Lies our parents tell us

[Maduabuchi Okwiya N Eze]

To me, lies have huge negative effect on children, irrespective of whether it is a small lie or big lie. Parents who do so are indirectly teaching their children how to be dishonest, and this is not healthy for their development.

[Chiwelite Obioma Mgbeoji]

I think certain lies are told because at some stages in our lives, we are not ready for the truth. I believe a time should come where parents correct the lies they told their children because of their young age, however, I do not think I have met anyone who felt betrayed that their parents told them a particular lie. For the sake of knowledge though, parents should correct some wrong impressions as children grow.

[AvishaJain_13]

Being on the either extreme end is always harmful and so I think that a few, small white lies don't affect the lives of kids blatantly. However, about the things that really matter, like sexual health etc, it is imperative to be honest.

[María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda]

I think it depends on the dimension of the lie, the intention behind it, and... how long you hold to it. I mean, you don't believe in Santa anymore. And probably Santa has less of an effect than sex-ed. But I do believe kids don't need to know the ins and outs of a sexual relationship. The author focuses a lot on biological terms, and at least in my opinion, the amount of information should depend on the age of the kid, on their interest (some kids just mature sooner than others), and on the culture. Finally, I think it's also about the aspect of the lie. Consent, for example, is something that we shouldn't lie about or downplay. But some other aspects might not be life-changing at long as the adult sets the lie straight at some point.

[Cheryl Erickson]

I don't think letting your child believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny can be compared to lying about body parts, sexual hygiene, adoption, etc. You can be honest with your child about important issues if you meet them at their appropriate level of development. It depends on how old they are and if they are cognitively able to process the information.

[Tracy Harris 1]

Lies we tell to children to protect there innocence and give them hope and joy I think are fine as long as they are little white lies such as Santa Claus existing, the easter bunny etc. The lies that could potentially harm a child are things like, "your dog went to stay on a farm" instead of allowing the child to process and develop skills to deal with grief. Those lies tend to benefit us as adults from having to deal with hard topics. They are generally not beneficial for the child.

[Israel10]

I definitely don’t think that some of the little harmful lies which our parents told us while growing up had an overbearing impact on the way we planned out or what our futures became.

[Rocky Ellery James Tumbelaka]

Lies never is a good thing. It' okay to have a little fun with Santa Clause, but we shouldn't tell them outright that he is real or not. We shouldn't lie to our children, what we need to do is give them understanding. They will understand. Children are smarter than we think. It' okay to have a little fun with Santa Clause, but we shouldn't tell them outright that he is real or not.

[Hubre De Klerk]

I think it depends on what the lie is about. Things like Santa Clause, the Tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. definitely not damaging as I believe children have a huge imagination and this helps keep that magical world alive before we enter the grown-up world. There are too many serious kids that missed out on this phase due to circumstances that happened early in their lives.

[Shirley Ann Riddern Labzentis]

I think that the little white lies about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are perfectly fine. I would say that 90% of kids all believe in them. I think that to tell your child right for the start that there is no Santa Claus is doing them more harm. Imagine them going to daycare and all the others in the class believe in him and your child doesn’t will make them an outsider and possibly ridiculed by the other kids. Let them believe with the others. It’s not going to ruin their lives.

[John Ikenwanze]

I think the so called little white lies are the reason adulthood is directly synonymous with lies. When the kids grow up and recall these lies, they in turn believe it is the normal way of life. I will try to stay truthful to my kids.

[Aloe Crane]

I somewhat disagree with this, lying about Santa Claus and lying about topics like this is two different matters entirely. Sometimes lies can turn into misconceptions that they will still believe in the future.

Yeah you do have a point . I just remember that the book compared any lie to sin, regardless of what the lie is. Any lie, big or small (according to the author), is Satan trying to worm his way into you or something (sorry I'm an atheist and don't quite understand this). Regardless, I do think those two are very different but I wanted to see if anyone agreed with the author as well, and why?

[Itz Savaga]

Little white lies don't hurt any child. It's all part of the fun of being a child. The discovery of the truth as an adult makes one smile and remember the good old days.

[Nyam Bura]

I believe there is nothing like small lying. We should all be honest at all times. Most children do not trust their parents anymore after they realize that they lied to them. The parents may lie to hide some information but the peers at school will say it as it is. This will make the kids be more open with their peers than with their parents.

[readingswithsoso]

Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?

There's a difference between lying and fantasizing together with the child.
You can tell a child that Santa Claus is a myth that many people believe it's true. Without telling your child that it is a 100% while you believe it's 100% unreal. The realization that's it's not real might not make you feel disappointed or depressed but it will certainly make you question your parents and how much you can trust their words. And that can lead to future problems. Have you wonder why you accept and normalised lying in our adult life.
Either way, adults are reasonable for themselves. Children are dependent on the adult. They need to trust them.