Official Review: The Basic Instructions Before Lovin Eve

[ananya92]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "The Basic Instructions Before Lovin Eve" by K.A. Peoples.]

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1 out of 4 stars

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The Basic Instructions Before Lovin Eve: A Young/All Mans guide to Understanding Women by K.A. Peoples is a book in the non-fiction genre.

The target audience for this book, according to the author, comprises of young men who are raised in a single-woman headed household. The author believes that these men need help understanding the different types of women, before they tie the knot with their lady-love. The author’s primary aim is to help young men in their relationship, by giving his comments on how to judge the woman in the relationship, testing the strength of the relationship, and what should be the course of action in case the relationship fails. Along with providing some advice on who to marry, the author also gives some handy information on divorce procedure, court systems and child visitation rights (should matters get really out of hand).

The author’s writing style is suited to a non-fiction book. It is easy-to-understand and pretty straightforward. The author has tried to supplement his arguments with plenty of facts and figures; however, a greater amount of italicization would have been greatly appreciated. The reason for this is the difference between reading a hard copy version and a soft copy version (which is generally the case these days). The book is organized into roughly eleven chapters, where the chapters follow a fairly logical progression of ideas.

Coming to the content, the author’s ideas can be succinctly summarized in these few lines quoted from his book, “For those young men, this book is written for you; to help guide you on your path to true man-hood. For all other men, this was written to inspire you to take back your position as the head! Men are the head because men are the defenders of their home and community. You cannot defend your family from the back! You must place yourself at the head in order to protect your family from danger while leading them through the wilderness! Women are the child-bearers; they are the preservers of life. Men are the defenders; we’re the protectors of life.” These lines leave nothing to imagination as to what the book is about. The major points that the author makes is, first, that single women raise girls who are not sufficiently tailored to become supportive wives, secondly, boys who are raised by single mothers do not know how to behave like a man in the relationship, and hence are easily duped by women (who are much like their own single mother, might I add), thirdly, girls raised in a two-parent functional family, brought up by a doting father, are more equipped to become good wives because they know the place of the man in the family, fourthly, the author applies the same logic to boys raised in a two-parent family, claiming that the father teaches his son the five essential principles of manhood: a man is a builder, provider, protector, lawmaker, and enforcer of his home and community, which means that they know their place in the family, and fifthly, the author advises his male readers to not get involved with ‘damaged’ women (women who were physically and/or, mentally abused, abandoned, sexually assaulted by the mother’s friend, step-father, or other relatives), until they sort out their problems.

The author has made several other enlightening points about women; especially single mothers, who he believes are the root-cause of divorces. The book is insulting to women at so many levels that a review won't suffice to counter the author’s views; I might have to write an entire book to dissect his opinions. The only helpful bit in this book is about divorces, child support and visitation rights, since the author breaks down the entire process for an average person trying to understand the system.

I don’t want to recommend this book for any kind of reader, especially not for the audience the author has in mind, lest they follow his advice! This book might appeal to women, to remind us that gender equality in practice as well as belief, is still a distant dream. I rate this book 1 out of 4 stars.

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The Basic Instructions Before Lovin Eve
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Like ananya92's review? Post a comment saying so!

[Sarah Clay]

Awesome review! However, this is definitely not one I'll be picking up...

[ananya92]

Thanks. Yeah, I figured a lot of readers may not want to pick this up.

[debo9967]

Whoa! "Women are the child-bearers; they are the preservers of life. Men are the defenders; the protectors of life." Really?? I thought the Paleolithic age ended more than 10,000 years back.

[kkrobertson1]

Read the book! A misquote!

-- 19 Jul 2015, 08:32 --

I suggest reading it your-self or just the introduction to get the full quote as it is written by the author. Not a fair review at all!!! Same on ananya92

-- 19 Jul 2015, 08:33 --

Shame sorry (smile).

-- 19 Jul 2015, 08:40 --

Full quote as it is written:

For those young men, this book is written for you; to help guide you on your path to true man-hood. For all other men, this was written to inspire you to take back your position as the head! Men are the head because men are the defenders of their home and community. You cannot defend your family from the back! You must place yourself at the head in order to protect your family from danger while leading them through the wilderness! Women are the child-bearers; they are the preservers of life. Men are the defenders; we’re the protectors of life. Trying to decide which role is more important is like trying to choose food over water or water over food. Take either one away and death is certain! That is what true gender equality is; understanding that the roles of both men and women are critical to the strength of any home, community, or nation! Removing either one will cause your home, community and nation to slowly crumble. For it will have no foundation to stand on.

You be the judge!

[debo9967]

@ kkrobertson1: The full quote isn't any better, if not worse.
"Men take back their position as the head of the family. Men must put themselves at the head in order to protect your family from danger while leading them through the wilderness!"
Really?? Which century is the author living in? Leading through wilderness? I was right in thinking that the author isn't out of the stone age yet.
USA is ranked 5th by most gender equality indices. If these are the beliefs held by some people in the States, then I don't know about the rest of the world!

[kkrobertson1]

I believe the author is talking about the many danger this country as well as many others face, that can be hard for a women as well as children if they where face with them. Although most militarizes allow women to server in them is the United States still living in the stone age because it does not make it mandatory for women to sign up for selective service as it do our young men? And if so who would watch the children if both parents are called to war? I guest the kid would be shipped off to foster care while mommy and daddy are showing the world how equal they are (smile). This book gives cold hard facts about the myth of gender equality which is always hard for people to except. Most men, unfortunately suffer from a form of implicit bias which cause them to go along with this angry men against women fantasy that simply does not exists! This author book clearly dispels that myth with facts not opinions fueled by emotions.

[debo9967]

So, taking your example forward, if both the parents have the option to join the military, then its the woman who should stay behind and look after kids, while the 'man of the family' goes to defend the nation? I think I'll rather have 'mommy and daddy' showing the world how equal they are as opposed to the woman being denied an equal opportunity to prove her merit in the army.

[kkrobertson1]

debo9967 I never said women should not join the military what I said was "Although most militarizes allow women to server in them is the United States still living in the stone age because it does not make it mandatory for women to sign up for selective service as it do our young men?." But like always these kinds of question are avoided. So I guess I'm right! The U.S. must be living in the stone age because its does not make it mandatory for women to sign up so they to can one day go out and defend this country like our young-men(smile). Now theirs something you can do debo9967. Instead of belittling a book you never read why don't you go out or write a book about how the U.S. is denying women the right to sign up for selective service like our young-men. Because that what a "ranked 5th by most gender equality indices" country should do RIGHT!!! Our fight for more women to become brick layers, construction workers, farm hands or landscaper! You know their not allot of women in these field and there are plenty of applications. I sure the feminism will support you 100%(smile)! Your the one for the job debo9967! Here your calling, lets make the U.S. #1 like Sweden when it comes to gender equality.

[ananya92]

@kk roberston: Thank you for your enlightening views on the issue.
And to be fair, I don't think debo was criticising the US. She was, in fact, appreciating the US and, thus, disappointed that 'even' in the US people hold such regressive views. I think you have totally misunderstood what her comment meant. It was directed against the author, who I think she is right in saying, is still stuck in time, not Americans in general. I have been to the US myself, so I know that people there are simply amazing when it comes to gender equality. I was surprised that the author could hold such views, staying in a country like the US. *despair*

[chytach18-]

Fantastic review, ananya92. Your argument is clear and I agree with it. I`m glad my sons don`t share the attitude of the author of this book.

[Fran]

Reading the review & the comments it strikes me that this book has a very misleading title - I see very little evidence of "loving" or even "lovin" in it. IMO a prerequsite for loving anybody is respect and a prerequisite for respect is, not just treating someone as an equal, but instinctively believing them to be equal.
I have been fortunate in both my personal and work life to have encountered some very admirable men & the common denominator they share is they don't just treat women as equals, the thought would never cross their minds that the women in their lives, be they mother, wife, partner, sister, daughter, friend or colleague, were anything but equal human beings. Confident in themselves and aware of their own abilites these men are not in anyway threathened by the abilites, skills and expeience of the women they share part or all of their lives with. They do not need to pound their chests Tarzanlike & strut about in sergent major mode to be respected and loved.
It appears to me the author is confusing "lovin" with controlling - regretably an not uncommon error.

[kkrobertson1]

It's clear the people commenting on this book are judging it based on anaya92 review which is a misquote of the author book. And although I post the whole quote as it is written. Everyone still refuse to except this deliberate deception by the reviewer. Fan try reading the introduction of this book and than tell us if this book has a misleading title. This book does not degrade women at all!!! That why the reviewer had to rearrange the author words just to try and prove her point. As I said before this book has cold hard facts that dispel the myth about men aggression against women. Young men going up in this post women era is being brain wash to believe they are born to be monster when it comes to women. This is simply not true! I thank this author for having the courage to write a book that helps good young men growing up today understand they are good. And they deserve to be in a relationship with a women who respect them. This book helps young men find that type of woman and to avoid the ones who only want to be a bridge and not a wife! 70% of divorces are filed by women, NEW FLASH and is not because they were being abused its because they chose to get out! Why because they simply did not want to be married any more and in this day and age that's perfectly fine! So young men need to know how to avoid these types of women so they can keep there families together! That's what this book is about!! And if you are against that than your part of the problem!!

[debo9967]

@kkrobertson: So, quoting from your own comment,"This book helps young men find that type of woman and to avoid the ones who only want to be a bride and not a wife!......So young men need to know how to avoid these types of women so they can keep their families together!"
Seriously? 'Avoid' women who want to become a bride but not a wife?? I didn't know such women exist
And these kind of women need to be avoided so that men can 'keep their families together'. Really?
And after all this you say that this book is not offensive to women?
I think the reviewer did the writer a favor by not quoting everything from the book, your comments makes the book look worse, and that's saying something.

[kkrobertson1]

debo9967 if you don't know the different between being a bridge and a wife or why men should avoid women like this. You've just explain why 70% of divorce filer are WOMEN. Why is it when women are in relationships with these mentally/physically abusive men they keep running back to. They have all the support they need to help them not just leave there abuser but they also learn how to avoid these guys in the future. These women are not taught how to work it out with these guys. They're taught how not to get involve with men like this. I'm SURE you don't have a problem with that. Now that a book is written to teach good young-men how not to get involved with women who do not respect the institution of marriage you feel insulted. Why? because its talking about WOMEN! Where's the equality in that? Are you tell me that women cannot be held accounted for there actions and men do not have the right to married a woman who see him as the man he is and not the monster some women think men are? Do you truly believe that women do very little wrong in the world that a book like this is insulting to women? If you do than you need to take off those rose covered glasses your wearing when you look at women as well as your-self. And see the world as it really is! A place where human beings are capable of doing both good and bad! Women are human being not angels as this author states. And all human begins have flaws! debo9967 I really don't think you know how your commits are really helping this author more than hurting him.