OnlineBookClub.org

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Reconciled" by Dana Clark-Jackson.]

Do you empathize with those kids who have an absentee parent? Have you experienced being scoffed at or excluded because of the color of your skin or just because you are different? Have you lived your life as you did, and later on realized you could have done better? Is life not so fair and merely full of toils, or could it really be viewed in another way?

Dana Clark Jackson's parents were still at their teens when she was conceived. This is certainly a deviation from the dream of their parents. (Like them, other parents will hope to see their children firstly attaining stronger foundations, succeeding in their careers, and doing what they love and enough to provide a comfortable life for their own kids later.) Her mum loved her so much not to leave her behind and worked in whatever job she could find to make ends meet. Still, she believed their life wasn't exactly an ideal one; I would have to agree and, I think, so would others. Yet, young as she was then, the perfect course of action was and still is clearly not for Dana to decide for her mum or both her parents.

She was born out of wedlock at a time of racial conflict in US history. This was something that did not run in consonance with the beliefs and position of her pastor grandfather (her mother's father) and the rest of their religious family. It would have been better if her parents had a choice on their relationship status. However, her mum was "Caucasian" and her biological father was an African-American. At that time, marriage between whites and blacks was not merely unusual but even illegal. Her parents clearly didn't have an alternative either, as it seemed.

However, the odds and trials didn't end there but had just been the start.

"The fact is, I experienced more pain and abuse than my mind could process." Such were the words of Dana in her touching yet stoically-written memoir entitled, Reconciled: Black by Experience, My Struggle for Legitimacy. The book is a descriptive chronicle of those times when she was left alone or with the company of other people who she barely knew. It reveals how these situations exposed her to unwarranted ridicule, harassment, rejection, violence, and even molestation. With tones of acceptance, hope, and optimism, she narrated how she erred and learned, too. She could have had a safer, more nurturing, and more appropriate environment for a growing-up kid. She and her parents could have done better indeed. It's just that what needed to be done wasn't as easy to do as it was to merely say. With all the complaints and excuses one could ever have, this is a revelational account of the challenges that others could face but could merely surmise or not even be aware of. It allows a peek at the individual situations most people would not choose to go through if that freedom and capacity to make the choice really exists.

What I like about this book is that it deliberately presents the stark and often-unwanted realities of everyday life. What I love more is that it also uncovers scenarios where we can go beyond the options that we don't have, and focus on those that we could opt for. The author's past would have already put her down and led her to a life of misery permanently and not just for long. She could have lived a life of anger and retaliation. Instead, she sought to understand and appreciate her mum and her redeeming qualities and sacrifices. She focused on forgiving her father, her family and others who might have failed her in a way. She forgave her own self for her carefree youth and past choices. She invested in her own uniqueness and experiences to finish high school, then college, and even with a Masters degree to boot. With the realizations and wisdom she gained from her ordeals and escapades, she sought to help others in similar stead to become better versions of themselves as a life coach and a sought-after speaker. She chose to share and make a positive difference when she wrote this book.

Whereas this piece is for those who seek to read and understand human interest stories, it could also appeal to those who are after an insightful read. Beyond the poignant details, this autobiography also intends to educate. It provides a researched backgrounder on the origins, historical developments, and other significant details of the US societal journey from discrimination and segregation into integration and reconciliation.

With the intent, purpose, content, and relevance of this book, it would have been easier to mark it with a perfect score. However, I am inclined to give it a 3 out of 4 stars rating merely to acquiesce in conformity to widely accepted book review standards. A final mass-produced copy of this book may be greatly enhanced for marketability and will benefit immensely in other ways from a reconsideration of the book cover layout and presentability, to begin with. (This may have already been dealt with, though, as I've seen at least two variants of the cover earlier on.) It may also need essential professional editing and proofreading to address a significant number of deviations from current grammatical and other writing conventions including but not limited to obviously-unintentional malapropisms, missing or misplaced punctuation marks or words, inappropriate pronoun usage, and fragmented or incomplete sentence constructions. However, these corrections and other content style changes could be easily incorporated into subsequent copies of the publication. (It is also possible that the pdf file I have for this review may have just been one of the initial draft copies, and that it may have already been turned into an improved revised reproduction of the manuscript prior to final publishing and distribution stages.)

There may be some missing or unexplained parts in Dana's life such as details about her kids. Such may not necessarily diminish the fact that she is an admirable woman of amazing resilience. It may have just been part of the ongoing voyage that the author is still going through, if not intentionally omitted. Her other religion-related discourses may also not appeal to some. However, even though we don't belong to exactly the same affiliation, this narrative on her life of struggle, faith, and redemption is inspirational as well as motivational in its own right.

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Reconciled
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Like Espie's review? Post a comment saying so!

I find it very inspiring to read about those who have overcome personal hardships and tragedies to find redemption. Thanks for the great review!

Cecilia_L wrote: ↑01 Jul 2018, 22:51 I find it very inspiring to read about those who have overcome personal hardships and tragedies to find redemption. Thanks for the great review!

I share those same thoughts, too. With all the wisest words we could ever read and hear, getting up and moving on would always be easier said than done especially if the odds seem too insurmountable. At times as well, even a tiny gesture of kindness, compassion or understanding can create that necessary ripple of enlightenment, and turn the flow of events to what's more positive and acceptable (and, perhaps, even successful).

Thank you for being the first commenter on my review! Your thoughts and effort are much appreciated in the truest sense and in more ways than what would initially be apparent.

What an interesting perspective. I love biographical pieces, especially those that reflect on overcoming adversity, so I'll definitely be adding this to my Want to Read shelf. Thanks for the recommendation!

This is quite interesting, so many challenges immersed into this writing, but that's what makes us you know, overcoming challenges..

I appreciate this review..

To fight life with courage and sublime heart, it enable us to shun the imaginative burden bestowed on our shoulders.

SamSim wrote: ↑02 Jul 2018, 12:00 What an interesting perspective. I love biographical pieces, especially those that reflect on overcoming adversity, so I'll definitely be adding this to my Want to Read shelf. Thanks for the recommendation!

The book stroke more chords than one for me, indeed. The author is such an inspirational woman, and I really felt for her. The book shouldn't be read with stern or immovable preconceived notions or expectations, though, and will really suit someone with an open mind and who's after looking for beauty and meaning beyond what will initially meet the eye. Thank you for dropping by and sharing your thoughts, too.

Dahmy 10 wrote: ↑02 Jul 2018, 12:11 This is quite interesting, so many challenges immersed into this writing, but that's what makes us you know, overcoming challenges..

I appreciate this review..

It is, indeed. I, for one, had too many of such challenges and struggles so it's inspiring to read about someone who has gone through worse in some ways but still remained intact, positive, and even committed to helping and making a difference to others who are in similar stead. Thank you for sharing some precious pieces of your mind, too.

The beauty about this book is that it not only touches on the past African American struggles but it also shows the struggles of a child that is raised in a single parent family as well as a non supportive environment. The reviewer brings it out clearly and manages to appeal to your emotions and thus enticing you to read the book

NZKT96 wrote: ↑02 Jul 2018, 13:21 To fight life with courage and sublime heart, it enable us to shun the imaginative burden bestowed on our shoulders.

Inner strength and courage also characterise our book author. I think you're right in stating that such made her go through her past and still remain positive and optimistic as she still is now.

Thank you for sharing your perspective.

Githumaina19 wrote: ↑03 Jul 2018, 00:21 The beauty about this book is that it not only touches on the past African American struggles but it also shows the struggles of a child that is raised in a single parent family as well as a non supportive environment. The reviewer brings it out clearly and manages to appeal to your emotions and thus enticing you to read the book

Those two themes you've mentioned are part of the same ones I intended to emphasise in my review. Thank you for confirming that I was able to achieve that aim.

I usually enjoy reading autobiography! An insightful book ended with an insightful review.

It's amazing to know that the author instead of giving in to resentment of life, she focus her energy to improving to the best version of her life. This will be a beneficial read to me and to everyone who seeks to improve their life.

ParadoxicalWoman wrote: ↑04 Jul 2018, 23:36 I usually enjoy reading autobiography! An insightful book ended with an insightful review.

It's amazing to know that the author instead of giving in to resentment of life, she focus her energy to improving to the best version of her life. This will be a beneficial read to me and to everyone who seeks to improve their life.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

That ability to forgive and move forward was exactly one of the ways the author has inspired me.

I was able to relate to her story, even if she seemed nonchalant at times and there wasn't a clear attempt on her part to be melodramatic about her experiences at all (unlike what you'd find in a typical human interest story). Her story could motivate one through the way she lived and rose through the odds, and without actually listing down the steps to follow (unlike those found in self-help books).

It's a piece worthy to be given a good chance, and to be read with a more open mind.

Thanks for the review. I have a hard time, sometimes, reading about abuse and neglect, but this sounds like an enlightening book.

Kat Berg wrote: ↑05 Jul 2018, 08:23 Thanks for the review. I have a hard time, sometimes, reading about abuse and neglect, but this sounds like an enlightening book.

I'm a fan of feel-good reads with higher endings so I didn't deliberately choose this book for the sob story. I chose it because: 1.) The first two books in my list turned out to be not available in my country; and, 2.) I am a migrant and I also used to support work for Australian Aboriginal people in one of my past jobs so the author's toils due to racism piqued my curiosity.

The good thing about the autobiography is that the narrative is descriptive enough to drive across the messsage but not to the point of becoming too graphic to cause such discomfort you're averse to.

Thanks for dropping by and sharing some of your thoughts, too.