Review of My Spouse, my friend

[Fungayi Satumba]

[Following is a volunteer review of "My Spouse, my friend" by Ingiete Oyama.]

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5 out of 5 stars

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My Spouse My Friend is a book by Ingiete Oyama. It is both a marriage management manual as well as a spiritual guide for couples who want to maintain a stable relationship that puts God ahead of everything. It offers a deep-seated guideline of how a happy marriage should be.

In its holistic approach to marriage, it emphasises the importance of equality between the spouses based on the biblical roles assigned to each partner by God himself through the bible.Ingiete correctly emphasises that there should not be a master and maid relationship in a marriage that is bountiful of love because true love is neither selfish nor self-seeking. I give her a plus for that.

In addition to that, Ingiete has tackled hot-bed topics such as sensuality, submission, finances, and disagreements. These topics have proven to be too untouchable in relationships to the point that couples who have tried to navigate through them have often ended up fighting to otherwise break-up point, or for marriage expedience, have kept them in the closet. But, after reading My Spouse My Friend, I am of the opinion that couples can be in a better position to talk meaningfully about these.

I was particularly intrigued by chapter seven where Ingiete reiterated that sex should never be used as a bait or weapon for manipulation! This, in most cases, has always been the case with most wives who believe that by giving her spouse sex she is doing him a favor that deserves a reward in return. I give Ingiete a rousing ovation for putting this mentality by wives into the dustbin where it belongs.

After all has been said about the book, however, I feel Ingiete, as a writer, should rise above the stereotypes that society usually harbours that only men inflict violence on women and never vice versa. She should always acclaim her neutrality and maintain a balanced analysis even though she is a woman.

I have no shame in giving Ingiete a 5 out of 5 star rating! I should say I am looking for more of her books now. As for My Spouse My Friend, I already have people in mind whom I am going to recommend to read it. Thank you!

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My Spouse, my friend
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