OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "We 3" by Theresa Snyder.]

We 3 by Theresa Snyder is a non-fiction book about the author’s experiences taking care of her elderly parents. Her father James had been the primary caregiver for her mother Lorine, who suffers from a wide range of health problems. When he has open heart surgery, Theresa steps in to care for both of them. Even after James’ recovery, a better long-term solution is for the author to move in with her parents. They buy a manufactured home to live in together, with separate sides of the house so that she and her parents can have a little privacy. It helps that James is energetic and can provide support for his wife while Theresa is at work.

I enjoyed this series of essays about a growing phenomenon – as people live longer, adult children are finding they need to devote more time to helping their aging parents. Even though most people don’t move in with their parents, they often become their parents’ supervisor and spend time running errands, going to medical appointments, and managing their finances. It’s common for people to feel “sandwiched” with these extra responsibilities as well as raising their own children. In this case, the author doesn’t have a husband or children so it’s easier for her to focus completely on her parents. I am not saying it was easy; living with elderly parents carries a unique set of stressors. It's just that there isn't the pull in both directions.

The book is written in a nice, conversational style. It often reads like a loving tribute to the author’s parents. Theresa and her father plant a huge garden with the types of plants her mother loved from childhood. I was so mesmerized by the descriptions that I wanted to buy the same flowers and trees for my own yard. There are also humorous recollections, including a few weird conversations with her parents who have some hearing loss.

While many of the sections are individually interesting, the book doesn’t always flow smoothly or move forward in a compelling way. One chapter will be about having the flu, followed by chapters about Lorine’s lifelong tendency to forget words and memories of hair salon visits.

I expected the book to be primarily about the author’s adjustments after moving in with her parents. Certainly, there are realistic descriptions of the impact on her life – not going out with friends as often, putting too many demands on herself, befriending a kindred spirit who is going through the same experiences, etc. There is also useful information included about keeping your body protected as a caregiver. Still, much of the book focuses on random, ordinary occurrences (the cat throwing up, working on outdoor projects). There is also a wealth of information about James and Lorine’s personalities and interests, with entire chapters devoted to a particular hobby or quirk. The frequent childhood memories often veer the story off track. Also, a few of the chapters drag on, such as the parents getting sick with the flu and fixing the sprinklers.

Although the book is well written for the most part, there are several errors scattered throughout the book, including apostrophes that don’t belong, typos (eight-one/eighty-one), and incorrect word usage (lose/loose, weigh/weight, too/to). The errors are more of a pesky annoyance rather than a major distraction.

I rate this book 3 out of 4 stars. It is a heartwarming story about a family I won’t soon forget. I would recommend it to readers who enjoy memoirs about families and can relate to the author’s situation.

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We 3
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I read another book by this author and loved the writing. I am glad that you enjoyed the book.

Thank you for the great review!

Thanks Gali. I did notice a few fiction reviews by this author. She is multi-talented!

Sounds like an inspiring book especially for us who have aging parents. Too bad, though, about the errors. Great job on the review.

kimmyschemy06 wrote:Sounds like an inspiring book especially for us who have aging parents. Too bad, though, about the errors. Great job on the review.

Thanks Kimmyschemy. It was nice to see how well the three of them got along. It certainly helped that the parents were very sociable, likeable people.

This sounds like a wonderful book. The only problem for me would be the chapters not flowing together. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and then sometimes I end up not being intrigued enough to finish reading. However I found your review to be very interesting.

Amh73090 wrote:This sounds like a wonderful book. The only problem for me would be the chapters not flowing together. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and then sometimes I end up not being intrigued enough to finish reading. However I found your review to be very interesting.

Thanks for taking the time to read my review and leave a comment. Some of the chapters flow well and others are about random topics. At some point in the book, the author mentions that she writes a column for a local newspaper. Maybe she is used to writing standalone essays. Either way, the book was interesting.