Discussion Forums about Books and Reading | Was James too jealous? - Page 5
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I totally agree with you here. Looking at it from the outside James felt too jealous and kind of possessive. I wouldn't blame him though. His background and growing up with his kind of father inculcated that in him, and also the fear of losing someone you love. But I feel there is a better way to go about this than being jealous.Charlize Venter wrote: ↑09 Jan 2022, 09:02 I may agree with you here...
The thing one needs to take into account is the influence that James’s father had on his personality. A lot of that jealousy, I assume, must have been engrained by the meandering that Jesse left on and in his son.
The jealousy can also be understood in the sense that in the beginning of the friendship in childhood, Lily and James shared and incredibly beautiful friendship; then their friendship was discovered and, subsequently, Lily was taken from James. She was taken from him before. The effect of her being taken from him in this manner is intensified when one notices his jealousy: how painful it must have been for young James to lose someone so close to him (an abrupt taking of a loved one), just as he had abruptly lost his mother-permanently lost her. Yet, Lily is still alive. This must heighten a fear of losing her again -permanently- as he lost his mother to death.
The fear of losing her again must fuel his jealousy, he tries to avoid the danger in the pain of even the slightest possibility of losing her again.
I must concur, there certainly are better ways to go about such internal struggles. I have experienced these in my own life frequently enough: althoug someone means well, it does not make it okay to be mean, jelous or possessive (amongst other things). For the most part, it comes down to our own willingness to develop ourselves, our emotional intelligence, and a willingness to seek help in moving through the trauma(s) which root the cause (as well as a recognition that we do have a problem that we need to address). The trouble is just that rehashing trauma's is no easy thing and the emotions that surface during such times are not easy at all, I believe that being jealous is the easy way out: instead of feeling the painful and difficult emotions tied to the trauma and the truth, we lash out with the easier emotions such as anger, irritation, jealousy, and the like (as these do not necessarily cause us to address the trauma head on and do not affect our emotional state as profoundly as the more honest and difficult emotions do).Grampy wrote: ↑07 Feb 2022, 09:20I totally agree with you here. Looking at it from the outside James felt too jealous and kind of possessive. I wouldn't blame him though. His background and growing up with his kind of father inculcated that in him, and also the fear of losing someone you love. But I feel there is a better way to go about this than being jealous.Charlize Venter wrote: ↑09 Jan 2022, 09:02 I may agree with you here...
The thing one needs to take into account is the influence that James’s father had on his personality. A lot of that jealousy, I assume, must have been engrained by the meandering that Jesse left on and in his son.
The jealousy can also be understood in the sense that in the beginning of the friendship in childhood, Lily and James shared and incredibly beautiful friendship; then their friendship was discovered and, subsequently, Lily was taken from James. She was taken from him before. The effect of her being taken from him in this manner is intensified when one notices his jealousy: how painful it must have been for young James to lose someone so close to him (an abrupt taking of a loved one), just as he had abruptly lost his mother-permanently lost her. Yet, Lily is still alive. This must heighten a fear of losing her again -permanently- as he lost his mother to death.
The fear of losing her again must fuel his jealousy, he tries to avoid the danger in the pain of even the slightest possibility of losing her again.