world needs more of.
- - -
❧ A note on format: I bought this as an ebook in epub format; the layout was excellent and entirely compatible with my tablet☙
AUTHOR: Ariel Gore
GENRE: Non-Fiction/Memoir
TAGS: Non-Fiction/Memoir, Biography, Contemporary, United States, New Mexico, Portland Oregon, Mothers & Daughters, Death & Dying, Palliative Care,
RATING (from 1-5): ★★★★½
This book just blew me away.
My introduction to Gore's work was about 12 years ago, during the third trimester of my pregnancy - The Mother Trip jumped out at me while I was perusing the myriad of Stepford-Wife style pregnancy memoirs at my local bookshop. Gore's writing, with the Mother trip, and with her follow up books, left something to be desired- but her story, her voice, and her sage-mama wisdom left me smitten with her.
Most of her books have fallen into the motherhood role, and collectively, they're similar- part of what makes the writing style problematic for me is that Gore seems to waver between writing a memoir, or a self-help book. What you end up with a combination of the two, but the voices are so different that it can be jarring at times- not bc she's displaying two different personalities (she's not), but bc she's clearly a very, very intelligent and well spoken, so when she's writing self help/reference/how to type chapters, it feels like you're reading a well-styled professional's book. When she's writing her memoir chapters, she's still highly intelligent & well spoken, but much warmer, more relaxed, and highly personal. It doesn't always work, but none of her books are bad or unreadable- quite the opposite. Irregardless, Gore, as herself, has always been reason enough for me to keep reading anything she put out. So when I heard she was working on The End of Eve- a memoir about her ordeal as primary caretaker for a mother she often struggled with- I jumped on ordering it.
I should also mention that because I've read her past work, about being a mother, I was already somewhat familiar with the fact that she has a rocky relationship with Eve, her mother. You don't need to read her other stuff to appreciate or understand this novel, but to clarify, this is not a sad, sappy, but incredibly sweet story about the unbreakable bonds of motherhood, as the daughter cares for her mother and simultaneously questions how she'll ever live without her. That aspect of it is what resonated most with me, as I have a tumultuous relationship with my own mother, and typically, I avoid mother-daughter collaborations or plot themes like the plague. I can't relate, they don't do anything for me- but this was an exception. I'm not saying you need to have a bad relationship with your mother to “get” this book either; I just want to give you some idea of the tone and tension that emanates from this book from page one.
That Gore could have been raised the way she was, and become such an incredible, strong, talented, woman and an incredible mother, despite her upbringing, is something I have a deep respect and awe of. Eve (Ariel's mother) is fascinating enough in her own right- a complete narcissist, but also a passionate artist, who dated Henry Miller in her heyday and lived a rich and vivid bohemian lifestyle. When she is diagnosed with terminal cancer, she just presumes that Ariel is going to care for her, and amazingly, that's exactly what Gore does.
Most people naturally are inclined to be caregivers for their parents, b/c there is a sense of obligation and familial duty to care for the people who once cared for us- but Gore more or less raised herself. Yet she put her entire life on hold, sells her home, moves to another state, and dives headfirst into what she knew could very well break her spirit.
The book is the story of that journey- from Eve's diagnosis, to the multiple moves, changes, and moods she expects Ariel to quietly go through on her behalf, to the end of Eve's life. One minute she's manic and demanding their new home be entirely redecorated in expensive décor, the next she's threatening to kill a worker for almost scratching her cabinets. Somedays she's manipulative and cruel to her daughter, crossing her out of her will and instead adding in a handy man she'd only recently met and hired, only to add Ariel back a few days later. She spends money she doesn't have, demands total and complete devotion and worship, terrorizes the hospice nurses that come to visit & kicks Ariel out of Ariel's new home, which she only bought bc she had to sell her previous, back in Portland, so she could move to NM and care for Eve.
Ariel spirals into debt and exhaustion as she tries to provide palliative care for Eve, raise her own son, and maintain her relationship with a selfish partner. Her friends visit; new ones are made. The medical staff that filter in and out (the turnover rate was a bit high) eventually are weeded & develop into a small, core group who remain dedicated and supportive to both Eve and Ariel. New love blossoms. Eve outlives her original expected death “timeline”, Ariel tries to pick herself up and stand her ground, telling her mother no when she needs to, and she struggles to remember her own needs in this chaos, but her newly forged family holds her up when she can't, and they bandage the wounds with huge dinners and a collective recognition of the need for togetherness. Sometimes the family you find is stronger than the one you're born to.
I read the book in a single day- just couldn't put it down. Finishing a book in a day is something I did often before I had my son, but regrettably, I rarely can afford myself the luxury these days- but I made time for this one. . She didn't pepper her recollections with self-help advice; instead she just keeps pouring it all out, bleeding for the pages, and carrying you with her through the massive highs and lows of the journey.
This is Gore's opus.
I think anyone could find something in this book that moves them. This is Gore, vulnerable, raw, shell-shocked, and incredibly strong- and this is the kind of woman the world needs more of.
- - -
❧ A note on format: I bought this as an ebook in epub format; the layout was excellent and entirely compatible with my tablet☙
