Official Review: Life with My Idiot Family A True Story o...

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 06 Apr 2018, 10:58

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Life with My Idiot Family A True Story of Survival, Courage and Justice over Childhood Sexual Abuse" by Kathy and Gary Picard.]

4 out of 4 stars

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Kathy was taught to obey and love her father and mother when she was a young girl, and she did everything that she could to make them proud. When she was seven, she was told by her father that she was his "special girl", and her father started to sexually abuse her. She didn't know it was abuse, and the only person she confided in told her not to tell anyone, simply normalizing it. Kathy was abused by her father throughout her childhood years, and it grew to her father raping her throughout her middle and high school years.

After high school, Kathy moved away and began her own career. She stayed quiet about the abuse at first, but after several years, she decided that she wouldn't stay quiet anymore. She started telling her family, especially an aunt who had unknowingly been her saving grace throughout her high school years, but her mother, father, and sisters labeled her as a liar. By the time she planned to sue her father, the time had passed for her to legally be able to sue in the state of Massachusetts. From then on, she began to speak for other survivors to try to get this law changed.

This book was a true story of strength. Many sexual assault and/or rape survivors do not have the courage to speak out. Everyone deals with it a different way emotionally, and some choose to simply block the memories. I appreciated the fact that even Kathy didn't blame those who didn't speak out. She understood that people need to work through their own painful memories on their own as she did, and it is definitely important not to blame victims for not speaking out. However, Kathy did speak out, and she became the voice for those who didn't feel safe enough to do so. Kathy was brave to stand up to everyone, including her family, to try and get justice for her. She even tries to get justice for anyone who might still be living with her father and who might have been abused by him as well.

I read this book completely in one night. Kathy's story will draw readers in and not allow them to go until they have read every word and truly heard her story. The best part of this story was seeing her personal growth from the scared little girl who didn't even understand what was being done to her, to the brave woman who publicly spoke about what had happened to her and worked with lawmakers to make sure that other victims had the ability to speak out. I was taken on a journey throughout the whole novel, and along the way I felt as if I too were celebrating the small victories.

I rated this book 4 out of 4 stars because it was such an inspirational and thought-provoking read. I hope that many survivors of assault will be able to read this book and find common ground with Kathy. I hope that they will be able to find solace in her words and maybe even be able to speak out themselves sometime in their lifetimes. Even if you, like myself, have not been assaulted, this book will help you to understand and help those in your life who have. This truly is an amazing read that I would recommend to everyone.

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Life with My Idiot Family A True Story of Survival, Courage and Justice over Childhood Sexual Abuse
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KLafser · Post by **KLafser** » 08 Apr 2018, 08:05

Thanks so much for this review - I'll add the book to my "want to read" list.

I appreciate that you called out Kathy's recognition that everyone has to work through their issues in their own way. There seems to be many activists who are angry with those who don't act, who don't open up. I appreciate when a "character" can empathize and allow others to process in their own way.

JJNP · Post by **JJNP** » 08 Apr 2018, 08:13

I agree with KLafser, I am a survivor, everyone responds differently to abuse and some never speak out, some take many years to speak out, it is good when survivors can write and speak out so that other survivors are understood.
This will be on my 'Want to Read' list too.

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 08 Apr 2018, 08:24

KLafser wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 08:05 Thanks so much for this review - I'll add the book to my "want to read" list.

I appreciate that you called out Kathy's recognition that everyone has to work through their issues in their own way. There seem to be many activists who are angry with those who don't act, who don't open up. I appreciate when a "character" can empathize and allow others to process in their own way.

Thank you! It definitely is important not to blame others who don't speak out, and I tend to get angry with those who do. Or people who blame victims, saying that they "took too long" to speak out about accusations. Both of these really undermine the movement.

JJNP wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 08:13 I agree with KLafser, I am a survivor, everyone responds differently to abuse and some never speak out, some take many years to speak out, it is good when survivors can write and speak out so that other survivors are understood.
This will be on my 'Want to Read' list too.

I hope that more survivors such as yourself get to read this book and be able to feel understood and supported by it.

Mercelle · Post by **Mercelle** » 08 Apr 2018, 08:27

I admire Kathy's bravery. It's despicable that her own family members were doubtful of her, dubbing her a liar. Her story is a reflection of the reality that still exists in society.

MrsCatInTheHat · Post by **MrsCatInTheHat** » 08 Apr 2018, 09:12

So often, victims are labeled as liars. I'm glad that Kathy kept on telling her story. It sounds like it will help others.

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 08 Apr 2018, 12:15

CatInTheHat wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 09:12 So often, victims are labeled as liars. I'm glad that Kathy kept on telling her story. It sounds like it will help others.

It definitely will. It was so sad that even her family labeled her a liar, the people who should have at least stood behind her. Hopefully, people will be able to be helped by this book.

cpru68 · Post by **cpru68** » 08 Apr 2018, 14:41

While I was reading your review, I felt sorrow for the author. To finally come forward to tell the truth is so brave, only to be called a liar. I am glad she has written the book to blaze a trail for others to step into the light to find healing. Your review was heartfelt and so well done. Thank you for helping this author get the word out so we all can be of help to this cause.

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 08 Apr 2018, 15:21

cpru68 wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 14:41 While I was reading your review, I felt sorrow for the author. To finally come forward to tell the truth is so brave, only to be called a liar. I am glad she has written the book to blaze a trail for others to step into the light to find healing. Your review was heartfelt and so well done. Thank you for helping this author get the word out so we all can be of help to this cause.

Thank you for your kind words, and I am glad that her story is being shared on such an amazing site as this one! Hopefully many involved readers will be interested in checking out this book.

stacie k · Post by **stacie k** » 08 Apr 2018, 18:36

I’m so glad Kathy found the strength to speak out for justice! I already feel so angry at the abuse she suffered just reading the review. I’m sure the actual book will elicit an even greater response. Thank you for a wonderful review!

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 09 Apr 2018, 15:51

stacie k wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 18:36 I’m so glad Kathy found the strength to speak out for justice! I already feel so angry at the abuse she suffered just reading the review. I’m sure the actual book will elicit an even greater response. Thank you for a wonderful review!

Thank you for commenting! The book definitely made me angry just reading it and hearing about what she had to go through. If you do read the book, I hope you find it as inspirational as I did.

DancingLady · Post by **DancingLady** » 09 Apr 2018, 21:12

Thank you for reviewing this. I've been considering reading it myself. I hope this book helps lots of people to get the support they need to share their own story and heal.

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 10 Apr 2018, 14:52

DancingLady wrote: ↑09 Apr 2018, 21:12 Thank you for reviewing this. I've been considering reading it myself. I hope this book helps lots of people to get the support they need to share their own story and heal.

Thank you for commenting! You definitely should read it when you get the chance, it is an amazing book.

crediblereading2 · Post by **crediblereading2** » 13 Apr 2018, 16:16

There are so many innocent persons in the world today who have experienced sexual abuse, silently at the hands of their family members and friends. This book will certainly provide strength to them, and encourage them to speak out against such abuse.

BriennaiJ · Post by **BriennaiJ** » 13 Apr 2018, 20:49

crediblereading2 wrote: ↑13 Apr 2018, 16:16 There are so many innocent persons in the world today who have experienced sexual abuse, silently at the hands of their family members and friends. This book will certainly provide strength to them, and encourage them to speak out against such abuse.

Thanks for commenting. And I agree, there definitely are too many people who have suffered through the same thing, most of them in silence. I really hope that some survivors start to grow the courage to stand up so that we can stop these atrocities from occurring so often.