Review of Ain’t She Pretty

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[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Ain’t She Pretty" by Barry J Kughn.]

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5 out of 5 stars

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Most people meet a funeral director at one of the worst times of their lives, usually when they are dealing with the shock and sorrow of losing a loved one. Of course, funeral directors deal with people in this emotional state every day. Barry J. Kughn’s beautifully detailed memoir, Ain’t She Pretty, looks back on his forty-seven years of service to grieving families, as they say their final goodbyes. Kughn describes his long career with compassion and a gentle sense of humor which makes this a wonderful book to read.

Each chapter in the book is devoted to a different story in his life as a funeral director in a small rural town in Alabama. The title of the book refers to a comment that a daughter made after seeing her mother in the casket after the funeral home had prepared the remains. She and her sisters were so grateful for how beautiful their mother looked after a long illness. Kughn also writes about humorous situations, such as the time a hearse leading a funeral procession takes a wrong turn and has to turn around in a large parking lot. The family didn’t mind the detour, since they drove by their mother’s favorite store, Walmart, one last time. He describes in one chapter some of the personal articles that families wanted to include in the caskets, including a cell phone that belonged to the deceased in life. Just as the casket was being lowered into the grave, the phone rang, much to the shock and then amusement of the gathered family. However, the story where Kughn has to direct the funeral for the young child of family friends was truly heart-wrenching. There are several times, especially when he directed the funerals of friends and neighbors, where I wondered how Kughn found the strength to carry on.

Kughn is forthcoming about how much emotional stress he was under because of his position. He describes with honesty the deep depression that threatened to overtake him in the middle of his life. Although he is a very religious person, he acknowledged that the therapy he sought saved him. He describes how he believes going through this experience himself helped him to be even more thoughtful and understanding to the families he served throughout his career, many of whom were also suffering a form of depression after seeing a loved one suffer for months before passing.

What shines throughout this book is Kughn’s dedication to his job, which he refers to as a calling. His love, sympathy, and compassion toward families in their darkest hours, and the care with which he treats all of the deceased came through in every chapter. I feel honored to have read his book and to have learned about the life of someone so important in the lives of others. My only vaguely negative comment is that some of the stories tended to overlap a little, but they were written so beautifully that this did not take anything away from my overall enjoyment.

Without hesitation, I give Ain’t She Pretty five out of five stars. The book was professionally edited, with no errors. I recommend this book to all readers, and I hope that anyone dealing with the death of a loved one is lucky enough to find someone like Barry Kughn to help them through.

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Ain’t She Pretty
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[Kigen Valarie]

For a young child's comment, it made a beautiful title. It is good enough that the author kept it for his book. It is good that everyone gets to experience a day in the life of a funeral director. This is a good way to get to know them other than when mourning a loved one.