OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Loveyoubye: Holding Fast, Letting Go, and Then There's the Dog" by Rossandra White.]

Loveyoubye: Holding Fast, Letting Go and Then There’s the Dog by Rossandra White is the memoir of a California woman dealing with her declining marriage, her mentally-challenged brother’s problems in South Africa, and her dog’s chronic health issues. It is a “perfect storm” of stresses, which the author recounts in an honest and loving way. Rossandra White is a middle-aged woman who has been married for twenty-five years to a man who has issues. Her second husband Larry is a quirky guy who has taken to sleeping on the couch and disappearing for weeks at a time, leaving notes that say things like “Gone to Mexico. Adios”. He can be lively and sociable to neighbors, but also a loner who is distant emotionally. She has put up with his odd behavior for years, but is starting to feel that she needs to resolve her marital issues and move forward in her life. One of the couple’s two dogs, Sweetpea, has a damaged kidney and needs medicine administered at home. Sweetpea’s health issues seem to keep the couple together, as well as going through the motions of a long-term marriage.

Rossandra’s mentally-challenged brother Garth still lives in South Africa, and she goes to visit him to deal with his poor housing situation. They grew up in Northern Rhodesia (now Zambia), Southern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), and South Africa, where their father worked. There are long passages that recount the Africa of her childhood, and memories of her parents, who are both deceased. The book is a meandering look back at the author’s childhood in Africa and her marriage, while at the same time discussing her current life dealing with her troubled marriage, Garth’s needs, and her dog’s health concerns. The passages about Africa are scattered and a bit boring at times. I did find some of the details interesting. However, the story jumps around and becomes too disjointed. I would compare it to someone recounting different events in their life that are unrelated, along with events from the present, and you become overloaded from so many different topics being discussed at the same time. It’s as if it were an elderly relative talking your ear off at a family gathering for hours about unrelated things that occurred over the course of their life. Some of the incidents might be interesting, but after a while you start tuning them out.

I particularly enjoyed the beginning of the book, with the detailed descriptions of Rossandra’s Laguna Beach small “Hobbit” cottage. The house has been a work in progess during their marriage, with Larry making additions and renovations. I could picture the staircase to the loft, built with no railings, as well as well as the bathroom with no door. The author’s dogs are the couple’s “children”, although they also each have grown children from previous marriages. Early in the book, it is clear that Larry’s disappearing acts and behavior causes rifts in their marriage. Still, Rossandra loves him and tries to keep the marriage going. She takes time off from work to visit her grown son Layne and his family in South Africa, and to help find a more suitable place for her brother Garth to live. Garth lives with a physically-handicapped woman in a shabby room in a bad neighborhood, and Rossandra helps them find a better place to live.

The author recounts the stresses in her life in a heartfelt way. Some of the best parts of the book are the details of the early times in her marriage and her dogs Sweetpea and Jake. Her love for her husband, amidst her ambivalence over what to do about their marriage, comes alive in the pages. You can relate to her stress overload of dealing with different family issues at the same time. I was rooting for her to move forward in her life and have some happiness and peace.

I found the pacing of the story extremely slow at times. I am normally a fast reader, but I struggled to get through long sections of the book. Some passages dragged on, although there were small, interesting details scattered throughout the book. I think a good editor could have assisted the author into making some of the passages more concise and the book less of a rambling, scattered story. I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars.

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Loveyoubye: Holding Fast, Letting Go, and Then There's the Dog
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I really like the title of this book.

Thanks for a great review!

Thanks for the kind words. As for the title of the book, I am assuming you are referring to the first part "Loveyoubye". The rest of the title, after the colon, is certainly a mouthful!

It's a mouthful for sure, but the dog part makes me crack up as well.

I wish the dogs were featured more prominently in the book

It seems like it would be one of the main points of the book. I guess because you talked about how it was the best part of the book for you.

It was the best part of the book, although not featured prominently enough. Much of the book is about the author's crumbling marriage and her trip to Africa to visit her brother, including flashbacks to her childhood.

The "Loveyoubye" part definite suggests the crumbling marriage part. It also sounds like it would make a really awesome title for a chick lit novel. It's one of those things where I go, "Aw man! Why didn't I think of that first!?!"

ALynn,
In the book, there is a reference to a character who often says that term when saying goodbye. As you mentioned, the title likely has a dual meaning, and also refers to the author's crumbling marriage.

Thank you for the well written review. The book isn't my cup of tea anyway, but I enjoyed reading your review.

gali wrote:Thank you for the well written review. The book isn't my cup of tea anyway, but I enjoyed reading your review.

Thanks Gali for the compliment. Actually, I usually like memoirs. Unfortunately, the book didn't live up to my expectations, although there were a few good parts.

I liked the review too, and it seems like an interesting book. At the end of the day (as loathe as I am to use that expression), it's always about the dog, isn't it? Loveyoubye is a cute title. It reminds me of a book's title I read twenty-two years ago (how old am I???) called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me! That book was horrible--I can still remember ripping it apart and heaving it across the room. But it's cool to have a title that captures that feeling of ambivalence(?) so well! I agree with ALynn--why didn't I come up with such a cute title? How about, Hateyouhello?

Zeldas_lullaby - Thanks for the kind words. The book does have a few interesting parts, and I wish I could have given it an extra 1/2 star. There is always that gray area between stars.

I do like your idea for a title, Hateyouhello Actually, your other phrase would make an even better title, "it's always about the dog, isn't it?"

You're welcome. One thing I've come to realize in this day of Internet is that well-written reviews are helpful. Does anyone else out there remember life before online reviews?

Yeah, I know what you mean about the gray areas. The review blog I used to have didn't utilize a starred system, it just had my thoughts. That makes is so much easier! And I kind of have the feeling too, about Loveyoubye, that it's on the fence somewhere between stars. Like, it can be so hard to pinpoint if a book is fair, good, great, etc. If I read it, I'll chime in further.

To be completely honest, though, it did used to be all about the dog... until I brought home the kitten.

zeldas_lullaby wrote: You're welcome. One thing I've come to realize in this day of Internet is that well-written reviews are helpful. Does anyone else out there remember life before online reviews?

Yeah, I know what you mean about the gray areas. The review blog I used to have didn't utilize a starred system, it just had my thoughts. That makes is so much easier! And I kind of have the feeling too, about Loveyoubye, that it's on the fence somewhere between stars. Like, it can be so hard to pinpoint if a book is fair, good, great, etc. If I read it, I'll chime in further.

To be completely honest, though, it did used to be all about the dog... until I brought home the kitten.

Before the Internet, I think newspapers, such as the New York Times, had extraordinary power over book recommendations. Considering that there is only a certain number of books that a newspaper has space to review, imagine the number of books that were ignored and not even reviewed at all.