Official Review: The Last Taboo by Rosemary Agonito

[Ryan]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Last Taboo" by Rosemary Agonito.]

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3 out of 4 stars

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In a society increasingly devoted to parenthood, and motherhood most especially, saying “no” to having children has remained an alien concept despite the work of many generations of feminist scholars. Now, in an attempt to summarize and collate many of those debates, Rosemary Agonito explores the struggles that women face as they attempt to resist dominant contemporary ideologies concerning the binary relationship between womanhood and motherhood and offers support for those women who consider The Last Taboo: Saying No to Motherhood.

Richly sourced, the book offers anecdotal, statistical, personal and scholarly debate surrounding the issue and leaves few avenues unexplored. Beginning with a brief account of many of the key characteristics of parenting throughout history -– considering medieval peasantry and their labour-based necessity to raise children as well the modern idolization of the child and the various New Parenting methods relating to it -– Agonito explores the patriarchal ideologies that govern the various ways in which women have been for millennia appreciated as mere child-bearers. Though well-researched, this section could certainly have been expanded so that the ideologies familiar to the modern reader are more traceable and clear. One might consider, for example, the religious (but not necessarily monotheistic) roots of these ideologies from the ancient Greeks and the figure of Aphrodite to the symbolic potency of the Virgin Mary which have contributed to a contemporary understanding of female fertility and, inextricably, femininity.

It is important to note that despite its focus on motherhood the argument is not exclusive only to women and much can be applied to men. Indeed, there are moments in which Agonito rightly considers the pitfalls into which women place themselves in their attempt to become the perfect mother, most particularly believing in the dated stereotype of the incapable father. Although littered with bad male role models (though there are as many bad females ones), the author recognizes the ongoing attempt of many men to challenge their status as “hopeless” fathers, only to find their efforts frustrated by a mother who seeks to do everything (supposedly) “naturally” better. This is incredibly important because it points not just to a “cultural mandate” administered to women but one that is also administered to men. After all, not every man wields the sceptre symbolically attributed to him and even men are susceptible to cultural conditioning. For those who might be put off because they assume the book is a feminist rant, they needn't worry: always fair, always objective and always clear, the argument is generally unbiased, just as it ought to be.

However, the book could have used a little more focus in particular areas, with many of the quotes and references being somewhat forced in and not explained thoroughly enough, if at all. There are also numerous structural problems, with several sub-headings rendered pointless and a few points seeming more relevant to other parts of the book than their current position. Because of this, the argument becomes a little diluted in places and many parts feel like a missed opportunity to really flesh out the point. There was also no bibliography, though there are very detailed and accurate endnotes if the reader wished to read around the subject. I also feel it necessary to point out how nicely formatted the books is, which makes the information much more digestible.

To sum up, the book is a wonderfully critical, insightful and thorough exploration of the topic and is an essential read for anybody who either wants to say “no” to motherhood or simply wants to understand the subject more. Very relevant to everyone and not just women, this is an important read and I therefore rate this book 3 out of 4 stars.

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The Last Taboo
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[Gravy]

Another great review...and an interesting subject.

[gali]

Great review indeed. Thank you

[PashaRu]

Very nice review, Ryan! Well-written as usual.

[Ryan]

Great review indeed. Thank you

Very nice review, Ryan! Well-written as usual.

Another great review...and an interesting subject.

Wow ... thanks! That really does mean a lot. I'm happy you all liked it

[ALynnPowers]

Thanks for the review! It does sound interesting! I knew I wasn't the only person in the world who thought that maybe I shouldn't be a mother! Hahah! Yay! I am not a freak!

[Gravy]

Nope
Not a freak. Just a person who knows what they want...or don't want, as the case may be

[ALynnPowers]

But I want a baby! I just shouldn't have one. Like how I really want an ice cream sandwich right now, but I really shouldn't be eating that with my current attempts to lose weight. It's the same thing. (And a baby wouldn't help much with the weight loss either )

[bookowlie]

Great review Ryan, as usual! The book seems interesting, particularly the historical sections.

There is one member of my in-person book club who chose to not have children. She frequently brings this up during book discussions, particularly during one recent meeting. The book was "What Alice Forgot". in which one of the characters has fertility issues. The book discussion became quite lively about this subject, since a few of the members spoke about their own fertility issues. The other member was fairly insensitive about their plight. She said they should have just gotten on with their lives, and that it's no big deal to find out you can't have kids. Of course, she was speaking from her own perspective, since she chose not to become a parent. The weird thing is that you wound up with adult stepchildren, through remarriage. She is so anti-kids that who knows if she would have even married the man if the children were younger at the time!

[ALynnPowers]

Great review Ryan, as usual! The book seems interesting, particularly the historical sections.

There is one member of my in-person book club who chose to not have children. She frequently brings this up during book discussions, particularly during one recent meeting. The book was "What Alice Forgot". in which one of the characters has fertility issues. The book discussion became quite lively about this subject, since a few of the members spoke about their own fertility issues. The other member was fairly insensitive about their plight. She said they should have just gotten on with their lives, and that it's no big deal to find out you can't have kids. Of course, she was speaking from her own perspective, since she chose not to become a parent. The weird thing is that you wound up with adult stepchildren, through remarriage. She is so anti-kids that who knows if she would have even married the man if the children were younger at the time!

That seems a bit insensitive on her part (Please don't tell her I said that!) that she couldn't even acknowledge the fact that those women didn't even have the choice in the first place. That's the biggest (and most obvious) difference I see between infertility and choosing not to have children. Anyway, that's just me.

[bookowlie]

Great review Ryan, as usual! The book seems interesting, particularly the historical sections.

There is one member of my in-person book club who chose to not have children. She frequently brings this up during book discussions, particularly during one recent meeting. The book was "What Alice Forgot". in which one of the characters has fertility issues. The book discussion became quite lively about this subject, since a few of the members spoke about their own fertility issues. The other member was fairly insensitive about their plight. She said they should have just gotten on with their lives, and that it's no big deal to find out you can't have kids. Of course, she was speaking from her own perspective, since she chose not to become a parent. The weird thing is that you wound up with adult stepchildren, through remarriage. She is so anti-kids that who knows if she would have even married the man if the children were younger at the time!

That seems a bit insensitive on her part (Please don't tell her I said that!) that she couldn't even acknowledge the fact that those women didn't even have the choice in the first place. That's the biggest (and most obvious) difference I see between infertility and choosing not to have children. Anyway, that's just me.

A lot of people don't like her, because she is overly opinionated. The women that had fertility issues stayed after she left and were upset about her insensitivity. The funny thing is that she is open-minded when discussing varied opinions of the books we discuss, yet not the opposite when we discuss real-life situations.

[ALynnPowers]

That seems a bit insensitive on her part (Please don't tell her I said that!) that she couldn't even acknowledge the fact that those women didn't even have the choice in the first place. That's the biggest (and most obvious) difference I see between infertility and choosing not to have children. Anyway, that's just me.

A lot of people don't like her, because she is overly opinionated. The women that had fertility issues stayed after she left and were upset about her insensitivity. The funny thing is that she is open-minded when discussing varied opinions of the books we discuss, yet not the opposite when we discuss real-life situations.

Ugh. Sounds like my annoying aunt.

[Ryan]

Great review Ryan, as usual! The book seems interesting, particularly the historical sections.

There is one member of my in-person book club who chose to not have children. She frequently brings this up during book discussions, particularly during one recent meeting. The book was "What Alice Forgot". in which one of the characters has fertility issues. The book discussion became quite lively about this subject, since a few of the members spoke about their own fertility issues. The other member was fairly insensitive about their plight. She said they should have just gotten on with their lives, and that it's no big deal to find out you can't have kids. Of course, she was speaking from her own perspective, since she chose not to become a parent. The weird thing is that you wound up with adult stepchildren, through remarriage. She is so anti-kids that who knows if she would have even married the man if the children were younger at the time!

Thanks, bookowlie!

That is rather insensitive. It's important for people to realize that many women (and men) have a choice and that this power shouldn't be abused. Wanting or not wanting children is fine, but there will always be others who have no choice at all and that's difficult. But did they never consider adoption? That's one thing that would give them a certain amount of autonomy

-- 07 Mar 2015, 17:45 --

Thanks for the review! It does sound interesting! I knew I wasn't the only person in the world who thought that maybe I shouldn't be a mother! Hahah! Yay! I am not a freak!

Thanks, Alynn! I actually think you should give this a read ... honestly

[ALynnPowers]

Thanks for the review! It does sound interesting! I knew I wasn't the only person in the world who thought that maybe I shouldn't be a mother! Hahah! Yay! I am not a freak!

Thanks, Alynn! I actually think you should give this a read ... honestly

Are you sure it's not too smart for my tiny brain?

[Ryan]

Thanks for the review! It does sound interesting! I knew I wasn't the only person in the world who thought that maybe I shouldn't be a mother! Hahah! Yay! I am not a freak!

Thanks, Alynn! I actually think you should give this a read ... honestly

Are you sure it's not too smart for my tiny brain?

Well, it wasn't too smart for mine, so I think you'll be fine