Lies our parents tell us

Use this forum to discuss the January 2023 Book of the Month, Good Sexual Hygiene & Spiritual Attitude: Human Ethics by Anthony A. Morris.
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Sharill Rasowo
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Re: Lies our parents tell us

Post by Sharill Rasowo »

It really depends on the situation. A lie about Santa Claus is not particularly harmful: a lie about adoption or sexual topics may have far-reaching consequences. Being truthful using language children can understand builds trust and makes the parent the first port of call when children have questions.
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Post by David Chijindu »

The age of the child and the depth of the lie, in my opinion, are key considerations. Sometimes it's important to tell lies since small children can't understand the truth. Other times, like with Santa Claus, they are quite safe.
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Post by Aisha Yakub »

For kids, telling lies about Santa and other made-up characters might not be harmful. However, I believe that it is crucial to make no lies when it comes to sexual hygiene and understanding of their body parts because they may be both damaging and hazardous.
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OTrain Disene
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Post by OTrain Disene »

No, white lies do not harm children when they are not about serious things like Santa, fairies, and superheroes. But to hygiene and private parts, they do cause harm. Kids need to be taught the real names of their private parts and stuff like that so they can know why they have them and why they are different from other kids. This also protects them from abusers out there.
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Post by Precious Amarachi Nzeakor »

I guess it depends on the magnitude. And as you it, small white lies about tooth fairies and Santa don't really. It's part of the stories and experiences we retell when we are older and have a good laugh over.
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Post by Joanna Olson »

Generally, small white lies aren’t an issue. However, sometimes they lead to bigger lies which can affect a child’s mindset about lying in general.
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Post by Kayla Archer »

I think this is a touchy topic. My husband and I did not force Santa or the Easter Bunny, but we did have some fun with the tooth fairy. Also, some things are just too heavy for children to hear, so avoidance or a little lie might show up. I’m not saying it’s the best advice. I believe families should be honest and have open conversations with children. It should be a safe place for them.
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Post by MsChet Cherry »

There's a reason kids are taught according to their age. Telling kids the whole truth may cause some damages sometimes because of their level of understanding.
So, telling a white lie may sometimes be needed to avoid ambiguity. And trust me, it won't cause them depression.
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Post by Chris Alex Powell »

I do not believe that little white lies hurt children. I believe that it helps them to enjoy childhood at their ages because it hides the harsh realities of life, allowing them to dwell in fantasies and happiness. Once they pass a certain stage though, they should be told the truth.
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Mary Bircher
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Post by Mary Bircher »

The author implied that when kids are lied to about the tooth fairy, they grow up to be drug addicts. That actually made me angry! I'm in agreement that you shouldn't lie about important things, but the tooth fairy is not one of those things. The kid probably knows she doesn't really exist at some point, and just wants the dollar. This book was really judgmental. My sister-in-law was addicted to drugs; I'll have to ask her if she believed in the tooth fairy… :roll:
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Post by Meghan Sica »

I think sometimes we have to lie to our children. Sometimes a lie is necessary because they are too young to understand the truth. For instance by son, who was only 5 or 6 at the time, asked me how babies get inside moms belly. I'm sorry, but at that age I knew he was not ready for the complete truth of that matter. I explained very briefly how when two people love each other they decide to have a baby and just sort of skipped over the details. When he is older and has a better understanding, I will explain the full details then.
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Post by AllTooWell »

The impact a lie has on someone depends on the context and circumstances that surround the moment the truth is discovered and the moment the lie was told. Lying about Santa Claus is harmless, but lying about sexual matters could have consequences beyond what I could imagine. Lying should be done only in harmless or extreme situations.
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Naghma Qureshi
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Post by Naghma Qureshi »

Some lies over petty stuff may be harmless. For example, I sometimes used to lie to my toddler that the tv connection got broken when I would subtly switch it off because telling him that cartoon time is up was inviting a tantrum. But this would seem harmless only as long as the kid wouldn't find out the truth. If somebody had told my kids at that time that I was lying, I would have been in for a much bigger tantrum and also broken trust. But, I can tell to my kid today when he is 8 years old that I lied then and it will not do any harm to our relationship today. But still, I believe the best policy is that of truth and it goes a long way in having a good, trustworthy bonding. And certain topics such as sexual health or relationships should never be lied about as they can definitely turn out to be dangerous and risky.
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Natasha Hlongwane
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Post by Natasha Hlongwane »

I don't think parents telling white lies affects children negatively in any way. I actually think it's necessary to have children believe that Santa Clause or the tooth fairy is real. It all adds to the wonderment of childhood; it makes life more interesting. Eventually, as they grow up, they'll discover the truth, but still hold their childhood memories dear.
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Post by ThankGod Onyishi »

Small white lies do not harm children. A lie about Santa Claus for example or the tooth fairy keeps children excited about certain things. Instead of crying over a lost tooth, the child eagerly places the tooth under his/her pillow.
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