Lies our parents tell us

[ViviVivid]

Lying is never a solution except for very special instances. Parents can choose to explain whatever they are trying to do more simply and understandably rather than lying. If the children find out their parents lied to them, it could encourage them to do the same as well which is not a good thing.

[Anthony Ekemezie]

Sometimes it’s good to tell a bit of white lie, most times considering the age of the child. But parents should know when not to overdo it in order to maintain the trust their child has in them.

[Bef Ozo]

African parents always have their tales relating to every scenario and sex was one of them. They told scary stories to scare of youths from having premarital sex. It sounds funny now but it worked then.

[AnInternationalMountainMan]

I agree, Lies especially white lies my parents told me, didn't effect me in my later life. This, I belie is also due to the fact, that whilest they did tell me white-lies to protect me at a young age, they wvery much drove me to be naturally curious and questioning. Therefore I was able to correct those lies when I was older and mature enough to understand their meaning and context. However, in a time where many parents let their children freely roam the internet, topics like this one are concerningly accessible and therefore, patents might influence the child to look the topic up on the internet, which generally speaking will only really break the trust between parent and child.

[Jack King]

Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?

I think Santa is the only one I remember. We never did tooth fairy or Easter bunny. I remember being absolutely wrecked when I was told Santa wasn’t real. I think I would have preferred not being told, especially if I still got presents

[Kansas City Teacher]

Do small white lies to kids really harm their development and ruin their future? It doesn't seem likely to me. I don't think being lied to about Santa Claus made me depressed and disappointed by the real world. I mean, what's the harm in a little lie? Isn't lying part of our adult life?

I believe in situational ethics. Growing up, I asked my parents where children came from. They were not straightforward in their responses and would take me in rounds, especially as my cognition grew, there were lies about the origin of children that would not make sense to me. Imagine my school when I got to school, received sexual education then learnt how exactly children are made. Looking back, I don't feel betrayed by my parents. I feel protected from the truths that I may not have been ready for. It's the same case for adopted children. Imagine telling your biological children that a boy or girl they've always thought was their elder brother or sister is biologically not related to them. It will create a sense of stigmatisation and victimisation in the worst case scenario. In the latter case, I think it's best to wait until an age where the children can comfortably accommodate such information.

Well said, Hellen! "Lies" that parents tell their children (Santa/Easter Bunny) are justified in my opinion. I mean, Christmas does have a certain magical component to and that's part of the fun. As Hellen said, in other cases, parents also feel the need to protect their children. When young children don't understand something, some of them don't say anything and who knows what assumptions they may construct. Your last sentence about accommodation was perfect. Couldn't have said it beter myself.

[Bradley Shelvie]

I'm all for telling children the truth. They may look like white lies until they take a dark turn. The point I'm actually driving at is on sexual education. When puberty starts, a child that received good information will better know what to expect from their bodily changes, therefore finding it easy to navigate the stage. This is just one instance among many where it may not be prudent to lie to your child.

[Bradley Shelvie]

Generally, small white lies aren’t an issue. However, sometimes they lead to bigger lies which can affect a child’s mindset about lying in general.

I couldn't agree more. They become compounded, leading to a habit, or worse, harm. There are seriously times lying should be off the table.

[Bradley Shelvie]

African parents always have their tales relating to every scenario and sex was one of them. They told scary stories to scare of youths from having premarital sex. It sounds funny now but it worked then.

They may have worked then, but I doubt that would be the case with our present generation, where harm literally stares at us from every place. No, not with our "Gen Z-ers."

[Victor Ayub Migos]

Small white lies may not affect kids, they actually protect their innocence. Although as the kid grows up a parent should clarify some things, this helps the kid understand things easily and how the world works.

[Diamond Harrell]

I think the real problem is, how will parents define a "little" lie. Is not telling you, your dad is not your dad perhaps a little lie to them but to you world shattering? People, parents included, will sometimes sacrifice the truth in order to push off dealing with certain consequences or reactions. Lying seems very fearbased to me (in the majority). It's kind of hard to say what is little and where to draw the line. I think it can also be hard for children to understand that nuance. If they see you lie, they now think lying is okay.

[Azuka Jessica]

I feel that most of those lies were to save us from the truth. So, I have no grudge. Except that some times, those lies result into very unfortunate events.

[Kansas City Teacher]

As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?

Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?

[Cristina Corui Mihailescu]

As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?

Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?

There were questions, indeed. A classmate brought it to school...That one also told them all about it! I had a talk with his mom, but it was too late.

[Cristina Corui Mihailescu]

As a mother of an adopted kid, I will never forget the moment I told him the truth- at 6 years old, before starting school. His first question was WHY did you Lie to me? I explained that he had been too young to understand clearly and he soon calmed down. But about sexual issues, it was he who came back from school with a condom and explained to me what it was and its use, when he was only 8...so what white lies could I say from then on?

Oh goodness! At 8 years old! It seems there should have been some questions about where it came from and how he came to have it?

There were questions, indeed. A classmate brought it to school...That one also told them all about it! I had a talk with his mom, but it was too late.