Gender and Romance

Use this forum to discuss the December 2022 Book of the Month, "Terms of Service: Subject to change without notice" by Craig W. Stanfill
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Gender and Romance

Post by Hannah Hampton »

What did everyone think about gender in Terms of Service? I thought it was a really interesting conversation-starter on individual identity. I found myself labeling some characters as male or female even though they were all referred to as "she," did anyone else imagine characters like this? I felt absolutely heartbroken during Kim's revelation about her sexuality. I was curious what everybody's thoughts were on these things!
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Post by readingswithsoso »

Hannah Hampton wrote: 18 Dec 2022, 15:40 I felt absolutely heartbroken during Kim's revelation about her sexuality.
Oh, me too! Specially they way she initially saw herself!
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Post by Hubre De Klerk »

I also made my own individual identities for the characters, as I don't like the idea of stripping one of his/her identity. It was interesting though how they managed to put (or tried) all the humans in the box.
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Post by Maryam Newman »

With the main character being female and thus the personal pronouns being feminine for everyone, it made all the characters female by default until proven otherwise, which is a very interesting way to proceed through a book full of characters! I was caught out more than once, which was a good laugh; the biggest being the "woman" with the big red beard :-D
It was the craziest thing (and something I've never, ever come across before) to finish the book still not sure of some characters' actual gender. Such a unique aspect.
I do find it curious that readers would be heartbroken about Kim's sexual orientation. She was raised to be gender neutral, so that's how she saw herself, but everything about her encounters indicated her preference. This was cemented in my mind when Shan's gender was eventually revealed, as it was clear to me from the start that their relationship had been more than platonic.
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Post by Tara D Morgan »

I imagined the characters in the book as whatever gender their name suggested eg Kimberley, Kim ( I know men can be called Kim but generally this is a female name) I imagined these characters in my head as female. Good question :D
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Post by Samantha Barnes 3 »

I made guesses about the characters' genders as I was reading, but I didn't really mind that the other never really specified most of the characters' genders. I thought it was a really interesting twist.
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Post by Amy Luman »

I don’t think the actual gender of any of the characters is extremely relevant. The point seems to be that all of the characters were required to be gender neutral. None of them got to be who they were.it was decided for them.
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Post by Limpho Mojakisane »

At first, I was also labelling some characters as male and female eventhough they were reffered to as she. However, as the book progressed, I noticed that the only gender being referred to were females, especially in times of intimacy.
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Post by Alex Reeves »

I'm still not clear as to the reason for the gender neutrality. Was that supposed to give the story a kind of mysterious aura, or something?
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Post by Wilkister Inzai Avagalwa »

I love the fact that there was gender neutrality. That way, each character was treated equally, not based on their gender, i.e., Kim and Shan
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Post by Olga Markova »

I personally liked the exposure given by the book to the gender and romance issues - suffice to mention the "fine for loitering with amorous intent". I believe the book addressed well the issues of "genderism" where everyone is expected to accept dates and intimacy with any person of any gender matched by the Matchmaker AI - the book creates a grotesque of the current topical issue of genderism.

As for Kim, I am happy that she found the strength to stand up for her genderist choice, whatever it is. The point is that humans must be afforded the freedom of choice.
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Post by Israel10 »

The narrative that was employed to narrate the events in this book was definitely peculiar and I found it quite intriguing trying to discover the individual identity and sexual orientation of the character’s as they were introduced. However, this puzzle probably distracted me from fully enjoying this book.
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Post by Aloe Crane »

Hannah Hampton wrote: 18 Dec 2022, 15:40 What did everyone think about gender in Terms of Service? I thought it was a really interesting conversation-starter on individual identity. I found myself labeling some characters as male or female even though they were all referred to as "she," did anyone else imagine characters like this? I felt absolutely heartbroken during Kim's revelation about her sexuality. I was curious what everybody's thoughts were on these things!
I thought it was truly heartbreaking that people couldn't have preferences, even if they have such a strong repulsion to certain people. I just couldn't believe that in this modern society, the tables were turned. Instead of being gay being treated like a mental disorder, the book treats anyone that isn't equal to both innies and outies like they have a mental disorder. It's eerily similar, but just different enough to cause goosebumps. I hate the idea that if you're part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you have something wrong with you that needs to be fixed. I know it's not as common to hear that, but it still feels like it's common enough.
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Aloe Crane
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Post by Aloe Crane »

Maryam Newman wrote: 21 Dec 2022, 01:43 With the main character being female and thus the personal pronouns being feminine for everyone, it made all the characters female by default until proven otherwise, which is a very interesting way to proceed through a book full of characters! I was caught out more than once, which was a good laugh; the biggest being the "woman" with the big red beard :-D
It was the craziest thing (and something I've never, ever come across before) to finish the book still not sure of some characters' actual gender. Such a unique aspect.
I do find it curious that readers would be heartbroken about Kim's sexual orientation. She was raised to be gender neutral, so that's how she saw herself, but everything about her encounters indicated her preference. This was cemented in my mind when Shan's gender was eventually revealed, as it was clear to me from the start that their relationship had been more than platonic.
It was definitely crazy to not know everyone's gender lol. I was so sad when they said Kim needed to be fixed QAQ. I didn't realize their relationship was more until the big reveal.
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Aloe Crane
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Post by Aloe Crane »

Alex Reeves wrote: 04 Jan 2023, 02:22 I'm still not clear as to the reason for the gender neutrality. Was that supposed to give the story a kind of mysterious aura, or something?
Well hello there Alex! :tiphat: I think the main reason for gender neutrality was because the society in the book values gender neutrality. It makes it clear that they want everyone to be the same and like everyone. They want everyone to be equal, and it just adds to the story, I think! Have a nice day!
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