Lies our parents tell us

[Cristina Corui Mihailescu]

As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?

Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?

There were questions, indeed. A classmate brought it to school...That one also told them all about it! I had a talk with his mom, but it was too late.

[Zainab Wasif]

I think it is best to avoid white lies as much as one can. Kids are smarter and more aware these days. While there are certainly things that are not appropriate to be told at a young age, lying about tooth fairy and Santa Claus etc must be avoided. Some vague concept about age inappropriate things can still be given to kids without lying to them. Lies develop resentment, misunderstandings and mistrust in children.

[Chimomaebuka Ejimchi]

I agree with you on that, but it actually depends on the kind of white lie told. I would also advise that as the child grows, the parents should try to correct the lie. If it's to make a child happy, a white lie is not harmful.

[Medina Fedrick]

Lies aren't bad depending on the circumstance, white lies which parents tell in other to shield their children could be some form of relief to the child at that moment.

[Shedrack A]

Small white lies told to children are generally not harmful to their development and are a normal part of social interaction. In fact, some white lies can even be beneficial for children's development, such as when parents use them to protect their children from age-inappropriate information or to encourage positive behavior. However, it is important for parents to strike a balance between honesty and protecting their children's emotional well-being. As children grow older and mature, parents should gradually phase out white lies and instead focus on truthful and age-appropriate communication.

[Hazel Mae Bagarinao]

It depends on what lies it is. And it depends if it is appropriate for the receiver to hear the truth. Some lies about Santa are not harmful to kids but lies about sex have an age bracket, to tell the truth, or not.

[Agbata Charles]

Virtual any parent may decide to lie to their children if they see that the truth can make them go astray. So I think that so far as there is a reason for that, it is not a bad idea for parents to tell some petty lies to their children.

[Bettny Andrade]

Completely agree with you. Specifically, these kinds of lies. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, baby Jesus, among others...

In my case, it was an extremely disappointing experience. Because for a child, it is a great illusion to believe in something in particular, the fantasy of the impossible, is "real", but then you find out that this was a mockery, a lie to your face, on the part of the person in the one you trust the most

Definitely I would not do that with my children, they would be aware of the popular traditions and would receive their gifts, but always knowing everything. without any kind of deception. That's not healthy.

[Bettny Andrade]

Lying to children is not healthy. Children need responsible adults who may be able to guide them.

It is alarming the erroneous ideas that a child can grow up with when their parents do not want to tell them about a subject, and they evade it, or the adults simply lie.

[Catalina Isabel]

I think it's fine to tell these white lies, as long as it's things thay they don't need to know about yet, and it won't harm them to not know. If it's to do with Santa or the Easter Bunny, I remember so much joy from this as a child. I don't think it would have been fair to deprive me of these beautiful memories, just to not tell a white lie.

[Claire Twy]

Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?

I think parents telling white lies to children is sometimes necessary. A child's mind can be too innocent to fully grasp adult concepts, so simplifying it into something they can understand involves sugarcoating and sometimes fabrication. The tooth fairy, Santa Claus, all this kept the magic alive in my childhood and gave me such precious moments to remember.

[Shanesha Sammerson]

While some parents may tell small lies to their children with the best intentions, such as to protect them or make them feel better, it is generally not a good idea. Even small lies can damage a child's trust in their parent and can also teach them that it is okay to lie in certain situations.

Children are very perceptive and can often pick up on when their parents are not being truthful with them, even if it is a small lie. This can lead to feelings of confusion, mistrust, and even resentment towards their parents. Additionally, if a child learns that it is okay to lie in certain situations, they may carry this behavior into adulthood and struggle with issues of honesty and integrity.

It is important for parents to model honesty and integrity in all aspects of their lives and to be truthful with their children, even when it is difficult. This can help children develop a strong sense of trust and respect for their parents, as well as a positive and healthy attitude towards honesty and integrity.

[Olivia Bird Whitworth]

Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?

For most things, I don't think we should lie to our children at all. Personally, we don't plan on lying about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny to our children (My oldest is still only 1). However, my parents led me to believe in Santa Claus until I was 7 and my husband had a similar experience. It didn't make me disappointed in the world for long or cause me to deeply distrust my parents when I found out. I think if you plan on following typical lies like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, there needs to be a time when eventually the truth is found out, and the biggest thing that matters is how you react. If parents continue to hold to the Santa story even after their kids know, that would undermine their trust for sure. But if parents explain why they chose to pretend Santa was real, then their kids can start to understand that it was all done with good intentions.

I do think we should strive for honesty to build strong relationships though. If I tell my daughter "one more time" I try to always make that the last time. And if I tell her "after you do this, then we can do that," I try to always make sure that we get to the activity she wanted. Otherwise she won't trust me in the future when I say those same things and it will lead to power struggles.

[Abbie Braun]

"All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY."

Terry Pitcher, Hogfather


I think this completely sums up lies. We have to believe the small lies, so that we can believe the big ones. I don't think telling small lies is harmful. It builds a foundation that we all understand.

[Mellino Itz]

Little white lies do not have effect on children but adults should be very cautious to reveal the truth at appropriate age as the child grows older. There are some certain things I was lied to but when I grew up I was happy I had not know them then. I appreciate the truth now because I am more mature and see things maturely.