Question over a long-standing marriage

[Nisha DSouza]

I agree with many who posted saying what happens in a marriage is between those two individuals. Outsiders will never know what circumstances lead to Mark's divorce. And we cannot judge him for not explaining that. It is his personal life. Even if he is a public figure, it doesn't give anyone the right to ask him for a justification. That's just my opinion.

[AnInternationalMountainMan]

I believe sometimes trying to reconcile with an estranged spouse is important, especially if children are involved. However, it is also my opinion that living an unfulfilled and unhappy life can damage the lives of the children, as it can convince them that they stand in the way of their parents happiness. The fact that he is honest with his ex-wife and towards himself is mature, and therefore the right thing to do in my opinion. However he could possible have tried harder to reconcile with her. Therefore even though I do not know every specific detail of this specific case, I am inclined to agree that a honest and upright devorce was, if not the most ideal option, the mature and respectfull thing to do.

[Jack King]

I believe sometimes trying to reconcile with an estranged spouse is important, especially if children are involved. However, it is also my opinion that living an unfulfilled and unhappy life can damage the lives of the children, as it can convince them that they stand in the way of their parents happiness. The fact that he is honest with his ex-wife and towards himself is mature, and therefore the right thing to do in my opinion. However he could possible have tried harder to reconcile with her. Therefore even though I do not know every specific detail of this specific case, I am inclined to agree that a honest and upright devorce was, if not the most ideal option, the mature and respectfull thing to do.

I agree with you, also sometimes the longer you try and force it to work for the children the harder it could then be to have a cordial relationship afterwards. Potentially making it even harder for children after a split.

[Oluoma Chukwu]

It may be quite different to see the full picture of what may have gone down with the two of them in private. With the kind of man that Mark is, I feel he must have tried but the truth is that things don't always have to work out. Taking an honorable bow may have been the best option.

[Smrithi Arun]

Staying together just for the sake of the child isn’t always a good idea. Sure, separating and making the child choose one parent is equally disturbing for their growth but at least they won’t grow up in an unhappy environment. Speaking of the trying to make it work, unless we know both sides of the story and both the parties personally, it isn’t right on our part to comment on their marriage. They must’ve split up for a good reason. 27 years is a quite a long time after all!

[Success Azuka]

I don't like divorce if fights isn't involved. Mark should have reconsider since there were children in the marriage. Marriage is not easy but it is all about perseverance.

[Aisha Yakub]

As someone who is not a part of their relationship, I agree that it is difficult to evaluate and say that they should have tried harder. In addition, other from the divorce, I don't think there was much personal information regarding Hansen's previous marriage in the book. Yet, before concluding that divorce is the best course of action for all parties, most marriages do their utmost to make it work, especially if there are children.

[Abdul-Malik Hassan]

After 27 years of failed marriage, I think Mark deserved the chance to live a happy and fulfilling life. In his sixties, everything culminated for him concerning his work and love-life. His relationship with Crystal transformed his life completely.

[Azuka Jessica]

For a twenty seven year old marriage, I think that they have been through thick and thin for Mark to have divorced his wife like that. Anyways, the major determinant is the offense committed.

[AnInternationalMountainMan]

After 27 years of failed marriage, I think Mark deserved the chance to live a happy and fulfilling life. In his sixties, everything culminated for him concerning his work and love-life. His relationship with Crystal transformed his life completely.

I agree, there is a point in life where you can probably say that you've tried enough, to save your marriage. After 27 years of a failing marriage, a non-fulfilling job, and problems all around, I would also try getting my life in order, and possibly improve myself and improve my life. To be fair his relationship with Crystal helped him and at least he is being honest with his wife. I have a colleague who felt trapped in his marriage and cheated on his wife for years, using excuses and eventually making her hate him and now he has destroyed the harmonic family life his children had forever.

[Zainab Wasif]

A third person can never judge a marriage. Often two persons who are individually very successful, empathetic and esteemed are not a good match with their partners. Often, their marriage is a cause of distress for their families and kids. In such circumstances, it is better to part ways. The differences must have been huge because it is never easy to part ways after an association of twenty seven years. I’m sure both partners would have wanted to save their marriage especially since kids were involved too.

[Lucy Vera]

I do not think being an Optimist means that one should continue in a situation or relationship that they find unfavorable. One of the perks of being an Optimist should be to look forward to a positive outcome even if the current marriage has deteriorated.

[Medina Fedrick]

I think that while their daughters might be a reason to stay together, it might also be a pointer for them to split up. Because their relationship affects their children, and he is the only one that knows what he withstand and what he can't, hence his decision to divorce.

[Nqobile Mashinini Tshabalala]

27 years really is a long time but the pair chose to go that route and it is what it is. Divorce is never nice and I personally hate it because of what it does to families but I'd like to believe it was amicable.

[FunkyFlowerLady]

Regrettably, the surface level of a relationship rarely reveals all that is going on. It is practically hard for anyone to understand the reasons why certain couples can overcome challenges while others cannot unless they play a crucial role in the relationship. During the 27 years they were married, perhaps Patty was given additional time and second, third, or even fourth chances, and Mark ultimately gave up. The six years that passed between Mark's divorce and his remarriage gave him more time to consider reconciliation; it's possible that he attempted it but it didn't work. Mark doesn't seem to have rushed into his second marriage.