Lies our parents tell us

Use this forum to discuss the January 2023 Book of the Month, Good Sexual Hygiene & Spiritual Attitude: Human Ethics by Anthony A. Morris.
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Jenna Floyd
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Re: Lies our parents tell us

Post by Jenna Floyd »

As others in this thread have mentioned, there are nuances. One important thing is understanding the individual child. A white lie about Santa might be completely fine with one kid and devastating with another. It depends on the parents, their relationships with their children, and their personalities. Regarding the more critical things in life, parents shouldn’t lie. My mom was adopted at birth and grew up knowing she was adopted. There wasn’t some big reveal or big betrayal; her parents were always honest, and she knew they deeply loved her. All that said, when it comes to complex adult issues, such as sexual hygiene, I don’t think they should go into the whole truth either. Sometimes a child can understand a small piece of a puzzle but doesn’t need all of the information upfront.
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Post by Leslie Kunde »

Tales of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are harmless fairytales. Lying about being adopted is in another category. I feel the difference between them should be easy to see. I know a girl that was lied to. Her mom told her her dad had died. He never knew he had a daughter. 35 years later they both found out when her mom died. The girl was a mess for years.
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Post by Akshi Porwal »

Some lies can be told to kids like Santa Claus, but lies about serious topics like sexual health cab be harmful and misleading in the long run.
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Post by Annas Felix »

For me, it wasn't about the lies about sex and all things related to it. My issue with my parents was that they didn't tell me about these things on time; they would have saved me from some of the crazy choices I made.
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Post by Donna Walker »

ilze herholdt wrote: 04 Jan 2023, 05:49 This will include tails such as Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, and others. I don't think that lying to kids about this will influence their adult life. After all what harm is there in lying about fictional characters existing in the real world. It is important to tell adopted children about their background since withholding information will most definitely influence their adult life.
I completely agree with you on this. These fictional characters bring joy to children's lives. I certainly do not consider myself emotionally damaged from being told these tales. For those who consider themselves damaged as a result of being forced to believe in Santa Claus, perhaps their real problem lies elsewhere? As for background information, I definitely think these things should be disclosed. My friend has adopted children, both now grown and new babies, and they are aware that they are adopted. The grownups are thankful that they were never lied to and are perfectly well-adjusted people.
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Post by Alex Reeves »

The ones that you consider as lies, for example as in the case of Santa Claus, are just a temporary way to instill feelings of happiness and joy into the hearts of kids. These inventions, Santa Claus and the rest, are later found out by the kids themselves to be untrue, and they make jokes on how gullible they were to have believed such things. When it comes to the real world though, we have to try to be audible about certain aspects of life that are necessary for our kids future. Parents may tell you a lie about sex and other related matters to keep you from prying too much and getting ahead of yourself to the extent that you want to try it out. This may be helpful for a limited period of time, but as you grow older, the truth always resurfaces. Good day.
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Post by Crs webco »

Maybe it's how the "lies" about Santa, etc. are introduced to children. For example, at my home, my dad and mom talked of Santa as the "Spirit of Christmas" so becoming part of the "Spirit of Christmas" felt like a privilege to me. Helping others, who might have to make do with little or nothing, is something all of us should aspire to.
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Post by Aditii Mehta »

Lies about Santa Claus and tooth fairies do not cause any harm to the development of the kids, they eventually find out the truth on their own when they grow up. But white lies about certain topics like sexual hygiene would probably turn out to be harmful.
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Post by Rocky Ellery James Tumbelaka »

You should never lie to your children. Children are smart. Just tell them the truth and give them an understanding. Lies are the way of adults of the old. In modern time we should do better for our children.
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Post by Kenneth Onyenwe »

The common saying to most ladies then is: don't allow a guy to touch you else you will get pregnant. The truth is, as a lady, you will never get pregnant without being intimate with the opposite sex. This is a popular lie I heard growing up
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Post by Austin McMichael »

Aditi Mehta 1 wrote: 21 Jan 2023, 09:22 Lies about Santa Claus and tooth fairies do not cause any harm to the development of the kids, they eventually find out the truth on their own when they grow up. But white lies about certain topics like sexual hygiene would probably turn out to be harmful.
I hear where you're coming from. It's true that when we were kids, finding out that Santa and the tooth fairy weren't real didn't really do any harm. But when it comes to certain topics like sexual hygiene, it's probably better to be truthful. Parenting is full of tough decisions, but honesty is always the best policy.
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Post by Laney K »

I think it depends if those lies keep happening and creating are denied to be lies when the child has proof or a sense they are not real. I think simple lies like Santa Claus are fine for really young children.
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Post by Nganyi Humphrey »

If it's a lie to protect your kid then I don't think it's wrong. It's all for the better development of your kid. But again, if it's something that the kid can learn from the outside world, I prefer telling the truth to the child to ensure I earn the child's trust.
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Post by Theresa Moffitt »

I don’t think lies about sexual health are beneficial to anyone. While subjects like Santa Claus wouldn’t have a negative impact, lies about more serious topics could significantly impact them
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Post by Leasa Ana Maria »

I believe that the lies that our parents told us and that we told the next generation, such as the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, the puppy is in a special place, or any other harmless lie that has the purpose of protecting and bringing a bit of magic, happiness, and comfort, have no harm. 
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