Official Review: Dr. Brett's Deep Little Book on Dating &...

[bookowlie]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Dr. Brett's Deep Little Book on Dating & Relationships" by Dr. Brett Denkin.]

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3 out of 4 stars

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Dr. Brett’s Deep Little Book on Dating and Relationships by Dr. Brett Denkin is a non-fiction book in the Self-Help genre. The book focuses on 5 principles for success in relationships, romantic or otherwise. Dr. Brett Denkin, aka Dr. Brett, is a life coach, licensed psychologist, and sports psychologist. At age 40, he travelled the country with his Labradoodle dog and girlfriend, who he met along the way. He then had a serious health crisis and lost his business, girlfriend, and most of his money. He basically hit rock bottom. He rebuilt his life and now helps others through his principles for success.

The author first meets Katie by chance at a California coffee shop and offers her a part-time job marketing his business through social media. During subsequent lunches with her, Dr. Brett discusses his core principles for dating and other relationships.

One of Dr. Brett’s principles is to be “in the now”. Most anxiety is the result of worrying about the past or the future, so living “in the now” would reduce anxiety. You can then focus on who you are with, rather than worrying about something else. He explains that you can train your mind through meditation, mindfulness, and self-expression. Meditation makes you more peaceful and gets you in touch with your emotions. The author also details the health-related benefits of meditation. There are other useful principles for success, but I don’t want to give all of the information away here.

Talking with Katie personalizes the author’s information in an interesting way. The book reads more like a memoir rather than the typical self-help format of outlining points about a topic. He begins to explain his principles in his first lunch with Katie, as they discuss the failure of her previous romantic relationship. The book unfolds through a series of lunches between the author and Katie, where he acts as a mentor while also discussing the building of his brand. There are also sections where Dr. Brett helps a client and his girlfriend’s friend.

Dr. Brett frequently uses his clients’ and friends’ personal stories to illustrate a point. I found these little stories an effective way to explain his philosophies. He also advises that it takes commitment and determination to achieve success in life. He uses a good analogy about people who make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. They start off gung-ho and then often don’t follow through for the long haul.

The book is written in a natural, flowing style. Dr. Brett’s explains his core principles in an easy to understand way. There is a lot of useful advice dispensed here, not just for dating but for relationships in general. One good piece of advice he gives is to trust your gut. When you start dating after ending a relationship, your girlfriends often have different opinions about what to do. Their advice is often based on their own experiences, not always what’s best for you. Dr. Brett’s advice is to listen to your own inner voice, what he calls “Honor Yourself”.

A few pieces of advice regarding dating seem a bit impersonal. Dr. Brett tells Katie to think of dating as practicing your communication and intimacy skills. What a way to kill the romance in dating! Although the author didn’t draw up a survey, some of his advice reminded me of the novel, The Rosie Project; in that book, the main character has prospective partners answer a long survey to ensure compatibility.

There were a few things I found strange in this book. The conversations between the author and Katie seem perfectly designed to showcase his principles. Although the information is excellent, the manner in which it’s demonstrated seems a bit rehearsed, almost like a school play in which students talk about a topic in a conversational format. Also, I found it weird that Dr. Brett was very willing to have Katie work for him, even after she took a long time to respond to his job offer. After their initial meeting, she gets back to him a month later and apologizes for not getting back to him sooner; her excuse is she might have not pressed “send” after writing an email to him. He replies, “No worries”, and still hires her. This seemed inconsistent as he told her his pet peeve is flakiness. He did explain to her that, in the future, he expected her to get back to him within a reasonable time period. I also think it was odd that he was willing to offer a marketing job to a perfect stranger he met by chance at a coffee shop.

Overall I enjoyed this book and rate it 3 out of 4 stars. The information is easy to understand and would be helpful for any type of relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who likes self-help books about relationships. Dr. Brett’s positive attitude is inspiring and readers will find his core principles useful in all walks of life. I also particularly enjoyed reading his backstory and admire the fact that he bounced back after a health crisis and financial ruin.

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Dr. Brett's Deep Little Book on Dating & Relationships
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[zeldas_lullaby]

Great review!

"Hey, do you want to go on a date with me so that we can practice our intimacy skills?"

This book seems interesting. Is Dr. Brett affiliated with any New Agey or religious groups (assuming he mentions as much)? Also, is Katie the GF who he lost, or did he associate with her after hitting rock bottom?

[bookowlie]

Thanks. Katie is not his girlfriend. He meets her by chance in a coffee shop, after he rebuilt his life and has a thriving business again. He offers her a part-time marketing job after chatting with her. Strange, huh?

I didn't get the impression that he belongs to any reiigious or New Age-type groups. He is a licensed psychologist and his current business is mainly being a life coach and sports psychologist.

[zeldas_lullaby]

Oh, right. I forgot about how he's a psychologist.

Huh. You know, it might be strange, but there's a part of me that believes in kismet... who knows? Maybe it was a predestined meeting.

I had this college teacher who taught that the main Ultimate Moment (the class was called Ultimate Moments) was when you meet someone new. Of course, I've met several people where there was "nothing:" no spark, no feeling of meaning, etc. But ever so often, I've met someone and had a visceral reaction.

[bookowlie]

Sounds like it was an interesting class!

[zeldas_lullaby]

Yes! It was a theology course, taught by a priest.

-- 23 May 2015, 22:13 --

Woops. I knew something about that didn't sound right. The class was called Ultimate Questions.

[bookowlie]

A class called Ultimate Questions sounds even more interesting! I could actually picture the author of this book teaching a motivational seminar or class.

[zeldas_lullaby]

Yeah, this was back in the day that Bellarmine was a small Catholic college, and now it's a massive university. Literally--it was Bellarmine College, and is now Bellarmine University. I did take some great classes there!

Yes, perhaps this author could teach psychology at college. He has a nice, approachable name: Dr. Brett. He seems very likable in general.

[PashaRu]

Thanks for the review. Sounds like an interesting variation on presenting information in a self-help book. I guess. I've never read one, actually. Maybe I'm just beyond help, haha.

[bookowlie]

Ha ha ha....I've also never read one about relationships before. I've never been big on self-help books that tell readers their life will improve from these quick steps. Lose 10 lbs. in 10 days...

-- 24 May 2015, 08:27 --

Zeldas_lullaby, I agree the author seems likeable and has an approachable name. Actually, his real name is Brett Denkin. Katie called him Dr. Brett throughout the book and one of his old clients just called him Brett.

[gali]

Thank you for the nice review. Self-help books aren't my cup of tea, so I will pass.

[bookowlie]

Thanks Gali. I am not a big fan of self-help books either, although this one was an interesting read.

[zeldas_lullaby]

Thanks for the review. Sounds like an interesting variation on presenting information in a self-help book. I guess. I've never read one, actually. Maybe I'm just beyond help, haha.

Snort. I think we all are.

[bluemel4]

Great review. In undergraduate I minored in communication and a majored in Psychology. This book sounds like the standard advice given. The way that the book is set up may be what sets it apart from the usual "song and dance" in dating advice. I am not a big fan of self help books they tend to give either outdated information or are not research driven.

[zeldas_lullaby]

I majored in psychology as well.