Review of Smart Love
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Huini Hellen
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Review of Smart Love
[Following is a volunteer review of "Smart Love" by Vincent Fudge II.]
Is there any merit to the idea that those who see their partner as their better half, their alpha and omega, and everything in between, find it simpler to maintain their relationship? What sort of relationship should we strive to establish? Is it the connection that is never imperfect or the one that gets better all the time? If things go wrong in our relationships, are we to allow our self-justification to be validated by our friends who share our cognitive processes and whose viewpoints are equally distorted by the projections we give them? All of these questions are answered in Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II. This well-written, quasi-fictional memoir details a riveting year of the author's attempts to rescue his marriage.
This is the author's second book, which I am reviewing. I must admit that he consistently writes excellently and with a strong voice, raises comprehensive arguments and enlightens his readers. These characteristics set his work apart from other memoirs. The first thing I found appealing was how the difficulties were presented from the perspectives of both the husband and the wife. I was surprised at how hard each of them attempted to hone their communication skills by sending Post-it notes to a Conversation Box with what appeared to be controversial topics for debate, where they would later participate in a communication exercise. As for the author's ruthless honesty in describing their first argument with Ebony, his wife, and how it led to an impasse that kept them from reconciling and nurtured mistrust until they separated, I couldn't help but feel empathetic towards the emotional situation of the author.
Furthermore, I appreciate the author's practical suggestions, which I found unique and vital strategies for steering even the most difficult partnerships in the right lane. The “Shared Vision” strategy was my favourite and what I thought would be most appealing to couples. With this technique, both partners would enter the relationship with a shared vision of what a successful partnership entails. They'd also look to see if they had similar expectations for the partnership. For example, if one person sees marriage while the other sees friends with benefits, the relationship will fail. Further developing this strategy, the author contends that pledges regarding how the relationship will be kept in a healthy state should be recorded using a “SMART” format that encourages consistency in what is promised.
The author included several Bible texts and remarks from various well-known people to support his techniques for creating healthier relationships. These two literary pieces were informative, inspiring, and triggered considerable self-reflection for me. They were also my most loved features in the book. I found one grammatical error in the book, which convinces me that professional editing was done before publication. Because of this, I see no reason to deny Smart Love four out of four stars.
There is nothing I liked least about this book. I learnt incredible lessons about how creating healthy communication norms could reduce the likelihood that a productive discussion will fail or degenerate into a dispute. I recommend it to young adults because they may learn a lot about handling their relationships, both with those who are just getting married and those who are already married but going through rifts in their relationship.
******
Smart Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Is there any merit to the idea that those who see their partner as their better half, their alpha and omega, and everything in between, find it simpler to maintain their relationship? What sort of relationship should we strive to establish? Is it the connection that is never imperfect or the one that gets better all the time? If things go wrong in our relationships, are we to allow our self-justification to be validated by our friends who share our cognitive processes and whose viewpoints are equally distorted by the projections we give them? All of these questions are answered in Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II. This well-written, quasi-fictional memoir details a riveting year of the author's attempts to rescue his marriage.
This is the author's second book, which I am reviewing. I must admit that he consistently writes excellently and with a strong voice, raises comprehensive arguments and enlightens his readers. These characteristics set his work apart from other memoirs. The first thing I found appealing was how the difficulties were presented from the perspectives of both the husband and the wife. I was surprised at how hard each of them attempted to hone their communication skills by sending Post-it notes to a Conversation Box with what appeared to be controversial topics for debate, where they would later participate in a communication exercise. As for the author's ruthless honesty in describing their first argument with Ebony, his wife, and how it led to an impasse that kept them from reconciling and nurtured mistrust until they separated, I couldn't help but feel empathetic towards the emotional situation of the author.
Furthermore, I appreciate the author's practical suggestions, which I found unique and vital strategies for steering even the most difficult partnerships in the right lane. The “Shared Vision” strategy was my favourite and what I thought would be most appealing to couples. With this technique, both partners would enter the relationship with a shared vision of what a successful partnership entails. They'd also look to see if they had similar expectations for the partnership. For example, if one person sees marriage while the other sees friends with benefits, the relationship will fail. Further developing this strategy, the author contends that pledges regarding how the relationship will be kept in a healthy state should be recorded using a “SMART” format that encourages consistency in what is promised.
The author included several Bible texts and remarks from various well-known people to support his techniques for creating healthier relationships. These two literary pieces were informative, inspiring, and triggered considerable self-reflection for me. They were also my most loved features in the book. I found one grammatical error in the book, which convinces me that professional editing was done before publication. Because of this, I see no reason to deny Smart Love four out of four stars.
There is nothing I liked least about this book. I learnt incredible lessons about how creating healthy communication norms could reduce the likelihood that a productive discussion will fail or degenerate into a dispute. I recommend it to young adults because they may learn a lot about handling their relationships, both with those who are just getting married and those who are already married but going through rifts in their relationship.
******
Smart Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. - Marcus Aurelius
Latest Review: A Walk in the Twilight by John J Bosco Jr.
