Lies our parents tell us
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Re: Lies our parents tell us
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I think Santa is the only one I remember. We never did tooth fairy or Easter bunny. I remember being absolutely wrecked when I was told Santa wasn’t real. I think I would have preferred not being told, especially if I still got presentsAloe Crane wrote: ↑04 Jan 2023, 00:34 Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?
And bought our pretty crowns, but never paid the price
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Well said, Hellen! "Lies" that parents tell their children (Santa/Easter Bunny) are justified in my opinion. I mean, Christmas does have a certain magical component to and that's part of the fun. As Hellen said, in other cases, parents also feel the need to protect their children. When young children don't understand something, some of them don't say anything and who knows what assumptions they may construct. Your last sentence about accommodation was perfect. Couldn't have said it beter myself.Hellen Muriithi wrote: ↑04 Jan 2023, 22:56I believe in situational ethics. Growing up, I asked my parents where children came from. They were not straightforward in their responses and would take me in rounds, especially as my cognition grew, there were lies about the origin of children that would not make sense to me. Imagine my school when I got to school, received sexual education then learnt how exactly children are made. Looking back, I don't feel betrayed by my parents. I feel protected from the truths that I may not have been ready for. It's the same case for adopted children. Imagine telling your biological children that a boy or girl they've always thought was their elder brother or sister is biologically not related to them. It will create a sense of stigmatisation and victimisation in the worst case scenario. In the latter case, I think it's best to wait until an age where the children can comfortably accommodate such information.Aloe Crane wrote: ↑04 Jan 2023, 00:34 Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?
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I couldn't agree more. They become compounded, leading to a habit, or worse, harm. There are seriously times lying should be off the table.Joanna Olson wrote: ↑03 Feb 2023, 13:51 Generally, small white lies aren’t an issue. However, sometimes they lead to bigger lies which can affect a child’s mindset about lying in general.
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They may have worked then, but I doubt that would be the case with our present generation, where harm literally stares at us from every place. No, not with our "Gen Z-ers."
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Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?Cristina Corui Mihailescu wrote: ↑05 Jan 2023, 14:13 As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?
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There were questions, indeed. A classmate brought it to school...That one also told them all about it! I had a talk with his mom, but it was too late.Kansas City Teacher wrote: ↑11 Mar 2023, 13:52Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?Cristina Corui Mihailescu wrote: ↑05 Jan 2023, 14:13 As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?
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There were questions, indeed. A classmate brought it to school...That one also told them all about it! I had a talk with his mom, but it was too late.Kansas City Teacher wrote: ↑11 Mar 2023, 13:52Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?Cristina Corui Mihailescu wrote: ↑05 Jan 2023, 14:13 As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?